BlackwaterDnD

Em:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Balance, is a miniseries using the Powered by the Apocalypse system, Godkiller, which was created by Connie Chang, now available on Itch.io for purchase, and is proudly sponsored by Hero Forge and Moonbeam. This tale takes us back, long before the end of the universe, to a time when we begin to explore & understand old divine wounds that run so very deep, and what happens when love is caught in the middle. This story encouraged us as creators to strive for genuine emotion and connection, relish the space we create at the table, and take big swings with the way we approached our narrative. For this story, your GOD, everyone else, and the thrum of the Cradle, is myself, Em Carlson, and my GODKILLERs are played by Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. As this game falls within a holypunk and dark fantasy genre, it may contain themes and depictions that are triggering for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and access safe support as you see fit.

Content warnings for this episode include: grief // loss // allusions to pre-meditated murder // parent-child conflict // betrayal // romance // heartbreak

So sit back and relax, heretics. And welcome to Godkiller: Balance.

Episode 6: Finding

[BANG BANG BANG]

Em:
As you knock, Rake, you hear the sound of a kettle whistling inside and someone puttering around. You hear small scuffling. You hear,

Em (as Tayo):
“Come in, [STATIC] and Ever. Tea will be ready shortly. Make yourselves comfortable.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I told you, they're very strange.”

Em:
Do you try the door and go inside?

Jannes:
Yeah, I would try the door. I feel like that was invite enough.

Em:
Unlocked. You go in, and you see a sparsely appointed living quarters. It is two rooms, just as the map showed, with the main area having a low table, with a surrounding seating area on the floor, with a couple pillows and a rug, and a kitchen area. The kettle is whistling and there are three handleless teacups set on the counter.

Jannes:
Now, importantly, I open the door,

Em:
Mmhmm.

Jannes:
And I hold it open for Ever, to walk in first.

Em:
Mmhmm.

Jannes:
And as she passes, I place my hand on the small of her back as she goes by, and then follow her through.

Em:
Okay. The room is set as if they were anticipating your company. Perhaps that prayer for guidance. The door to the second room, which would likely be a bedroom of some kind, is mostly closed. The windows have simple curtains and they are open, which lets some of the breeze flow through. It's quiet, peaceful. You hear them call.

Em (as Tayo):
“Pour the tea into the pot, please. I will be out when the tea leaves are steep.”

Em:
There are no decorations or adornments. No personalizations to this place. It looks like someone lives here, but it does not look lived in. It could have been fully unoccupied a day ago and there would barely be a noticeable difference. One thing you do notice, however, is that perched on the pillows on the floor is Rowan. A small yip and he runs over to you, curling around your legs immediately.

Gina (as Ever):
“Oh, Rowan! I thought I'd lost you!”

Gina:
And I scoop him up.

Em:
Oh, lots of face licks, and that sweet chittering that foxes do when they're excited, as he begins to curl into your arms.

Jannes (as Rake):
“He truly is the God of the Lost, eh?”

Em:
What would you like to do?

Jannes:
I would do as I'm told, and, um, wait for the water to boil.

Em:
Okay. Would you like to use the move, do as you're told?

Jannes:
Oh, yeah, definitely.

Em:
Wonderful. So when you do as you're told, we'll say how you show submission and answer one, which you have. The GM will show you a glimpse of their true intentions as they answer the other. The two questions are, how are you rewarded? And the second is, what vulnerability do you reveal?

Jannes:
I think the vulnerability that he shows… Is that, he knows that Tayo has been aware of them, since that prayer to them. And… I think that… Rake's admittance to himself about his feelings for Ever, is just about the biggest vulnerability that Rake's ever had. And… The way they walk through the door, and I'm sure the way that they will interact throughout the entire meeting with Tayo, I think that is very obvious. At this moment.

Em:
Okay. How are you rewarded? You go, and you take the kettle off of the stove. Steam rushing out, the whistling stopping, and you pour the boiling water into the teapot. And as the water hits the tea leaves, you are greeted with a familiar scent. It smells like the tea your father used to drink. So you know exactly how long it needs to be steeped. A reminder. A kindness. Of something that is lost.

Jannes:
I think Rake smiles to himself. Big enough that even Ever can catch it, and he closes his eyes, and he hears wood being chopped outside, as his dad gets, wood ready for the stove. And for a moment, he feels a different hand, aside from his mother, is guiding his path.

Em:
Hmm. You let the water sit in the teapot, letting it stand. And... You don't really know how long it is, but, could have been a few moments. You hear the door to the other room open, and that same being you met in the streets, Rake, emerges. A shorter human figure, with no hair or eyebrows. Warm, smooth brown skin, with some freckles across the bridge of their nose, now that you see that you are a bit closer, and not as full of panic and fear and rage. Kind blue eyes. You imagine that that's what colour blue the ocean is, like the ocean you saw in the Dreamscape. That's what color the ocean was, maybe at some point in history. Hands that have seen work. Rough, and calluses that are well smoothed over. These hands have made things. Millennia upon millennia of making things. Gone are the workers clothes that you saw, and they are replaced with a wrapped robe, the color of clay and gravel and sand. Earthen tones. They stop, and look back and forth between the two of you, as if the lost in thought for a moment. And then they remember that first order of business.

Em (as Tayo):
“Tea and conversation, then to your purpose and why you are truly here. Sit, please.”

Em:
They move to the teapot, and it is so graceful. They pick up the setting and the teacups are moved and arranged on the low table between you. They kneel down and gesture for you to join them. Tea is poured in a smooth motion across the cups. The pot is placed down. They seem to delight in the small things, they pick up the teapot one more time, and place it down again, to hear the shifting of the water in the pot and the sound of the porcelain coming into contact with the soft wood of the table. As you kneel to join them.

Em (as Tayo):
“I am glad you've figured out how to use the map. It is yours to keep. I learned map making recently, so I would delight in practicing again.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Thank you. That is greatly appreciated. Um, I haven't introduced you, Tayo, this is Ever. Ever, this is Tayo.”

Em (as Tayo):
“It is a pleasure, Ever Halassian.”

Gina (as Ever):
“How do they…”

Em (as Tayo):
“Or, Ever Cawthorne? Which do you prefer?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Halassian.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Halassian. Well, welcome.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Thank you for, for finding Rowan.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Oh, Rowan. Rowan found me. Sometimes I find lost things, and sometimes lost things find me. So, I can't really be sure which of the two it is, but in any case, I am glad that you are glad.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Yes, Rake, Rake said you were quite good at finding lost things.”

Em (as Tayo):
“There is a reason they call me The Lost. I am not lost. I left. They call me The Lost because no one could fathom a god choosing to walk away from those who worship them. I feel for my speaker, my Hand of Humanity. He focuses on the wrong things, I think. But to reveal myself to him, other than the brief moments I have, would give him hope that I am coming back, which, if I am to understand why you are here,”

Em:
And they look to you, Rake,

Em (as Tayo):
“Would likely be a grievous error on my part. And everyone makes mistakes, though.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Why did you... Why did you leave?”

Em (as Tayo):
“The spark. At the beginning of the universe is magic incarnate, was magic incarnate, the Weave not yet woven. So I was made to do just that. To create. There was too much to make on my own, so I created my children. For help, really. Gave them things to be proud of, and domains to make their own. It was all about keeping the balance, keeping things even. For light to flourish, we needed darkness. For the heavens, we needed the hells. For the wilds, innovation and civilization. And they had these, and they were happy. But then they became lonely, so I made them mortals. Because like all beings, they wished to be loved. And it would be impossible for me to do all of that loving alone. I left because they are scared, and they have resorted to killing each other. And truly, it is their own fault. They did not think to prepare for a time when they would no longer exist, or no longer be needed. They did not plan for it. That is not my failing. So now they scramble. The river is drying up, an unfortunate but understandable consequence. Not everything gets it right all the time.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“How, how did you leave? How is it possible to just… break those commitments?”

Em (as Tayo):
“I became like the mortals I created for my children. I hid myself amongst all of you. I have been everywhere while trying to be nowhere. My children are at each other's throats, they cannot seem to find peace and stillness with each other. They have forgotten the joy of creating things. And their children, mortals by extension, are scared, tired, and they grasp for anything that will bring them hope, even if it is a lie. I do not lie. I gave that job to another. But, I have been here,”

Em:
And they look around the room.

Em (as Tayo):
“For some time. Though my concept of that is likely different than yours. I have walked many places through many ages, and I cannot pick which one I liked the best. But I have settled here more often than not, because in this place, in this room, I think, someone great will learn who they are. So even though I may not be here for long, I would like to surround myself in the potential, the anticipation of that, before it comes. To be honest, it was easy to walk away.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Do they, do they know you’re here?”

Em (as Tayo):
“No. No, they do not. I created them. The magic was gifted to me. I cannot imagine how many would try and take that from me.”

Gina (as Ever):
“I, I'm sorry, I don't mean the mortals, I mean… The other gods?”

Em (as Tayo):
“Yes. And my answer is the same.”

Gina (as Ever):
“How, how do you hide yourself from them?”

Jannes:
And as I ask that question, I glance over at Rake.

Em (as Tayo):
“I created every god… With a downfall. With an aspect of themselves that they must hide, in order to keep themselves safe. So, extending that logic, I completely cloaked myself from them. And I did that upon the inception and their creation, that at any time I could step away. Because I am not their keepers.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Forgive me if this is… An impertinent question, but could you, is it possible to… Would you be able to hide someone from someone else?”

Em (as Tayo):
“I have never tried. It does not mean it is impossible, it simply means I have never tried. You want someone to truly become lost?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Not... Not lost. Free.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Are not those two things one in the same? The ability to go wherever, move however.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Tayo?”

Em (as Tayo):
“Yes?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“You know who I am.”

Em (as Tayo):
“I do. I would say your name, but I heard what happened when I did. So I will not insult you by saying it again. It took me a moment, when I met you in the street, but then I thought about it and I realized. Can I see your knife again? I haven't stopped thinking about it. I helped make the first ones. The first Eutochian blade, I helped make it. But this one is different.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“It is.”

Em (as Tayo):
“How is it made? I create. That is what I do. But I did not create that.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“You did not.”

Jannes:
I would look at Ever, scared, scared to say how it was made. And then I would…I would catch her eye. And I think in his head he thinks… That maybe if she hears it… It will be enough to make her leave.

Jannes (as Rake):
“It was made by… I need to be certain that… She can't hear us, while I'm here. Does your protection extend to me? At this moment?”

Em (as Tayo):
“This place is protected. Cloaked entirely.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Okay.”

Em (as Tayo):
“That is why, I think, your kit disappeared so quickly. It knew to get lost.

Jannes (as Rake):
“It was made by... my mother.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Ah.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“She… She met my father, who was... Eutoches.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Avisan.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Yes. And, she… She bore his child, myself. And… When I was old enough, she returned. She had with her, his knife.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Your father's.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“My father's. She had used it to kill Buloch, God of Lies, using the blood of the God of Lies. She then killed my father, exposing the blade to the blood of the Eutoches. And then where my brand was, she branded me anew.

Em (as Tayo):
“She took your name.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“She took my name. The blade is imbued… By Buloch, Archeveleon…”

Em (as Tayo):
“And herself.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“And herself.”

Jannes:
And I would look over at Ever.

Jannes (as Rake):
“I'm so sorry. When she sent me to find you… I didn't know it would be like this. I have not had hope in so long, that I did not expect to find it here.”

Jannes:
And I would take out the knife, and I would hand it to… To them.

Em:
Tayo takes the knife from you, holding it with reverence. And you see, for a moment, as they run their hand across it… You see their eye twitch, and there is a second where you see it revert black back to the blade that you found. Your father's blade. And then it's gone, and it's back again.

Em (as Tayo):
“She has created something very strong. I cannot undo it. I'm sorry. The blade cannot be undone. Show me your brand.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Alright.”

Em:
And they see your face.

Em (as Tayo):
“But only if you wish.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“No, it's... It's alright.”

Jannes:
And I would stand and... lift my shirt. Ever, you would see very similar to the mark you saw in your hand in the dream, you would see made of the same kind of blackness. A raven's feather.

Em (as Tayo):
“May I?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Of course.”

Em:
They reach their hand out, placing one finger in the middle of your solar plexus, and attempt to brush out… I don't know if you've ever seen someone work clay. Smoothing of a texture, smoothing a corner. And there is a second. One swipe, the raven's feather retreats. And it is just the inky black chasm. A second swipe, and it is gone. Your skin unmarked.

Jannes:
I think Rake lets out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Before it comes back, what's my name?”

Em:
Tayo looks at you, straight in the eye.

Em (as Tayo):
“Rhys. Rhys.”

Em:
And they hold that, they keep their thumb pressed against your skin, and you feel a white hot heat, as they instinctually pull their hand back. The chasm, the raven’s feather.

Jannes:
Do I remember it?

Em:
You do.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Thank you.”

Em (as Tayo):
“I find lost things.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“What do we do?”

Em (as Tayo):
“You are both dualities.”

Em:
They look to you, Ever.

Em (as Tayo):
“You hold the lightness so close to you, but the darkness drags you like an anchor.”

Em:
They look back at you, Rake.

Em (as Tayo):
“You hide in the shadow, because you're terrified of what the light shows you. And you're terrified of her. And who you truly are. You've never feared anything like you fear her.”

Jannes:
And I think in that moment, Rake assumes they speak of his mother, but there's a part of him that wonders if they're talking about Ever.

Em:
They look back at you, Ever, once more.

Em (as Tayo):
“You fear him, because despite the fact that he terrifies you, he understands you, and that terrifies you more. Because there's a part of you that you don't understand, but somehow he does. And you've never been seen by anyone like that. If I have seen anything in my wanderings and my time, fear is a very powerful motivator, but it is not as strong as love. I know why you came here. I have put it together. I know what your mother asks you to do, and why she wished for Ever. Do you know why your mother hates Nepthysaket so much?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I know it is a hatred born of love. But I do not know more than that.”

Em (as Tayo):
“A very long time ago, your mother, Rake, was betrayed. By essentially her speaker, her high priestess. Stabbed in the back, by a blade corrupted, not unlike that one. It fractured her. Caused her undoing. This high priestess had a younger sister, who could not bear the weight of her sister's act, and attempted to save your mother. By pushing her somewhere, anywhere, other than stay on the material plane and face her own death. It is unfortunate that the place that this young, unexperienced sister sent her, would play a huge part in her own undoing. It was not somewhere quite unlike where she lives now, Rake. But louder, darker. Vengeful. And your mother sat there for twenty three hundred years. With nothing but her own anger and vengeance. And in her stead, that little sister became the goddess you hate so much, Ever. To atone for wrongdoings of her sister. I say this because I cannot lie. Ever, you are wrong. She does not choose. Nepthysaket does not choose.”

Gina (as Ever):
“That’s impo-”

Em (as Tayo):
“She simply ferries the souls.”

Gina (as Ever):
“That’s imp- that’s impossible… She has to choose. That's what she does. You're wrong. You have to be wrong.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Why? Why do I have to be wrong?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Because if she doesn't choose, then… Then what power do we have in it? And it all just happens, then. If there's no one there to decide then… Then it, then it… Then what does it mean?”

Em (as Tayo):
“It means… That we must learn to manage our grief. So it does not rot and turn to vengeance.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“That aside though… If Ever doesn't kill Nepthysaket, my mother will surely kill her. There is no path for us that does not lead to Nepthysaket's death.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Have you spoken? To Nepthysaket, about this?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“She would not intervene against my mother.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Have you spoken to Nepthysaket?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I’m… Not allowed to enter any of the holy places.”

Em (as Tayo):
“This is unsurprising to me.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Me too.”

Em:
They look to you, Ever.

Gina:
I will wipe the tears from my face. And I look to you, Rake.

Gina (as Ever):
“She did all this to you?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Yes. She did.”

Gina (as Ever):
“What do you want?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“What do I want?”

Em (as Tayo):
“I suspect it has been a very long time since someone asked you what you want.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“It has. So long in fact that I… I haven't been given much thought. I… I want you safe, Ever. I, I cannot be saved.”

Gina (as Ever):
“How do you know that?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Not even Tayo can undo what my mother has done.”

Gina:
I look back to Tayo.

Gina (as Ever):
“What would it take?”

Em (as Tayo):
“To undo?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Yes.”

Em (as Tayo):
“I cannot. I cannot take this, which he has now. I create. I do not destroy.”

Gina (as Ever):
“But what if someone else could?”

Em (as Tayo):
“Then I suggest you ask.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Ever, it is most important to me that you are safe. My mother… You have touched the knife. If you do not do as she has requested… She will not let you live. Not after having wielded the knife. We need to figure out how to keep you safe.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Your mother has figured a way to maintain her plane, while all the other gods, save Soevan and Nepthysaket, have been cut off from theirs. She was banished. Twice. Three times. Perhaps again. I do not know how. But it has been done.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I think the key to her being able to maintain her plane is because she… She approaches it from the other side. The gods who are cut off, they're trying to access their planes from here. She can access her plane because she's coming from... Somewhere else. She struggles to come here in person.”

Em (as Tayo):
“It is not my position to tell you what to do. My purview is humanity. All of its triumph and struggle. Every moment, every small act, simple act of humanity, feeds me, and is what I hunger for. Every god hungers for something. Your mother hungers for vengeance. Both of you have that in you. Vengeance. Your mother has a secret. that she has not told anyone, and I think she believes that if she does not say it, that it will be forgotten and perhaps it will not exist. Your mother is not a god, Rake. She's an avatar of vengeance. Vengeance incarnate. She cannot be killed like a god because she is not one. However, if she was weakened… Perhaps she may be shut out like she has been in the past. Perhaps there was a reason. It was possible that in an act of desperation, she could be shunted from this plane altogether and barred. But that is magic beyond my purview.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“If you will not tell us what to do. Can you at least give us a direction? I do not know where to go. Can I leave Ever with you? Would you keep her safe?”

Em:
Tayo regards you so deeply. There is a trueness and a genuineness, and you see the deep, deep well of empathy. It is not sympathy, it is not pity. It is empathy. And I think, Rake, in that moment, you understand. Tayo has such a well of empathy, that they know that if they stuck around the other gods, that that would be taken advantage of.

Em (as Tayo):
“It is clear to me that she is your northern star. And I worry what would happen if she was not there, to keep a little bit of light around you.”

Em:
And he would turn to you, Ever.

Em (as Tayo):
“You both ask me what to do. You seek guidance. While I may not have answers, there is someone I trust who might. Go see my Hand. The Hand of Humanity.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“What is his name?”

Em (as Tayo):
“He will tell you, when you get there. Go to my temple, in the base of the Chime. The Alluvium. The phrase that brought you here on the map will grant you entrance. Prepare for a trip underground. Though I live amongst the mortals and create them, I am not of them. He is. Perhaps he will have insights I do not.”

Em:
And I have a really important question for you, Jannes.

Jannes:
Mhmm?

Em:
We both know what you came here to do.

Jannes:
Mmhmm.

Em:
Now, in this moment… You know Tayo's downfall. You can choose to kill them. Or you can choose to spare them. But either way, you have to make that choice.

Jannes:
I look at Tayo, and you see... Ever, you see Rake has the knife in his hands. And you see… You see his face change. You see that light in his eyes dim. You see that snarl creep across his face.

Gina:
If I see that, can I, I would reach over and lay my hand on top of his.

Jannes:
And you see him soften. And you see tears in his eyes. And he looks up at Tayo.

Jannes (as Rake):
“You knew why I came.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Yes.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“And you still told me.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Yes.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Could this kill you?”

Em (as Tayo):
“Yes.”

Jannes:
And you see that that answer, that knowledge that it would work, and that he is exactly the weapon that his mother always wanted him to be. He whips the blade back in its sheath. And he looks at Ever.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Maybe he's right. Maybe it is best that you come with me.”

Em:
Would you like to roll to spare a god?

Jannes:
I would.

Em:
Okay. When you confront a god in their true form and reveal you know their downfall, but relent at the last minute. Describe how you spare them and roll 2d6. On a hit, seven through nine, they perform a single favor of your choosing, such as lifting a curse or performing a miracle. On a strong hit, you can also bind them with a curse of your own. You say what they must never do, and they must obey. And on a miss, six and below, the River seals your choice. Your mercy is eternal and you can never kill them, no matter how they trespass against you in the future. And regardless of your role, you receive a semblance of their power. This is a flat roll with no bonuses.

Jannes:
I rolled a nine.

Em:
Okay. As you put the dagger, you put the knife, back in its sheath. They look between you. They pick up the teapot, and fill your cups, before filling their own. Moving the water around once or twice, before placing it down, noticing the difference in the sound.

Em (as Tayo):
“You are more worthy than you ever will understand.”

Em:
And in that moment, they are looking at both of you. Simultaneously, you see them look directly at you. And you know that if you drink that tea… That that is a gift. From them to you.

Em (as Tayo):
“While I do not have the power that I once did, magic is finite now, one request of your choosing. Well, two. One for each of you. Because either of you could use that blade. And you didn't.”

Jannes:
I would reach forward and sip the tea.

Em:
It is that same flavour that you remember from being eight years old. The first time you ever asked your father what he was drinking and why it smelled so good. The sip you take is like the first sip. You experience every flavour, pulling on your memory and your taste buds. And you receive the power of creation. And you can ask Tayo one favour of your choosing.

Jannes:
I assume this happens sort of, almost non-verbally.

Em:
Mmhmm.

Jannes:
Rake feels that he… Can ask for one thing. And he knows that Tayo is the God of Creation. And so he asks, in his mind, for the ability to sing those fruits into existence. So that no matter where they are… He can always give that… A little taste of home, to Ever. And I think there's a… Young, naive, part of him that thinks, that in the competition for her love, that that somehow might be important.

Em:
Hmm. You feel a warmth in your throat, where your vocal cords are. It feels like the smell of cinnamon. And you can do that. Do you drink, Ever?

Gina:
I do, yes.

Em:
I am also going to have you roll to spare a god, separately from Rake.

Gina:
Straight roll?

Em:
Mmhmm.

Gina:
Nine.

Em:
Okay, so on a hit seven to nine, they perform a single favor of your choosing, such as lifting a curse or performing a miracle. And as the tea settles through your mouth and down your throat, you too gain the power of creation. What would you have them do for you?

Gina:
Ever since Tayo said that she doesn't choose, that I'm wrong. I just want to ask them, what do I do with this… Hole in my heart of… What am I supposed to do with this, now? And seeing Rake, and remembering what he had said the night we met. Feeling like something has been ripped from my chest. And the thing I came here to do… It’s just gone. I look to Rake and I think… I've had hope. This whole time, even when it was small, I still had it. And he hasn't had it for… So long. And I would ask, in my mind, for him to be able to feel hope again. Lasting hope. Not just a kernel of it, not just a flash of it, but… Real hope.

Em:
And I think how that manifests is that while you send this out to Tayo… Essentially what you're asking Tayo to do is lift a curse. Lift a constraint. And that they can do. Rake, as you watch Ever sip this tea. You see just a peace, a comfort, and you feel her divinity change. It's different. It is not unruly. But it is still powerful. And you see that divinity sits in her without the knife in her hand. And you see that furrow in her brow, lessen. You see her relax, and you feel yourself relax. And you don't know if that's because she is relaxing, or, you have just made a step in a direction away from someone who has caused you so much pain. That maybe, just maybe, there is a different way. And you feel that spark, and it doesn't fizzle out. You can hold it, and it doesn't burn you. And in your heart, you feel hope. Maybe for the first time, since before your mother showed up at the cottage, at your house.

Jannes:
And I think… I think part of… What gives him that hope, is now that he's learned his name. Before, even though he had memories of his father, he didn't have memories of his father saying his name. And I think the hope he feels, and the reminder of a life before his mother. Those memories come back.

Em:
Yeah.

Jannes:
Altered now. Whereas before, he only ever heard his dad say Rake. He now hears him say Rhys. And he knows that… For a long time he thought he'd lost his anchor on what was real. And in his heart, now he knows he's found it again.

Em:
The both of you place the teacups down on the table, the steam swirling up from them. And maybe just for a moment, you feel the beauty in divinity, rather than the terror. Your eyes get lost for a moment in the swirling steam of the freshly topped up tea in front of you. A rich Lapsang Souchong, without milk, with notes of wood smoke, pine resin, smoked paprika and sweetness, coming from the dried longan fruit mixed in with the leaves while it's steeping. Care being taken to brew a moment of peace into each sip, while here in Tayo The Lost's sanctuary. While you're not quite sure what they meant by saying that this is a carefully chosen place, and that here someone great will learn who they are, you know that Tayo is a purposeful god. They say what they mean and they mean what they say. From this very home, a small fifth floor apartment in a tenement block in the fourth district of Glass, someone, or something great, will be set on a path forward. You feel the potential here, as if the universe is waiting for something. Is it you? Maybe. Hard to say at this point. Tayo shifts in their robes, sighing softly with a small half smile set in their lips.

Em (as Tayo):
“Go speak to my Hand. Give him my regards, and tell him I will be reaching out again soon. Perhaps it is time we speak as I will need to prepare him for what's coming, what I think is coming. The phrase on the map will give you access into The Alluvium.”

Em:
What would you like to do?

Jannes:
I think Rake would sip his tea, and knowing everything that's been revealed in the last couple of minutes, he would look to Ever to sort of take the lead on what to do next.

Gina:
I think Ever is trying to take in all of this information. Right now she's been given the task. And that's something to focus on, aside from… Everything that's swirling in her mind, so she turns to Rake. I turn to you, and I hold out a hand for the map.

Gina (as Ever):
“May I see it?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Of course.”

Jannes:
And I reach over, and pass you the map.

Gina:
Can I see the phrase on the map? Am… Am I able to read it?

Em:
You do. Yeah, you do. The phrase, it almost looks like it's part of the border. And after some time deciphering it, and some time, like, really focusing in on it, you discovered the phrase ‘To show all humanity and its creation, to find the missing, to recover the lost.’ You assume that this might be a pass phrase of some kind to be said at entrance to The Alluvium, but you've never been to The Alluvium, so you're not sure.

Gina (as Ever):
“So this will help us find The Alluvium, then?”

Gina:
I say.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Yes, you just need to speak the name of the person you're looking for. It will take you to them.”

Em:
And you would know as well, that The Alluvium is one of the major temples at the base of the time. Tayo is considered one of the major seven gods, though so little is known about them. There is very little fanfare for them, or any sort of parades, or any honour that is shown outside. And, both of you find that when you try and think about what the entrance to The Alluvium looks like, you're drawing a blank. Rake, you've been to Glass many times and don't remember what it looks like, and Ever, I don't think you've ever… I don't think you've seen it. I don't think you've walked past it at this point. But you know it's at the base of the Chime. And if you were looking for the person that Tayo is sending you from, as Rake said, perhaps you could just speak their name into the map.

Gina:
I look down at the map and I...

Gina (as Ever):
“The Hand of Humanity, please.”

Em:
You hold the map in your hands, and it's a similar sensation to when you try and make something grow. When you try and infuse a little bit of your own magic, Thielia's magic, into something, you feel a warmth emanate from your fingers, and you see a dot of ink well up near the base of the Chime. It tries to find itself for a moment, and then seems to almost sink deeper into the page. It shows one of the heptagonal sides of the base of the Chime. Looks to be probably across from where the, across from where Temple Lybica is on the opposing side. But it seems to sink deeper into the page, which makes sense considering Tayo said to prepare yourselves for a trip underground.

Gina (as Ever):
“Huh. It worked.”

Em (as Tayo):
“Well, of course it worked. I was being taught cartography and I think I'm getting the hang of it.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Shall we go?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I think we should.”

Gina:
I set them up down in my lap, and I look back up to Tayo.

Gina (as Ever):
“Thank you for finding Rowan.”

Em (as Tayo):
“As I said, he found me.”

Gina (as Ever):
“And thank you for, for all of this.”

Em (as Tayo):Em (09:09.355)
“It is my pleasure. Ever Halassian.”

Jannes:
I think Rake would stand, and look the Tayo.

Jannes (as Rake):
“There are few gifts I've been given, better than the memory of my own name. Thank you. I thought it had been lost.”

Em (as Tayo):
“It technically still is. We just found it for a moment. And I hope that one day you find it again. Fully.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“As long as long as one person knows it. As long as one person remembers. It’s more than I thought, before. Thank you.”

Em:
Tayo stands, and with kind of a wave, the tea set disappears and is placed back up on the main counter. The cups washed. The pot once again on the stove, with a new batch of water in it. Tayo kind of glides over to the door and opens it for you.

Gina:
I stand, and gather Rowan, and place him up on my shoulders so he curls behind my neck. And I roll up the map, and I hand it to Rake.

Gina (as Ever):
“You know Glass better than I do.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I will lead the way then.”

Em:
So you leave the apartment, the door shuts softly behind you, and you hear the puttering around inside the apartment as you did before. And as you leave it, it's almost like part of you forgets that it's there. Maybe that too is that cloaking, that hiding that Tayo was talking about, interacting with the small aspects of divinity that run through the both of you. You wonder if the larger your divinity is, the more you will forget about that place. Or the less you will be able to find Tayo without the map. You head down the staircase, and as you exit the building, it's now later in the afternoon, it's probably about three thirty, four o'clock. What would you like to do?

Jannes:
I think his Rake is walking down the staircase, and he is realizing that the location of Tayo's place is taking on that hazy quality. I think he thinks to himself, sort of notes to himself. That if he ever needed to find it again, he might not remember where the apartment was, but I think he'd be hard pressed not to be able to find the staircase itself.

Em:
Hmm.

Jannes:
And I think as he exits the door… He gets his bearings, takes a quick glance at the map. And then looks to Ever, and,

Jannes (as Rake):
“Shall we go then?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Lead the way.”

Jannes:
And I would try and sort of trace the fastest way to the dot on the map.

Em:
Okay. So you traverse the districts, making your way towards the chime, realizing that it has been barely twenty four hours since you were here last, meeting for the first time on the steps of Temple Lybica. Each of the gods of the Major Seven have temples here, and they're arranged around the heptagonal base, each temple taking its space as one face of the Chime. And the symbolism isn't lost on you. The gods are the foundation of the Cradle as it stands, the base upon which the mortal world grounds itself. And the seven divine beings who stepped forward at the end of the Great War only a few years ago now, they aimed to bring a peace that they hoped would stand the tests of time, to stop the gods from having to kill each other for sport or for resources, to stop mortals from going to war over what little the Cradle had left. Because maybe, just maybe, if that balance was maintained… Oblivion need not come.

Temple Lybica, you know, a quietly proud and sacred place dedicated to Her Grace, Nepthysaket. They say that some of the sandstone is from the original temple, which was built by her own hand at the end of another divine war in ages long past. You trace your steps there as a landmark, and begin to work your way around.

To its left stands the Halls of Unity, devoted to Celiat, the last dragon god left alive after the Spar Drakonis, where Tasq, The Infinite Horde, and Calesvol, The Light that Cleaves the Darkness, fell at each other's hand. Next to that, the basalt bricks of the Ninth's Shadow, the temple to Ashmedai, seem to draw your eyes in and you smell that brimstone once more. You see soldiers in the same gear as those who attacked you at The Wayfarer's Lamp. You see two outside standing guard at the door, glaives in hand. And unlike the other temples, you do not see any civilians or parishioners entering or leaving the temple. And next to that, perhaps the smallest side of the Chime, standing in stark contrast to the sharp lines and angles of the temples that flank it. You see a wall entirely built out of mud brick. No door, no nothing. It's jarring, almost, set against the paragons of divine devotion next to them. This must be The Alluvium, where Tayo was referring to. Further on, you'd have the Augury dedicated to Allseia, the Skylight to Halinaea, and Champion’s Hall, to Vosh. What would you like to do?

Jannes (as Rake):
“He said we should just speak the phrase, correct?”

Gina (as Ever):
“That's what they said.”

Em:
Okay, do you approach the side?

Gina:
I will.

Em:
Okay. As you get closer, you realize that there is no handle on any form of door on this wall. There is nothing. But there is an imprint of a hand, in the center of the wall. It's almost like it should be cut into wood, but it is pressed into the brick itself. And unlike the well trodden walkways and grounds in this main square, there is at least a ten foot berth around this door. You see that the dust for coming from the mud brick, or the detritus that has gathered on the ground in front of this temple, nothing has been moved, nothing has been swept. Nobody has been here nor attempted to get in, nor even approach the door, in what you assume is some time. What would you like to do?

Gina:
I look back and I double check on the map. And I say,

Gina (as Ever):
“This, this is where we're supposed to be, right?”

Em:
You see the two dots of the two of you standing in front of a depiction of the wall, one heptagonal side of the Chime, which is reasonable enough, and you see the dot representing the Hand of Humanity forward, as if straight in front of you, and the ink remains sunken deep into the page. It looks like it's faded a little bit.

Gina:
Alright, well I… I will go and put my hand in the space on the wall.

Jannes:
And I think Rake walks up next to Ever, and he gives her a look, and he presses his hand on hers.

Em:
Hmm.

Gina:
I think with Rake's hand on mine, I pause just for a moment. And I say the phrase to let us in.

Em:
The pass phrase rolls out of your mouth, and as it finishes, you feel your hand, it's almost as if your hand gives way, and Rake’s pushes in, because the stone under your hand depresses. You hear the sound of stone grinding on stone as a square segment about six feet tall by three feet across recedes, and then slides sideways revealing an opening. It's exceedingly dark. But you see a steep staircase descending down well below street level.

Gina (as Ever):
“Prepare for a journey underground, right?”

Jannes:
How dark is this staircase?

Em:
You lose any source of light probably about three or four stairs into it.

Jannes:
I think Rake would step back from the doorway, and he would sort of cast a look out on the road around him, for sort of a piece of, a piece of wood or a stick, or something like that.

Em:
Yeah, you find a stone or a piece of wood on the ground, easy enough. There is construction actively going on around the Chime, so bits and pieces of construction materials kind of, tend to fall down often, they are mostly cleaned up, but there's pieces around, so you could grab something for sure.

Jannes:
I think he grabs a stick, or a piece of wood, and he walks back to Ever and he says,

Jannes (as Rake):
“All right, I'm prepared.”

[Ever chuckles]

Jannes:
And as she smiles at him, he reaches forward, and as if he's plucking that smile off her face, I'm going to use wield a power to turn this stick into a flaming torch.

Em:
Okay. So, wield the power. When you wield a power to do something only a god can, roll 2d6, and you're gonna add one for each true statement. You've done this specific act before. No. You're desperate for this to work. Are you desperate for this to work?

Jannes:
No.

Em:
And you're close to a shrine, lair, or domain of the god you took this power from. You are. So that's gonna be a plus one.

Jannes:
Alright, I rolled a five and a three, so an eight plus one is a nine.

Em:
Fantastic. On a hit, seven to nine, you do it. Tell me what it looks like as we see Rake wield another god's power, something not so intimately linked to him, and the fabric of who he is as a person. What does it look like when you wield the power of creation?

Jannes:
I think in the moment, as his hand starts at the base of the stick, sort of gestures up along the length of it, and this stick is transformed into a flaming torch. I think as the light hits his face, Ever, you see the boy from the beach. You see a red flush to his cheeks. You see a sparkle in his eyes. You see someone who still has that imagination of a child, who still has that ability to create, not destroy. And as the torch forms in his hands, he looks to you and he says,

Jannes (as Rake):
“I bring the stick, and you bring the light. Shall we venture on?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Yes. Let's go.”

Jannes:
And he would start his slow descent.

[Light & Dark: Series Theme by Sean McRoberts]
Em:
Godkiller: Balance is performed by Em Carlson, Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. This season’s dramaturge is Tim Carlson. Special thanks to our campaign artist, Mischi, who you can find @Mischiart on twitter! Our main theme for this episode, Light & Dark, was composed by Sean McRoberts. Character and location leitmotifs composed by Si Rutherford of Sounds of Adventure. Music and effects by Epidemic Sound. Cartography for this series by Chaim Holtjer of Chaim’s Cartography. For more stories, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. To play your own campaign of Godkiller and dive into your own divinity, go support Godkiller by purchasing the ashcan on itch.io today, with the print version published soon by Evil Hat Productions. This show is made possible by our sponsors who graciously support us playing pretend and having feelings about it. We are grateful to be sponsored by Heroforge, who offer fully customizable miniatures made with their online 3D character creator! Head on over and design your own Godkiller, and get them printed in a variety of materials, including colour printing options! With new content added each week, check out www.heroforge.com to start bringing your character to life! This show is also proudly sponsored by Moonbeam, a better and safer way to stream! Dive into Realms for vibrant community hubs where creators keep 100% of what they earn while protected by Pyxis, a revolutionary moderation tool that learns and adapts to your boundaries. So check them out and join Moonbeam today! Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our second journey through the Cradle. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Godkiller bonus content and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. See you next time, heretics, and to all the gods out there, be safe!