BlackwaterDnD

Em:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Balance, is a miniseries using the Powered by the Apocalypse system, Godkiller, which was created by Connie Chang, now available on Itch.io for purchase, and is proudly sponsored by Hero Forge and Moonbeam. This tale takes us back, long before the end of the universe, to a time when we begin to explore & understand old divine wounds that run so very deep, and what happens when love is caught in the middle. This story encouraged us as creators to strive for genuine emotion and connection, relish the space we create at the table, and take big swings with the way we approached our narrative. For this story, your GOD, everyone else, and the thrum of the Cradle, is myself, Em Carlson, and my GODKILLERs are played by Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. As this game falls within a holypunk and dark fantasy genre, it may contain themes and depictions that are triggering for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and access safe support as you see fit.

Content warnings for this episode include: anger // discussion of deep water // taunting // aggression // substance use // knives as weapons

So sit back and relax, heretics. And welcome to Godkiller: Balance.

Episode Three: Exploring

Jannes (as Rake):
“Hey, sunshine. You're not going to find what you're looking for in there. I can promise you that.”

Em:
A moment hangs here, in the city square in Glass, and we can slow down the time, because there is truly nowhere else we should be, but right here. This day, this place, this time, these people… they're important. Everything is important in its own way, of course. But sometimes a waterfall starts as a single drop. Sometimes a rock slide starts as one pebble. Sometimes a wildfire starts from a solitary spark.

The tides of time, and whatever magic is left in the universe, begin shifting towards the end today. Not that anyone here would know that. And though we can't see it yet, the universe turns its heading towards a much needed oblivion. But there's no need to rush. We have a while yet.

The hazy sunlight of the long dead Acletolem has the square lit brightly, with a slight breeze that weaves its way through the carts and stalls, and bustling with people moving about their daily business. Trade and commerce below, with construction going on above. But our gaze is locked on two people. One on the steps beginning to make her way inside Temple Lybica, and the other about 10 paces behind, his feet betraying him as he makes a start in that direction.

Ever, you hear this voice call to you as you take your first steps up towards the slightly ajar door of Temple Lybica, with the air suddenly feeling cold around you, despite the weather. What would you like to do?

Gina:
I think instinctively, if… you said the air is colder around me, now?

Em:
Mmhmm

Gina:
I think I would pull my shawl closer, and turn in the direction of this... Do I see who's speaking to me?

Em:
As you turn around… Ever, can you describe what you look like?

Gina:
I'm… fairly normal looking. I'm average. I have blonde hair… waved, not necessarily curled, pulled back in a loose braid. I have fair skin, and grey green eyes, and freckles across my cheeks. And… I look exhausted, quite tired. And I'm wearing plain travelling clothes. I'm wearing a faded red work shirt, meant for colder months, and a thicker woollen shawl across my shoulders. I just look, especially in this moment, I look confused at the… someone who seems to know who I am and why I'm here. And they don't know me, I don't think.

Em:
And as she turns to look, who does she see when she looks in your direction?

Jannes:
You would see a tall man. Probably about six foot two. Black hair, in a ponytail. You see a quite prominent nose, on gaunt cheeks. His face is made up of hard lines. He is clad in all black leather. Except for two silver caps at the end of his pointed boots. You would see Rake.

Gina (as Ever):
“I'm sorry, do I know you?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Not yet.”

Gina (as Ever):
“And then how do you know what I'm here for? And if I will, I won't find it.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Because I once went there for the same thing. And they don't have answers for you.”

Gina (as Ever):
“And what was that? Sorry! That's a personal question. I shouldn't have…”

Jannes (as Rake):
“It's alright. There's only one reason that people march with that level of purpose to the Temple of Nepthysaket.”

Gina (as Ever):
“I suppose you're right.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“It's alright. It's almost a rite of passage to go in and be disappointed by their priestesses. I went twice before I gave up on them.”

Gina (as Ever):
“And where did you go instead?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Well, and that is a story that's longer than we can have on these stairs, but…”

Gina:
I, … and I, I pull the shawl closer.

Gina (as Ever):
“It's quite, is it always so cold in here?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Yeah. Generally. Not for myself, but others seem to find it that way.”

Gina (as Ever):
“I'm sorry, I'm so rude.”

Gina:
And I'll hold out my hand,

Gina (as Ever):
“I'm Ever…”

Jannes:
I think you would see he's slightly taken aback by your name. And then he pauses.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Well, Ever, My name is Rake. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

Gina (as Ever):
“I-I…”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I won't keep you. I won't keep you, I understand. You have a fire in you right now, and it is important for you to go and let it burn. Go speak to the priestesses, hear what they have to say, how they speak in riddles without giving any answers. And then when you've had enough of their platitudes and their… coded sermons… Come find me at The Wayfinder's Lamp. I'll be there. And maybe I can give you some proper answers.”

Gina:
I think Ever just stands there, looking at him for a moment, at this person who's so… feeling himself so familiar with her, to just, seemingly in a place where people go in their grief or in their loss, to be so… forward. I'd like to use a move. I'd like to try and feel someone out.

Em:
Okay, amazing. So, when you try to feel out a person, place, or a thing, say what you want clarity about and answer one. The GM will give you the clarity you seek as they answer the other. So the two questions are, what feels welcoming on the surface? And the other is, what feels dark or unnerving as I peer deeper? What would you like to answer? Or first, what would you like clarity about? What do you want to feel out here?

Gina:
I think the thing that really stands out to me is, well, it's two things. One being that he'd said that he'd been here many times, and not gotten answers, and given up. And I think that there is something about him that feels… like loss, to me. And I think that that's what feels welcoming on the surface actually, the fact that he… he feels how I feel.

Em:
And what feels dark or unnerving as you peer deeper into this situation...

Jannes:
I think I can answer this one if you want.

Em:
Yeah, go for it.

Jannes:
Rake mentioned a fire that burns inside of you. And I think what you feel is like a fire, at this distance, it's warm and comforting. But I think the darkness underneath is that you see that this fire could very quickly consume, and this fire could very quickly destroy.

Em:
And to build from that, you feel that. And yet, his appearance, and his outward presentation, is calm, smooth, collected. Nothing like the grief you wear on your face, in your clothing, over your entire body, and your demeanor. If he has grief like you have grief, it is different. But it's there.

Gina:
I’ll look back to Rake, and just nod.

Gina (as Ever):
“Alright... The Wayfinder’s? Is that where I should, where you’ll be?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Yes, yes, The Wayfinder's Lamp. That's where I'm staying.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Alright.”

Jannes:
I think you would notice, that this entire time that you've been speaking with him, he has not looked away from your eyes. He has them locked. He has not shifted. He has not moved. And every time you catch his eye, you have the feeling that he's looking… through you.

Gina:
In Ever's mind, I think she's thinking, as he doesn't look away, he doesn't… He feels like… like the surface of the water when it's, it appears calm and still on the surface, but underneath it is a raging current.

Em:
An undertow.

Gina (as Ever):
“Are you alright?”

Jannes:
I think that makes Rake smile. It is a… it brings a warmth, and a softening to his face, that is unexpected, I think, for someone who, even with his smirk, was so… almost cold feeling. There's a moment where you see in that question almost a completely different person, and he smiles and it touches his eyes, and then almost as if you're viewing it in reverse, the smile leaves his eyes, and then leaves his mouth, and that smirk is back, and he says,

Jannes (as Rake):
“Of course. I found the answers that you're looking for.”

Gina (as Ever):
“And yet you're here, on these steps.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“It is possible for one person to change the world. It's much easier when you have… an ally.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Is that what you're looking for? An ally?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“To change the world. Yes. And I'm not looking for an ally. I've found one. You'll figure it out.”

Jannes:
And he reaches forward, and he adjusts your shawl on your shoulders, and he says,

Jannes (as Rake):
“Now I believe you have a... an appointment with a cat.”

Gina (as Ever):
“With- with… with a cat?”

Jannes:
He smiles again.

Jannes (as Rake):
“I will see you, at the inn?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I suppose so. Unless I get all the answers I'm looking for, which apparently... probably not very likely.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Who knows? You seem more charming than me. Maybe you'll have some luck.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Well, I should probably… go find that cat, then.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Don't keep me waiting too long. I don't want to get in my cups too much before you arrive.”

Gina:
I think that, Ever will just sort of… give a smile that's a combination of confusion, and amusement, and surprise at this very odd conversation on these steps, when she's all of the things that she has been through to get here to… just sort of shake her head, and smile and...

Gina (as Ever):
“Alright.”

Jannes:
I think he would see your smile, and he would say,

Jannes (as Rake):
“Ah… There's that sunshine. ‘Til later.”

Jannes:
And he would just turn on his heel, and you'd hear the click of the metal toe cap on his boots, as he makes his way away on the cobbled streets.

Gina:
I'll let him get just a few paces away, and then call out,

Gina (as Ever):
“You're very cryptic, you know.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“How so?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I'll tell you when I see you later.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Oh, I'm gonna like this game. ‘Til later.”

Em:
And off he goes.

Gina:
I would just stand there for another few moments, just going over that conversation in my head. Who is this person who… Is so odd… And to be so… Find a cat?

Em:
Hmm. And as you're running through that conversation, in your mind, you recognize the lamp. The phrase, The Lamp. Davos had made many trips to Glass during the war, primarily, to participate in war rooms, and strategy meetings, and many failed peace talks. Davos often talked about when he stayed at The Lamp, how the inn was exactly what he liked. He said it was calm, like the farmhouse. He liked its simplicity, and practicality.

Gina:
Well at least, it'll be nice to go to someplace that has some memory to it. See it for myself. Is it still cold here?

Em:
No. The cold is gone. It was as if a chill kind of crept its way up your back, and then faded just as quickly. Rowan looks up at you, and his eyeline shifts, looking at the direction where Rake walked through the crowd. This square is bustling. It is full of people. Yet… The path where he walked is still… bare. No one has filled that space yet. Not knowingly, but it strikes you as odd.

Gina:
I will, my hands will move to adjust the shawl, and remember how boldly he just reached out and... shift it. And remember that Verek's sister should be around here somewhere. Perhaps she can help me find... If there's a cat, if there's someone else… I remember that… that priestess had told me someone to search for. Perhaps Alisa will know where I'm supposed to go next. So, I'm gonna look around and see if I can find, or see anyone who matches that description, who looks like they would be part of Verek's family.

Em:
Okay, so you walk up to the temple doors, ascending the last few stairs and you step inside. As you broach the threshold, your senses almost begin to swim. It's a bit darker in here, with light spilling in through stained glass windows, before casting it onto the floor, and onto the opposing walls. There are simple pews of dark wood that line this first chamber that you come into, the main space, and you see these beautifully intricate mosaics and reliefs in the sandstone walls, depicting iconography of a black cat with bright gold eyes. You see words in a language you can't read, but you recognize from the book that Verek gave you, his family's prayer book, written in part in the language that all the priestesses here speak, and you assume that Verek's family also speaks. You see about ten priestesses, in this room alone, wearing robes of black with different amounts of gold embroidery and varying intricacy.

There are those who are younger, wearing more simple robes, doing tasks like directing visitors, sweeping floors, or answering questions. Acolytes, potentially. Some older, around your age, speaking directly with those who sit in the pews. Perhaps full priestesses. You do not see any who wear the robes like the priestesses you saw in the field, and none of them are fully veiled like those priestesses were. You can see all of these priestesses' faces. You don't see any with skin tone, or features matching Verek’s.

And then you see one seated at a small table at the front of the room. She looks, even though not in age, to be the most senior priestess here. The most embroidery in her gown, the most intricately braided hair. She looks to be about forty, with light blue skin, and silver grey hair that catches the light, almost making it look like platinum from where you stand. You can just barely see her horns, which curl down around her ears from behind and come forward across her jawline. They're bone white, and they're capped in silver. At the end. Capped in silver. Hmm. She wears small circular reading glasses, and she is writing. She looks to be in deep contemplation, taking a moment to think, and then writing more. Behind her, you see through an archway a large pool, that seems to be about sixty feet in diameter, set into the stone floor itself. There are steps that lead down into it, disappearing under the water's surface, and is encircled by large leafy plants of dark green, so dark it's almost black, and then mid-sized trees with similar leaves, bearing large fruit. They're not blood oranges. But the colour is within the same family, a deep scarlet red and orange, about the size of large papayas, which you've seen before. The water in the pool, however, is not clear. It's white. As if you're looking at a large pool of milk. There are some flower petals that float along the surface, and this rich smell of clove, heady florals, and spice wafts past your nose as you smell incense burning from sconces and censures throughout the room.

So what would you like to do?

Gina:
Seeing that cat, I think Ever would just laugh a little bit to herself, and then her eyes fall on the pool. I think I would… What does it smell… What does it smell like in here?

Em:
Hmm, it's like… A rich perfume. Incense spice, floral, clove. It is… almost overwhelming, but deeply pleasant.

Gina:
I think Ever is conflicted. There's a part of her that feels… comforted by these smells by the… feel of this place that almost… It reminds her of all of the incense she's made at home, and all of the simmer pots, and all of the ways in which she's kept the smell away. And, this feels familiar in that sense. Different. But… familiar in a way that allows her shoulders just to relax, just a bit. But then there is the realization that she is in this place where she is to get answers, and she's here for a purpose. She's not here to visit. She's not, she’s… So I'm going to, I think I'm going to act impulsively, and go to that woman with the blue skin and the silver capped horns, and just walk up to her, and probably interrupt whatever it is that she's doing and say,

Gina (as Ever):
“Excuse me I- I- I have some, some questions and I- I don't know who I should, who I should speak to.”

Em:
She looks up at you, startled, and then regards your face for a moment and… If you were expecting to see annoyance, there is none. There is almost a surveying of you, a quick insightful glance to clock what is going on the best she can.

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Well, I will try my best to give you answers, but I can't promise I have any. What can I do for you?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Sorry, no, I apologize. I, umm… I've traveled a long way.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“You look exhausted. Would you like to sit?”

Gina (as Ever):
“No, no, I… I don't know what order I should do this in. I ran into someone on the way here, and she told me, oh, gods, what was her name? A priestess… Belsolis? I think? She told me to take a, I think I was quite rude to her, but she told me to… I needed to take a bath before I… She said I needed to take a bath. And I have a lot of questions and I just, I don't have a lot of time. So I am hoping that I can do both of those things, and be on my way.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Well now I am going to get you a chair, because you've said many things in quick succession, and I would like to address all of them, but it might take a moment to do so. Is that alright?”

Em:
She's already waving her hand over, and you see a small, shorter priestess with peachy skin, red hair, and freckles, and short horns from the front of her head, come and bring up a chair that, and you know, she's pointed to the chair, and it's brought up to the table, and the woman sitting in front of you, who you are assuming is someone who outranks all of them, she goes,

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Thank you, Briseis, that will be all.”

Em:
And the red haired priestess bows and says,

Em (as Briseis):
“Of course, High Priestess, anything you like.”

Em:
And walks away. And she extends a hand, offering you a place to sit.

Gina (as Ever):
“No, I'm - I'm - You're very kind. No, I'm - I'm - I'm alright. I just, I don't - I don't need to sit. I need to…”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Take a bath.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Apparently, I…”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“And you spoke to… Priestess Belsolis?

Gina (as Ever):
“Belsolis, yes, that's... that is her name, yes.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“There is no Priestess Belsolis in our order at this time. That was the name of a priestess from eons gone by. She Who Spins the Stars. She gave great counsel to someone who dearly needed it when the world was at odds, and threatening to rip itself apart. But we currently do not have any Priestess Belsolis in our ranks. Hence why I am asking you to sit.”

Gina (as Ever):
“It's very possible I have mistaken the name, I-”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“What did she look like?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Well, she had very intricate robes, and long dark hair, curled hair, small horns… Golden eyes. She's quite beautiful. I apologize, that's about all I remember. I was…”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“And she was out in the fields with the Samat?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Yes.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Ahhh.”

Gina (as Ever):
“All of them were masked. Cloaked.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Yes, it is the work of our Samats to tend to the dead. They are there on the battlefields, and have been for the last three years.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Doing their work.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Hmm. We have sent all but two of our Samat to tend to the many, many conflicts that raged across the Cradle. It is our honour, and privilege, to hear the last wishes of those who did not have the opportunity to make them. And, if this priestess in the fields, with her intricate robes, and eyes that shine, told you to go for a swim, then who am I to refuse? You should be very grateful for the honour. I am High Priestess Zahara Cosmine. It is nice to meet you, Ever.”

Gina (as Ever):
“I think I gave you my… How do you know? How do you know my name?”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“We currently have no knowledge keeper. It is my job to know things. And sometimes, word gets sent ahead. We've been expecting you coming. Would you like to sit now?”

Gina:
When she says that she was expecting me, and she knows my name. And yet she was surprised that I have met the other priestess, Belsolis. I think I, I think I will… I suppose this is a move, right? To do as I'm told?

Em:
Yes it is.

Gina:
And I will sit.

Em:
Okay. So when you do as you're told, say how you show submission, and answer one. The GM will show you a glimpse of their true intentions as they answer the other. So you are showing submission by heeding her call to sit. And the two questions are, how are you rewarded? And what vulnerability do you reveal? This is my favorite of the mortal moves.

Gina:
I think I show two vulnerabilities. One being… That I am as exhausted, if not more than, as she sees. I'm so tired. I've made it here. But I think the other vulnerability that I reveal is that I… I'm suspicious that she has not told me everything. And that I have no other choice but to trust her. And so I do as I'm told.

Em:
Hmm. And to the other question, how are you rewarded? I think you are rewarded with deep compassion. Patience. And for someone who has helmed an entire religion through one of the most brutal wars of the recent rememberings, and helming the religion that has the most cleanup work to do following that war… She could have easily brushed you away. But she is ready to take time for you. Probably because the priestess in the field said that you needed to take a bath. And she's ready to give you that. Zahara looks back to the pool, and looks towards you.

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“It is called the Almuit Althani. Or the second sea. A long time ago, there was a larger one. Far, far away from where we are now, it doesn't even exist anymore, but it was the first one. The Emaq Bayda. A beautiful testament to the devotion of Her Grace to the people of this world. Most of the priestesses in this temple have to wait years before their first time in the pool, with hours of prayer and contemplation of the work and duty to Her Grace, and what it means to wear our colours, and the symbology. But you come in, with a fire in your belly, and a heaviness in your heart. You wear it all over you. If your pain had a voice, my dear, it would be screaming. So if you wish to have a swim, I would gladly let you.”

Gina:
Hearing all of that, how… special this pool is to this church, to these… people. I think as the priestess is speaking, she would see Ever growing more and more uncomfortable with this idea. Feeling the way that she's feeling, the anger and the… vengeance. There is no reverence in her for Nepthysaket right now. There hasn't been for some time, aside from perhaps a kernel of it. For Verek. Because it, because she means so much to him. But outside of that, the idea of getting in this pool… of it being something so... such an honour to them. I'll just brush some of the hair from my face and shift visibly uncomfortably in this chair and say...

Gina (as Ever):
“I didn't even know that this was... this seems awfully important and I… I don't think you want someone like me in there.”

Em:
She pauses for a moment.

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“On the contrary, I think you are the exact person who should be going in there. Because sometimes Her Grace wants to show you something. And this is how she does it. She sent you here.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Who?”

Em:
Zahara's eyes flick to the mosaic of the cat on the wall.

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“She wears many forms, but she always did prefer to walk amongst her people. She tried to show you something out there in the field, did she not?”

Gina:
Ever is quiet at that. You can see the thoughts passing over her face. Reliving the conversation.

Gina (as Ever):
“Why did she not go to war? Why… Why would she not…”

Em:
Zahara thinks about this long and hard. You see her deliberately going through the words.

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Her Grace chose not to go to war, because she knew that her work was elsewhere. We are priestesses. We do not have armies. We do not have droves of followers. Our worship is quiet, contemplative. We provide solace. At one of the most scary times in an individual's life. Most fear their own mortality. What is war? If not… a large show of that fear. We do not fear death. It is the closing of a chapter with another opening just after it. Her Grace had the foresight to know that if we went to war, there would be nobody left to do the work that was needed to be done afterwards. She's patient. She knew she had to wait. And with the casualties that amassed… thousands, for what? Her Grace had to ferry everyone. That is her job. That is her honour. And thus it is our honour to support her in that.

This pool... It is important because it is communion. You may not know or respect our traditions, but this is a gift, one we give freely, and I am offering to you freely now. You will need to let go. Allow yourself to let go. Swim down, as deep as you can. Amongst our youngest priestesses, when they are feeling scared, nervous, or uncertain. We encourage them to go on faith. And while you are not young, in age, or experience, I would offer you that same advice. Go on faith, Ever. And she will take care of you.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Has she ever chosen not to ferry someone? You say that if she went to war then there would be no one to do the work, and that the work is to ferry. But that must also mean that she… She has to choose. She has to choose. Right? It has… she is not just a... a chauffeur, she's not… for someone who refuses to go to war, and has the luxury of being patient. She must have more power than... than just that.”

Em:
There is a moment, I think, where you see Zahara, the High Priestess, and she realizes something. Ithink she realizes that no matter what answer she gives you, it will not sate you. And that, even though she is the high priestess, her knowledge has limits. She smiles softly.

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Well, it seems you have two options. Take up the robes. Spend your life reading the scripture. In prayer, with the hopes of understanding someday. Or go for a bath.”

Gina (as Ever)[brimming with tears]:
“Why is it that whenever I ask these types of questions it's always… Do you not know the answer? I don’t- I don't mean to be rude. I understand that you are offering me something that… for your priestesses must be a great honour. And I, I, if, if what you are telling me is that if I get in that pool, if I go for a swim, that all of my questions will be answered and that he will come-”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Ahh. I do not have all the answers. I am still young. I have much to learn. And I am not Her Grace.”

Gina (as Ever):
“No, she couldn't give me the answers either.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Perhaps you are not asking the right questions. You have lost someone. Very important to you. That is very clear. And you're angry.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Why is it that every time I ask for answers, I look for answers, I’m… the answer is always ‘you're angry’. I am angry.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“And it is perhaps because of that anger I don't wish to give you the wrong answer. I don't wish to placate you, or lie to you, or try to give you an answer that I may believe to be true, but is not.”

Gina (as Ever):
“And what could this... What could this pool do for me that… It’s just more… It’s just more riddles.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“You might be right. But they are gods. And we are mortals. So we do our best. No one is perfect. Not even the divine.”

Gina:
Hearing that, ‘no one is perfect, not even the divine’. That feels like an admission of guilt. I'm going to stand up from the chair.

Em:
She stands up with you.

Gina:
I'll wipe my face.

Gina (as Ever):
“This was…”

Gina:
And, Ever's, she's avoiding eye contact.

Gina (as Ever):
“This was quite informative, thank you. I, appreciate your, your time, Priestess.”

Gina:
and I, look to her and look her in the eyes, and she'll see the... Just a moment, that... Screaming grief... So plainly on her face, and then the sudden shift into...

Gina (as Ever):
“I think I should go. Thank you.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Are you sure?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I appreciate the offer. It's very kind of you to give me the opportunity.”

Em (as High Priestess Zahara Cosmine):
“Consider it a standing one. You are welcome back anytime. And it is my wish that your heart finds solace. And may you go in the light of Her Grace.”

Gina:
I'll just give a courteous nod. And turn, and walk quickly out of the temple.

Em:
Okay. As you walk outside. The smell, the light, everything comes back to normal and you are standing outside, on a regular day, in Glass. What would you like to do?

Gina:
I think as soon as she steps out of the doors and onto the steps, she, just all of the emotion sort of hits her at once, and she just sort of begins to cry a little bit to herself. Not wanting to make a scene in front of all of these strangers in this very busy city, but just…

Em:
If there was ever a temple to leave crying, it would be this one.

Gina:
I'm going to sit on the steps. And that feeling of certainty that I had gotten before, before I made it into the city, that feeling of knowing exactly where I was supposed to go, feels so false now, and I think I'm going to… pray for guidance. Why?

Em:
Hmm.

Gina:
Why did I think I needed to come here if all I... If all I got was more riddles?

Em:
So, when you pray for guidance, name the aid you seek, which you have, clarity. And answer one, the GM will describe the aid that actually comes as they answer the other. So there's two questions. What kind of God answers your prayers and what clear omens or what unclear omens or visions besiege me?

Gina:
I think the unclear… Was he an omen? Was he a vision, this man on the steps who… Rake. Was it him I was supposed to meet? Or was it the pool? Was I supposed to go in that pool? What was I supposed to do? It doesn't seem… clear. I just feel lost right now.

Em:
So the other question, what kind of God answers your prayers? As you sit down on the step, reaching out, hoping to get something back. A cart rolls by. And there is a spoke broken. And you hear it as it moves around as the cart drives through, and as it moves it sounds like the clicking of Rake’s boots. As your eyes kind of instinctively drift up, looking towards that path that he walked across the square. you see a raven perched on a rooftop. Dark, inky black, with purples and greens reflected through the feathers. It's large. And hear that throaty, deep caw. Three times. As it turns its head in your direction, picks up and flies away.

Gina:
I’m going to think about the sound of those boots walking away from me, that strange, that strange conversation. How does he know me? And the way that he looked at me, it's like, he… He was right. Only more riddles. I will gather myself. Where did that bird fly off to? Was it unusually large?

Em:
Yes. It took off in the same direction that he walked.

Gina:
I’m going to pick up Rowan, put him in my lap just… for a moment. Wanting to feel another warm body, give him a little hug.

Gina (as Ever):
“Thank you.”

Gina:
I say to him.

Gina (as Ever):
“Thank you for being here with me. I’m sorry I dragged you so far from home.”

Em:
If a fox could raise their brows, he would. A look that says, ‘where else was I going to go?’ He nuzzles in for a second, and then begins to scamper up over your shoulder and into your bag. And he kind of rests his head on your shoulder.

Gina:
I’m going to take one last look around to see if I can find anyone who looks like Alisa.

Em:
You don't see anyone.

Gina:
She's probably inside. I don’t want to go back in. At least right now. Plus I'm not really in any sort of state to make a good first impression. So… I do want to go to The Wayfinder’s Lamp, but… What time of day is it?

Em:
It’s probably about… middle of the afternoon at this point. Just before dinner.

Gina:
I think I'm going to walk in that direction, in the direction that Rake walked in, and that the raven flew in, and that I know The Wayfinder to be in. But I'm not going to go there just yet. I also remember Davos telling me about a… a small shop where he would he would always bring me notebooks from this place, custom ones with my initials on the front

Em:
Hmm.

Gina:
And I'd like to see if I can find that place. I don't remember the name of it, but I feel like I would know it if I saw it.

Em:
So when you walked through the gates of Glass, and made your way from the Outer Ring, the Fourth District, to the Chime District, which is the inner district. You saw that most of the shops and taverns and stores were in the Second District, which is where you're assuming potentially The Lamp is as well. So that might be a two birds, one stone situation.

Gina:
And I want to go there not only because it's a place of memory, but because I so desperately want to just connect with him. In this place where… I never got to go here with him. And I don't want my last. I don't want the last time I think of him here to be in there. So… I need something good.

Em:
So as our gaze follows Ever, walking off away from the Chime, and into the Second District, potentially attempting to lose herself amongst the market stalls, searching for glimpses of Davos, we'll step back a bit.

Rake, as you turn and walk away, you know she languishes there for a moment before going inside. And even though it's far, you know when that door closes, because you feel that strong wave of abjurative magic push you back, quickening your step further and further from Temple Lybica. This is maybe the strongest you've ever felt it, the barring from any place associated with Nepthysaket. What has she told you about why she holds such a strong feeling against Nepthysaket? How much do you know?

Jannes:
I think everything that Rake knows about their relationship, and why it is so strained, is stuff that he has learned through piecing together small parts here and there. I think it's, it was never explicitly explained. I think it's like inferences. And I think his general… vibe is that of a similar one to him of a betrayal of someone who you are close with.

Em:
Hmm.

Jannes:
I think it is one of the kind of anger and hatred that can only be born of what was once love.

Em:
Hmm.

Jannes:
And I think… That is something he innately understands.

Em:
Okay. And has she told you anything about who you are otherwise? The other part of yourself? That she needed?

Jannes:
I don't think so. I don't think he's aware. I think he knows that… just because of his differences from the people that he's met, that he is different. I think he's always known, even before everything happened, that he was marked in some way. But I don't know if he, I don't think he thinks that there's any, any purpose to it outside of the goals that she's made apparent.

Em:
No weight beyond what she needed of you. No weight beyond what she required.

Jannes:
There is no ending for him. There is no deed that can be done that releases him from his bond. This is, and will be forever, his life. And so I think… To him, there's a sort of pointlessness in trying to figure out his purpose, as it is inevitable to him to either achieve it or die in the process. So I think for him… It's kind of the age old thing of like, if you could know how you die would you choose to? And for him he knows he dies in service, and so for him there's no point in trying to figure out the minutiae of that.

Em:
Or all the stuff in between.

Jannes:
Yeah, because he is very limited in his ability to make choices for himself. Which I think is why we see… What we see now, which is those brief moments where he is left to his own devices, he chooses to enjoy himself.

Em:
Hmm. And that's what your mind bounces between. The enjoyment that you have every time you're not working. Not on a job, not at her call. And as you're walking through the streets of Glass, it's hard not to notice how much Glass has changed since the last time you were here. How long ago do you think you were here? And what's different about it?

Jannes:
I think it's been a while since he's been here. A couple of years at least. I think with it being the seat of many of the Gods' power, it's a place he doesn't enjoy coming.

Em:
Hmm.

Jannes:
The power of the Gods is always visible to the people who live there, but to him… it's stifling. And there is a active competition. It's like one of the moves. I forget exactly which one. I think it's… I think it's Identify a God, where if you overkill, the God can feel you encroach on their space. And I feel-

Em:
Your divinity starts trespassing against theirs.

Jannes:
And I feel like that is just generally the vibe he has when he's here, that his mere presence is encroaching on their divinity, and there's this sort of constant push against him from all directions. Specifically from Nepthysaket, but… He's not well liked by any.

Em:
Certainly not.

Jannes:
And I think as you see him move through the street. Ever saw it as a path that people didn't step. But I think it's different than that. I think it's almost as if he moves into spaces before those spaces are obvious to normal people. It's as almost as if gaps open as he's already started moving into them. And it's not that people are moving out of his way, but rather he's almost able to infer where those gaps will open, and he moves through a crowd like wind through the cracks in a house.

Em:
Hmmm.

Jannes:
And I think he's moving through Glass, he knows he has some time because he knows how those priestesses like to waffle. He knows he has some time, and I think he's trying to, with it having been a couple years since he's been in Glass, he's trying to get a vibe of the city. He's trying to sort of… feel out what the temperature is here with the war and everything that's happening. And… I think it occurs to him that maybe it would be worthwhile to see if he could touch base with any of the contacts he had here before.

Em:
So you turn your way, you're pushed away from the Chime District and you enter into the Second. If the Chime District houses most of the lavish establishments with people for coin to burn, the second district has everything else. And those people you would probably be looking for would at least be in this portion at some point. Temples to most of the rest of the minor Gods, save four, and all of the actual good taverns that are more your speed anyway. While the selection of things to purchase and enjoy is not as diversified as Hood, you can basically find whatever suits your fancy here in the Second Ring. Now, you've stayed at The Lamp many times. You have a standing room there. It's quiet, dark, simpler. There's good food and drink. Nobody tends to ask any questions. Especially about the back rooms for hire. So you start making your way towards The Lamp, hearing the click of your boots, which becomes a automatic sound for you. And you hear a voice call from behind you.

Em (as Drifter Ryland Arno):
“I didn't think you travelled this far north.”

Jannes:
Do I recognize the voice?

Em:
You do. You turn around and you see a familiar face. Drifter Ryland Arno, the High Priest of Soevan, from Hood. A tall, broad, but lean man, built like a swimmer, short, curly red hair that kind of sits in a bit of a mop on the top of his head. Angular chin and jaw with pale skin and a smattering of freckles. Bright, hazel eyes. Usually decked out in more ornate robes, but here seems to be wearing travelling clothes. Maroons with lilac, and silver embroidery. You see him probably about twenty feet from you as he starts to walk towards you.

Jannes (as Rake):
“It has been a long time since I've been up here, but it is good to see a familiar face.”

Em (as Drifter):
“I was going to say, I wondered what brought you this far.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Same thing that brings me everywhere, my friend. A good time.”

Em (as Drifter):
“And the work, that you talk about so… rarely.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Ohhh, that always comes secondary to a good time, my friend, you know that.”

Em (as Drifter):
“I do.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“What brings you here?”

Em (as Drifter):
“The work.”

Em:
And you see him gesture down, probably about half a block away, you see probably three heavily armoured individuals moving a very full cart through the city streets. You see the cart is filled with wooden boxes and pallets of what seem to be bottles. You seem to be seeing a transportation of medicine into Glass.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Are things dire here? That they need that amount of medicine?”

Em (as Drifter):
“They are dire everywhere, my friend.”

Em:
And you watch as Drifter looks over you. It gives you a good scan. It has been some time since you've seen him, probably about six months.

Em (as Drifter):
“You look like something is off about you, Rake, and I ask only because it is my mother's purview. When was the last time you had a proper sleep?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I don't know, that's a good question. Could have been a while now. Hard to keep track.”

Em (as Drifter):
“Well, you look exhausted. And I may not know much about what is left of the Cradle, but I do know sleep.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Well, I'll take that as a compliment, I guess. But, unless you have something to help me sleep in that palette of yours, I guess I'll just have to resort to the husk as I usually do.”

Em:
You see a look of concern across his face, and he sighs a little bit.

Em (as Drifter):
“Look. I know I said I wouldn't anymore. But it's better than those fucking husks.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“You're right, it is much better.”

Em (as Drifter):
“I've got one last one that I can spare. Use it wisely, there's two doses in there, the rest is otherwise allocated and already shipped out.”

Jannes:
I think that Rake is slightly taken aback. He has purchased many a substance before, but rarely have they been so freely gifted by someone, with what appears to be genuine care for his well-being. He is very much tolerated, and in some cases, feared, by those he comes in contact with, but genuine concern is not something he is overly accustomed to. And I think that sets off a little… ding in the back of his mind. And I would like to use a move.

Em:
Go ahead.

Jannes:
I would like to use the move, Recognize a God.

Em:
Okay. So. When you want to recognize the signs or influence of a God of the Cradle, roll 2D6, and you're gonna add one for each true statement. You're in or near their domain. No. You're familiar with their gospel. Yes. As someone who spends a lot of time in Hood, you would be very, very familiar with the gospel of Soevan, the Lucid Mother. And it would be bad if you didn't know? No, it wouldn't necessarily be bad if you didn't know. So that's a plus one.

Jannes:
I rolled a five and a two, plus one, would be a total of eight.

Em:
Okay. So on a hit, the GM will give you a clear interpretation of the omens, and you may ask your GM one single follow-up question, which they must answer honestly. So you're right. You have taken many, many substances over the course of your life, some simply for enjoyment, some out of curiosity, but most out of a need for escape. As he finishes speaking, he pulls out this small vial with an ornate stopper from his pocket, and you see a swirling light purple liquid inside, moving even though that the vial is now still in his hand. This is drift, a precious commodity since the war ended. There's very little of it left in Hood, and what has been transported is often directly earmarked for healers and clerics. What he's offering you is a tremendous gift. And from here… You harken back to a moment ago where he said ‘my mother’. Now, Soevan is often colloquially termed the Lucid Mother, one of her epithets. But the way he said it was different. And you may ask me one question that I will answer honestly.

Jannes:
Does he know who I am?

Em:
He does not.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Well, this is a mighty, mighty gift. Thank you very much.”

Em:
He extends the vial of drift towards you. And as you take it, I think there's a moment where your mind races remembering about how good the substance feels. And Arno kind of gives you a shrug.

Em (as Drifter):
“Perhaps this time you'll get to speak to her. I've put in a good word for you, and I know you have questions. You have enough in there to try twice. Or you can take another with you. We've been experimenting, about taking doses from the same source at the same time. It's been promising. More exploration of her realm, and not necessarily having to go it alone.”

Jannes:
And I think my reply… Using the same hint that I heard in the way that he said ‘mother’, my reply would be heavy with that same tone when I say,

Jannes (as Rake):
“Well, tell your mother that I say thank you.”

Jannes:
And I would fix him with a look… A look that a predator would give of not a threat, but just a… an honest representation of what I am capable of.

Em:
There is a demeanor shift in him. This had been friendly, and cordial, and now that the drift is in your hand, the tone has shifted. And you see him kind of nod.

Em (as Drifter):
“All right, well, if that's the way it is, then… I'm glad my kindness got you what you wanted. Take care of yourself, Rake. And I'm sure I'll see you back in Hood sometime.”

Jannes:
And that look would disappear, and be replaced with the same easy, charming smile that he is used to.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Of course, I cannot wait. We will share a drink when I return to Hood. And you can tell me of your travel back.”

Em (as Drifter):
“Sure. Alright.”

Em:
As he lifts a hand and he turns, placing a hand on the amulet that he wears at his waist. You see him start walking away, back towards the armoured individuals and their cart.

Jannes:
I think Rake watches him go the whole time and there is a… I think he feels sort of a burning anger in him at the idea that someone would think that they could do him a favour as if they were somehow… Reaching down to someone below them to help them. And he would pocket it, and I think at that point he would notice the large raven fly overhead, and he would nod, and he would make his way to the inn.

Em:
Okay. So as you turn around to follow the raven, Rake, you hear something clatter to the ground, onto the cobblestone behind you, very, very close to you. You look down and you realize your knife, the knife, has fallen out of your jacket a few feet from you. You don't remember putting your knife in your jacket, or also now how it would have fallen that far from you, with the way you were moving. And before you clock what's happening, you see someone reaching down to pick it up. You see a shorter human figure with no hair nor eyebrows, warm brown skin, kind eyes, and hands that look like they have seen work. They're wearing simple clothes, and as you watch them do what they're doing, your eyes kinda seem to glaze over them. You wouldn't be able to pick this person out of a crowd at all. They look like simultaneously everyone and no one. And their hand wraps around the knife. Your knife.

Jannes:
How many people are around?

Em:
Probably about fifty. And they stand up. And they look up to you. Their eyes locked with yours, and they regard you with this kind of wonder, almost this kind of childlike wonder. As they turn the knife over in their hands, both of them, and extend it over to you.

Em (as Unknown):
“Oh, it looks like you dropped this.”

[Light & Dark: Series Theme by Sean McRoberts]

Em:
Godkiller: Balance is performed by Em Carlson, Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. This season’s dramaturge is Tim Carlson. Special thanks to our campaign artist, Mischi, who you can find @Mischiart on twitter! Our main theme for this episode, Light & Dark, was composed by Sean McRoberts. Character and location leitmotifs composed by Si Rutherford of Sounds of Adventure. Music and effects by Epidemic Sound. Cartography for this series by Chaim Holtjer of Chaim’s Cartography. For more stories, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. To play your own campaign of Godkiller and dive into your own divinity, go support Godkiller by purchasing the ashcan on itch.io today, with the print version published soon by Evil Hat Productions. This show is made possible by our sponsors who graciously support us playing pretend and having feelings about it. We are grateful to be sponsored by Heroforge, who offer fully customizable miniatures made with their online 3D character creator! Head on over and design your own Godkiller, and get them printed in a variety of materials, including colour printing options! With new content added each week, check out www.heroforge.com to start bringing your character to life! This show is also proudly sponsored by Moonbeam, a better and safer way to stream! Dive into Realms for vibrant community hubs where creators keep 100% of what they earn while protected by Pyxis, a revolutionary moderation tool that learns and adapts to your boundaries. So check them out and join Moonbeam today! Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our second journey through the Cradle. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Godkiller bonus content and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. See you next time, heretics, and to all the gods out there, be safe!