BlackwaterDnD

Em:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Balance, is a miniseries using the Powered by the Apocalypse system, Godkiller, which was created by Connie Chang, now available on Itch.io for purchase, and is proudly sponsored by Hero Forge and Moonbeam. This tale takes us back, long before the end of the universe, to a time when we begin to explore & understand old divine wounds that run so very deep, and what happens when love is caught in the middle. This story encouraged us as creators to strive for genuine emotion and connection, relish the space we create at the table, and take big swings with the way we approached our narrative. For this story, your GOD, everyone else, and the thrum of the Cradle, is myself, Em Carlson, and my GODKILLERs are played by Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. As this game falls within a holypunk and dark fantasy genre, it may contain themes and depictions that are triggering for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and access safe support as you see fit.

Content warnings for this episode include: police brutality // premeditated violence // deceit // power dynamics // forced confinement // corruption // nepotism // hunger & forced feeding & food // being watched // body horror // murder //

So sit back and relax, heretics. And welcome to Godkiller: Balance.

Episode 9: Feasting

Em:
The hazy light of the morning slowly crests through the skylight windows of the bookshop, where we find you both waking. Your sleep was peaceful and unaccosted. If you dreamed, you do not remember it. That's not to say it didn't happen, but the shores of the Sea of Somlescence seemed to have been out of your grasp this time. The rain has stopped, and as to what that means for you when you inevitably go outside, you're not sure. The acid marks are gone from your hands, but there is a lingering smell on your clothes, like when a match is struck, and snuffed out quickly. You know that the Guard of Ashmedai was using that ritual in the square to track you, and you also know you can't stay here forever, no matter how much you may wish to. You will have to test your luck outside if you plan to seek the ends you have, whether that’s finding Nepthysaket, or strictly going forth towards your plans with the Matron. What would you like to do?

Gina:
I think the first thing that I would do, if I can see that it's no longer raining outside, I would find a place to change. I know that an obvious giveaway would be the burn marks on my clothes and my cloak, so, I would change and make myself look as different as I can, even though there's really not much else I can do.

Em:
You do, easy enough. You have a spare change of clothes. And even though Davos' tunic, his shirt, is now unwearable, ongoing, you still have it. The red of the cloth still shows through.

Gina:
And then I would come back downstairs, and look to Rake.

Jannes:
And you would find that Rake has also changed, but seeing as Rake wears the same thing, he's back in his regular attire of all black.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Shall we push on, and try and find Nepthysaket?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I don't think we have any other choice.”

Gina:
And I turned to look at Rowan, and I kneel down so that I'm on his level, and I hold his little face and I just say,

Gina (as Ever):
“If anything happens, you find someplace safe, and we'll find you.”

Em:
The little kit nods and scampers up into your bag, ready to travel, as he has been with you, ongoing. And ,as Rowan touches you, you feel that thrum of Thielia's magic again, this gift from her, resonating through you, again and again. So aware you are now, of that shard of divinity you carry.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Once we get on the streets, we're gonna have to move fast. But make sure that we don't draw too much unwanted attention.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Right. Quickly, but not hurried.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Exactly. We'll make for the temple and we'll see if there's any leads there to where we can find her.”

Em:
So, how are you choosing to leave the bookshop? Are you going out to the attic space where you came in? Are you going out the front door? How are you getting out here?

Jannes:
I think, even though it would be quite obvious that we've been there, I think we leave out of the attic window,

Em:
Okay.

Jannes:
In hopes we could use this place again, seeing as we wouldn't be able to lock it once leaving the front door.

Em:
Absolutely. Okay. So you make your way back down into the alley behind the building and you peer out into the streets. Ashmedai's Guard are everywhere. They are in full force, teeming in the streets. There are no other people out right now. Not in this district, as you can see. There is an unease in the air. It feels stale and tense. Normally this place is bustling with people, this is on the edge of the merchant district. But you don't see anyone else. Just the guards.

Jannes:
I think we find our way there, make our way towards the temple, trying to sort hug the walls as much as possible. Look for the gaps as the guards move through their patrols. And... Rake knows this city well enough to know which routes will take them there, avoiding as many main streets as possible.

Em:
Okay, because this is a perilous thing that you are attempting to do, I'm gonna have you roll to tempt fate here. We don't have stealth checks. We don't have anything else like that, but this is a perilous thing you are attempting to accomplish. So, when you tempt fate with your actions, and I'll have both of you roll here, you're gonna say what perilous feat you wish to accomplish, which you have, and you're gonna roll 2d6, and you're gonna add one for each true statement. A skilled ally is lending you a hand? Yes, you have each other. You have no other options. I think you have other options for what you could do at this point, so I'm not going to give you that one. And you're far from any god that wishes you harm? No. As I said in the first season of this podcast, that place doesn't exist for you anymore. So you're going to add 2d6 and add a plus one.

Jannes:
I rolled a four, plus one is a five.

Gina:
I've rolled a three, and a one, plus one is a five.

Em:
So also a five. Okay. On a miss, both of you missing, six and below, the fates laugh in your face, and the GM will describe how your plan implodes. You start to make your way out into the streets, and as you round a corner thinking that this will be a safe passage, this path has changed. There is so much of Glass that is quickly being built, quickly being constructed, that this pathway that you thought you were going on no longer exists, and you run smack dab into a squadron of six guards. They see you immediately. They signal to the other guards. Four come up behind you. One of them immediately grabs you, Ever.

Gina:
I try and feign as much surprise, [chuckles] unknowing surprise, as possible.

Gina (as Ever):
“What's, what’s happening? What's the meaning of this?”

Em:
They look towards Rake, Rake, you are now surrounded. They perceive you as a larger threat. There are three of them surrounding you. They have Ever, grasped at her sides. One who looks to be of an equivalent station to the Major, back at The Wayfarer's Lamp, walks up to you, opens a scroll, and you see sketches inside.

Em (as Another Major):
“Looks like them. Now we go. The Scion is waiting.”

Em:
And you are, Ever starts to be pulled through the streets. They look and see if you're going to resist, Rake. But she's already about ten steps ahead of you. There are too many of them, Ever. You're not strong enough to fight them all off at this point, and you don't have the knife in your hand.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Ever, it's gonna be okay. It'll be alright. We can sort this out.”

Gina (as Ever):
“I think- I think there's been some mistake…”

Gina:
And I start trying to pull away.

Em:
And you hear one of the guards say,

Em (as Guard 1):
“Enough!”

Em:
And they don't pay you any further mind, as you begin to almost be paraded through the streets. There are so few people out, and anyone who is, is eyeing this procession with profound worry. You walk past scores of guards who eye you carefully, curious as to how you two seem to have such a high price on your head to have almost shut down a whole city by eight o 'clock in the morning. It seems that the reach of The Scion of Perdition, the High Priest of Ashmedai, has very few bounds or limitations. As you're paraded through, walking closer and closer through the Second and into the Chime District, you see absolute loyalty and adherence to the commands being issued, and each of the soldiers, a willingness to outright die for their cause. And it strikes you in that moment that it is no wonder that Ashmedai is one of the Major Seven. Even if he is the one more darkly aligned god to sit on that council, the devotion here is so evident. It's pure. And there's power in faith and worship, with almost nothing being more strong than that belief. Do you do anything as you're taken throughout the city or do you let that happen?

Jannes:
I think Rake would follow, and call up to the guards ahead who are escorting Ever.

Jannes (as Rake):
“We are coming with you willingly. There is no need to drag her like that. Let her go. We will not flee.”

Em:
You see the Major look back at you, and he sees that connection between the two of you. I think it's evident enough for him to perceive, and he points to you.

Em (as Another Major):
“Anything funny, and we'll transport you two separately.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Understood.”

Em:
They let loose on you a little bit, Ever. Not pushing you, but now walking with you. Your hands get bound, Rake, hers do not. You arrive back at the Chime where you were just yesterday, at the steps of Ninth’s Shadow. The dark basalt of the exterior looms over you as you approach, and there's this general feeling of unwellness, unease, and discomfort that sits in that low of your belly. It's different, Rake, than the feeling of meeting another Eutoches, and it's different, Ever, than any time you see the processional to Astuce, or smell the sweet decay of wasting sickness. This feeling just says you shouldn't be here, that nothing good awaits you inside, and that both of you are in grave danger.

You're taken up the steps, and as you approach the door, you feel a strong sense of defensive magic. Wards and protections placed to prevent unwanted access to the temple. Perhaps this is the reason that there are no parishioners or worshippers ever that you've seen go in and out. None are allowed inside. The door is opened and you step into a small antechamber. There's a statue of a man, tall and broad in stature. It's carved entirely from marble, but it looks almost as if the person has been turned to stone rather than sculpted. The detail is immaculate. He wears long robes with a high collar, and you see a spell book tucked under one arm, the other arm extended, holding a gem, a garnet, almost the size of your fist. A plaque sits below it: ‘Hadeon Kerschel, Hellfire’s Harbinger’. You've never fully seen the current High Priest of Ashmedai, but you can assume that somewhere, this is a great-great-grandfather, and that title of this High Priest is inherited through their bloodline. The guard that is taking you gestures inside with his head.

Em (as Another Major):
“Put your hands on the rock, state your name. It'll know if you're lying, so don't try anything.”

Em:
And he closes you inside. You're in an antechamber between two doors. What would you like to do?

Jannes (as Rake):
“Ever, it's gonna be okay.”

Gina (as Ever):
“It’s been so fine, so, so far.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“We're still here, aren't we?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Yes.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Well then that's the metric that we use, for now, for success.”

Jannes:
I place my hand on the rock.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Rake.”

Em:
The gem glows partly. But then again, you know that is not entirely your name.

Jannes (as Rake):
“The Void in Flight.”

Em:
As you say the last part, the gem alights fully, and you hear one part of the door unlock.

Gina:
I move to the stone as well. I place my hands on it.

Gina (as Ever):
“Ever Halassian.”

Em:
The door unlocks fully, and swings open, and you go inside. Avaris, where would we find you at this time of the morning? What have you been doing prior to their arrival?

Brennan:
I am in communion with my god. I've taken the time to present myself, and lay out a small banquet to the side of this chamber. I wish my guests to feel welcome, above all else.

Em:
What kind of food would you have laid out for them?

Brennan:
Sumptuous flaked pastries oozing with honey, ripe vibrant fruit grapes, and large goblets of wine, deep blood red.

Em:
Ever and Rake, you see this before you, and it strikes you as very strange. This is not what you were expecting, I assume. And Avaris, you know, after hearing word from your guard, that the two that you are now waiting to meet are now standing in the main vestibule of your temple. What would you like to do?

Brennan:
Clap my hands loudly together. My armour, I think, is covered at this moment, with a clean tabard, so it's not just the raw metal, I have covering over it, a vestment, clerical, and I will walk towards them smiling with that loud clap announcing my presence.

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Guests! Welcome. I hope the guard did not handle you too roughly on your way here. Are you all right? Are you famished? Have you eaten? Do you require water? Wine?”

Jannes:
I think Rake has, through the tutelage of his mother, had enough interactions with priests of different faith, and people who have inherent divinity, that he knows the number one thing that he can do to garner any sort of favour, is to, even if it's not necessarily true, is to show respectfulness to what they believe. And I think, upon seeing him come down closer, he would go to a knee.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Scion of Perdition, it is an absolute pleasure to meet you.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Pleasure to meet you as well. Rake, yes?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“That is correct.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“And Ever.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Yes.”

Gina:
And I look out of the corner of my eye to, I see Rake kneel and I follow suit and dip my head.

Gina (as Ever):
“It's an honour.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“The honour and privilege is all mine, of course. I take it that your time here has been somewhat eventful. I again hope that none of my guard handled you too roughly. You must understand that they are simply zealous in their will to carry out those desires of our god. Are you here in service to a god of your own?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“One could say so.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Would that one be you, or someone not in this chamber?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“In this case, it might be someone who's not in this chamber.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Ahhhh. Heavy is the head that wears the crown, I understand. Forgive me for boldness or forwardness, but time is, of course, of the essence. My understanding, Rake, is that you have been burdened by terrible purpose, of which your volition seems to be an afterthought. Am I much incorrect in my statement?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“No, you are very close to the truth.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Well… As High Priest of Ashmedai, servant of my god, as my father and his fathers were, I say to you, as a matter of our service to his divinity… I find the position in which you have been placed repugnant. You have my condolences, and my sorrow, my friend. Destiny is something that should be stepped into, and not thrust upon the unwilling. It is a breach of all that is holy to think that one might be grabbed by the ear and dragged into destiny.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“If there was anyone who could understand, it would be you.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“How do you mean?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“The weight of expectation for a position. The way that we are made by them, to fulfill their purposes.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“I… I beg your pardon, I don't believe I do understand. The weight of responsibility… I suppose I understand the obligations of my station, but the feeling of requirement? No. No, to that I do not relate. Many generations has this legacy been passed down with the understanding being always that Ashmedai requires a servant, zealous and committed. Should I or my father, or my father's father, have approached the throne, with reservation, we would have been excused, and rightfully so. A heart that is not committed is not the heart of a true servant. And if you are being forced into that position, know that accepting a gift half-heartedly dooms the giver and the receiver both. I hope you have not been put in that position, as I certainly have not.”

Jannes:
I think you see Rake smile at that. When you say, dooms both the giver and the receiver... And I think you can recognize that he views it very much the same.

Brennan (as Avaris):
“And, Ever. I understand that you are seeking something. Is there any boon or wish that I might grant in service to my lord, Ashmedai?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I, I, I thank you for the offer. I… But I think what… I think what I seek is possibly more than, than what you can give.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Oh? On our first meeting, you think so little of me? I am a skilled and proficient man, I assure you.”

Gina (as Ever):
“It is not that I think that you are not capable. I think I'm still determining what exactly that might be, that I need.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Then perhaps the boon I can grant you, is the gift of certainty. What ails you? Is there a balm you seek? Something to soothe and heal the mind or spirit?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Justice.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Ahh. You have been wronged, or a love one who has been wronged in turn.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Both.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“What force has wronged you, Ever?”

Gina:
And I think you would see Ever tense, just slightly. I think you are perceptible enough to be able to see it.

Gina (as Ever):
“I lost my father, and… I then lost myself in grief. And someone sought to use that grief, for their own means.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“[sighs deeply] To have one's wounds exploited is an insult that cannot be suffered. My heart goes out to you. I would will it that those who have made you suffer should suffer tenfold in turn. My kindness may strike you as strange upon this, our first meeting. Rather than bandy in lies and subterfuge and cunning, I shall come out with it and simply state to you that I am here to serve your needs if you are willing to serve mine. This is the nature of all bindings of mortals that walk this world, from parent to child, lover to lover. We need of one another, and if we are able, we give. Justice is what you seek, Ever, and for Rake, I imagine you seek freedom from the burden that has been placed on you. I joyfully walk in the shadow of my master, who gives me great power to see that wishes be granted by those magic gifts I wield and those forces that answer to my same banner. My master bid me to find a knife that I believe to be in your possession, and to by any means necessary, take it into my custody.

I tell you this now in full honesty and transparency. I may stop at nothing to acquire this knife. My hope would be that I can serve you in this moment, give you what you are seeking, and perhaps see you rid of something that itself is haunting you. I tell you this in honesty so that you know that I am bound to pursue its custody. I cannot shirk from this duty. However, my hope would be that all can walk from here, having served themselves and the ones they love. Do you understand the path that I now tread, and how I may best serve you?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I do. Unfortunately, though I have the knife, our need of it is not yet done. It is not something I hold dear. But, it still must play a part in what we have left to do.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“What is your need of this great weapon?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I assume you know that my mother is the Matron of Vengeance.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“I do.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“And we hope to banish her, to a place where her reach no longer extends to the Material Plane. But to do so, we need to make her believe that her original plan, of using the knife, is still occurring, until the time where we can... Spring our trap. We cannot give the knife up yet.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“[sighs] You will find no more capable partner in deception than myself. My domain of fire and shadow is given to the casting of illusions on the walls of reality. Ever have the shadows danced from the flame to make shapes that can deceive even the eyes of the gods. Your Matron can be so deceived. The custody of the knife given to me, and a facsimile placed into your hand, to carry forth from this place, with all of the power at my disposal. I speak plainly to you, Rake, that you may understand. My power is given to me to wield at my discretion. Justice served for Ever. You, unburdened by your terrible purpose. I will not leave this chamber without the knife. I wish to make your life the shape that it would be in your heart's desire. And if you will turn down my gift, I will raise up this horn and strike you down.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I appreciate the honesty. Have you given consideration to what you might find if you were to touch the knife?”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“I walk in the confidence of my prowess, and should wonders unfold before my eyes at the taking of this gift, then I welcome them with open arms.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Have you been told what the knife is?”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“I have my suspicions.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Your master has not told you? The thing which you seek, which you have been tasked with retrieving, he has not given you all the information?”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“No, nor did I ask.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“The knife is that of a Eutoches.”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Hmm. I cannot lie and say I did not expect as much.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“But it also has been tainted, so that it can strengthen or imbue a certain amount of divinity to those who wield it. Do you think your… Do you think that your god would want the competition?”

Brennan (as Avaris):
“My suspicion, Rake, is that were I to come into possession of this knife, the shape of this world would not be much changed. If you fear for what you will be culpable for, should you part with it here, know that most men spill blood and set fires to arrive at a place of comfort and power. I have been in a place of comfort and power for my entire life. I do not seek to wreak great ruin upon the world with such a weapon. I find myself quite accustomed to the nature of this world, and see not much need for change. So you need not worry on what will happen, were you to part with this blade.”

Gina:
I'd like to use a move.

Em:
What move would you like to use?

Gina:
After hearing him say that there is no one more adept at deception than he is, and hearing him say that all we have to do is give him the knife, and he'll help us, I'd like to feel someone out, and see if I actually believe him.

Em:
Okay, so when you try and feel out of person, place, or thing, say what clarity you want and answer one. The GM will give you the clarity you seek as they answer the other. So I'm actually gonna have, Gina, you answer what question you want, and Brennan, you can answer the other, because I think that's a question to answer you hold rather than me. So Gina, would you like to answer what feels welcoming on the surface or what feels darker and nerving as you peer deeper?

Gina:
I think what feels welcoming on the surface is that he's been so polite, and kind, and patient, when he clearly knows who we are, what we have. And there's a level of comfort to that that is very strange. It makes me want to believe him.

Em:
Brennan, I'll have you answer the other question.

Brennan:
The unsettling thing underneath this… Every part where Avaris is offering you what you want is honest. The lie is that the world will not change if he gets this knife.

Em:
Hmm.

Brennan:
That’s not true. I will step forward and say,

Brennan (as Avaris):
“Everything you seek is not at my fingertips, but it is within reach. I will make it so. Those dreams and ambitions which you possess, I can help make real, and I suspect it will be more aid than you have had in some time. And for it, I will simply take the knife into my custody. But I do require an answer, now. I will not disappoint my master. So, if it should come to blows, know that if I scatter your blood across this floor, you will have my respect.

Jannes (as Rake):
“I appreciate the courtesy you have shown us, the honesty, the hospitality. But I fear that we are at an impasse.”

Brennan:
I will raise the horn and strike it down on Rake's head.

Em:
As Avaris raises the horn, Ever, it takes you a millisecond to begin to process what's happening. And before you react, as you feel your feet betray you, and you begin to step towards Rake to protect him, it's then you clock it. Time slows to a halt. The look of calculated rage on Avaris' face as he raises his hands to bring the horn down in a slashing motion towards Rake. Rake's eyes glancing to you as one of his hands reaches for the knife tucked in his jacket, with the other instinctively moving up to block the incoming blow. The small glint of light off the horn that has snuck its way in from one of the upper windows in the dark of this temple. But everything is just still and quiet. What would you like to do?

Gina:
I... everything is... everything is still... except for me?

Em:
Yes.

Gina:
I, I honestly, I don't think that I even would have really noticed that time had stopped until that the scream that tears from my throat has finished.

Em:
And it echoes through the space, reverberating and rippling down the hallway. You see neither Rake nor Avaris clock it. Nothing moves except for you. Held here in this moment as everything around you is in stasis.

Gina:
How close to him is the horn?

Em:
About a foot and a half.

Gina:
Can I take it from his hand?

Em:
You're gonna have to go over there and try.

Gina:
I think the only thing on my mind right now is getting that horn as far away from Rake as possible, so I'm going to move to him and see if I can take it from his hand.

Em:
Okay. You walk over to Avaris, and it's like you're looking at a statue. It doesn't look real, but if you were to touch and reach his armour, it's still cold. That smell of brimstone is still present. And the horn has a bit of smoke coming out of the end of it that is itself suspended. It does not move. As your breath gets closer, the forced exhales of the sheer panic coming out of you - it doesn't move.

Gina (as Ever):
“Did I do this?”

Gina:
Can I, can I feel something out? Can I try and ascertain, did I do this?

Em:
Okay, so when you try and fill out a person, place, or thing, say what you want clarity about, which you have, whether you are the cause of this, and answer one. The GM will give you the clarity you seek as they answer the other. So the two questions here are, what feels welcoming on the surface, or what feels dark or unnerving as I peer deeper?

Gina:
I don't think anything feels welcoming right now, aside from… The fact that it's just stopped. That we have a moment to breathe.

Em:
So if you can't answer that question, what feels dark or unnerving as you peer deeper?

Gina:
That time has paused. And I feel so alone, and everything has stopped, and I don't know why.

Em:
So as you look at Avaris and you look back to Rake, his eyes seem to follow you. They aren't moving, but you're still in Rake's eyeline. You look around the room and you realize, I think the thing that is welcoming on the surface is that, for you to be held here, and everything else around you to be paused… Whatever or whomever has done this, needed you to see something, needed you to be free to move. And I think also you recognize in this moment that to do this in a temple to Ashmedai would require an inordinate amount of power. Something so magically wrought. To expend this much resources in a place where magic is finite. Something very powerful is at work here. And it seems to want to keep you safe, from a situation that looked like it was ultimately going to cause a lot of harm to you. What would you like to do?

Gina:
I look back to Rake. You said that he can... His eyes are following me?

Em:
It seems that way. His eyes aren't moving, and he is held static. But you can meet his eye line.

Gina:
I’m going to move back to him. See if he can hear me, and I put my hand on his face.

Gina (as Ever):
“Rake, can you hear me? Are you alright?”

Em:
Nothing. No acknowledgement. His skin is warm. It does not look like he is in any sort of pain at the moment. The moment is just held.

Gina:
I look around the room, has anything changed?

Em:
Your eyes drift over the, almost brutally minimalistic architecture, that has an air of opulence to it. It is simple in its design, but it oozes wealth. It oozes power, this space, this vestibule that you have found yourself in, that Avaris had prepared for you. You see on the side wall this banquet, this feast that he set out for you. Above it sits a mirror, affixed to the wall, probably two feet by four feet long. It's a large piece of glass. And as you look over to the banquet, you hear a growl from your stomach. And you realize how hungry you are. It almost cascades all at once, this empty pit you find in the deep of your stomach after barely tending to your basic needs for the last forty eight hours, and the smell of this food, you can still smell it, is tantalizing.

Gina:
And it makes sense. I, I should be hungry. I've hardly eaten. To eat at a time like this?

Em:
Your stomach growls again. Louder. It sounds like an animal.

Gina:
I moved towards the table.

Em:
There is a beautiful spread. Food that should not be accessible in these parts. You see roasted fowl and game. You see vegetables pulled from every corner of the Cradle. You see wine and fruit. It looks like it has been painstakingly prepared. A temptation. You can taste the ill intent from where you stand that was baked into this food. Avaris meaning to show you the extent of his power. You cannot help. You are so hungry.

Gina:
I think my hand reaches out before I even realize what I'm doing.

Em:
As your hand reaches forward, what do you reach out for? What do you gravitate towards? What would sate your hunger right now?

Gina:
I think I reach for a piece of bread. Perhaps if there's a pastry, or something sweet.

Em:
Mmm. Sweetness. You see a set of what look like danishes, a pastry with a honey glaze, and a gooey jam in the center. As your hand touches it, you instinctively, you can't control it. You bring the pastry close to your mouth. It smells so good. It's warm in your hand, still. What do you do?

Gina:
I feel the conflict. How could I be eating at a time like this, and yet I can't help but take a bite. And it’s so good.

Em:
The pastry touches your lips and your tongue, and you feel it move through your mouth, and it's almost as if you're paying too much attention to it, as it slides down your throat and into your stomach, it tastes delicious and you immediately want more, a more-ish that you've never experienced before. It feels like a drug. Not that this food is drugged, but it in itself is some form of ambrosia to your senses. And you hear a voice, sourceless and directionless, and it's as if you hear it almost bubble up from your stomach, inside you.

Matt (as Ungal):
“You must consume to feed your hunger, yes? It is the only way.”

Gina:
I stop. I try,

Gina (as Ever):
“Who are you? What do you want?”

Em:
You look around to try and find the source of the voice. Your eyes immediately look up, forward, as the first place you look. Almost a fluke of the saccade of how your eyes work. You catch your own gaze in the mirror. You look tired. You look scared. And as you stare at yourself for this brief moment, you look over your own shoulder in the mirror behind you, and you catch the shadow from across the room. You see in the mirror a gaunt, rail-thin humanoid, that is more bone than flesh. They wear small pieces of fabric, barely covering themselves, remnants of clothes, paid with no mind to the wear and tear that have come to them. This creature has no hair, skin pulling back from the eye sockets, nasal cavity, and mouth with receding gums. As your eyes draw down this figure, there is no abdomen that should be filled with organs, but skin draped over skeleton. The flesh looks marred and rotten in some parts, but their eyes… Their eyes are wild and feral. This ghoul-like creature eyes you hungrily. And I think there's a moment that you realize that to this creature, you are appetizing. And they're encouraging you to eat. They want to see you fed.

Gina (as Ever):
“Did you do this? Is this because of you?”

Em:
Their eyes draw between the pastry and you, through the mirror.

Matt (as Ungal):
“Good. Eat. Feed your hunger now, before you cannot be sated any longer, yes? Heavy is the burden of emptiness. But you, you can help me. So, in an unusual act of kindness, I will help you first. [laughs] Shatter the glass and free me, yes? And I will bring you to me, and we can talk.”

Em:
And that growl in your stomach rings again.

Gina:
And I look behind me. Is he there? Or only in the reflection?

Em:
Only in the reflection.

Gina:
I'm standing here holding this half-eaten pastry, and this desire to eat feels unnatural. I've never felt hunger like this before. And I know that this could only be if it didn't come from me. It must have come from someone. I'd like to… try to recognize a god.

Em:
Mmm. So, when you want to recognize the signs or the influence of a god of the Cradle, roll 2d6, add one for each true statement. You're in or near their domain. No. You're familiar with their gospel. Absolutely not. And, it would be bad if you didn't know. I don't think so. So this is just going to be a flat roll. 2d6.

Gina:
Seven.

Em:
Okay. On a hit, the GM will give you a clear interpretation of the omens. Ask your GM a single follow up question of your choosing, and they must answer honestly. As you're putting this together, trying to figure out just who could have this much power, it does dawn on you that of course this must be a god. Also, the audacity of someone to act as such in another god's temple, it could only be someone divine, something divine. You think about what's going on around you. The hunger. The time stop. Time. You are not familiar with any god that oversees the domain of time. There is no written or spoken name or depictions of any god in the pantheon that oversees the domain of time. So that must mean that something has happened to this god. Are they dead? Do they no longer exist in this iteration or this part of the Cradle? I don't think you have further knowledge of that, but you can imagine that this is a God. That has at least some capacity to control time. And also, a god whose hunger itself is hunger, is consumption. So there is a duality here, a mismatch. Something feels off and wrong. I don't know if you can put anything further together with the information you know, but I will answer any question you have honestly.

Gina:
I think the question I would ask is… Would I be putting us into further danger? If I do as he asks?

Em:
Yes. But you also know you need out. You understand in this moment that there is some form of trade, that for you to get out of this situation unscathed, there will be a calculated risk you must have to take. This god is offering you an out, but they very clearly want something from you.

Gina:
I will finish the pastry that I'm eating.

Em:
The being watches you, and there is a… I'm loath to use the word joy, but there is an excitement. You see their eyes widen and a smile pull across cracked lips and receding gums. A large toothy grin as you consume.

Gina:
I look back at his reflection in the glass.

Gina (as Ever):
“I will do this. But he comes with me.”

Gina:
And I look back to Rake.

Em:
You see a twitch in their eye, and that grin turns into a slight grimace.

Matt (as Ungal):
“He is unnecessary. An accessory… But, if it gets you to me, then fine.”

Em:
And with that, Rake, you regain your senses and come to. But the last thing you remember is Avaris reaching up to engage in combat with you. He stands frozen before you, and Ever has moved. She stands near the table. You see a small bit of honey on her lips, and a trace of it on her hands, and a pastry missing from the banquet as she looks to you.

Jannes (as Rake):
“What's going on?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I'm not entirely sure.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Are you alright?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I, I think so. There's someone who wants to help us, I think. Can you…”

Jannes (as Rake):
“We need to go.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Come here.”

Gina:
And I gesture to him to... How close to me are you?

Em:
About two feet from you. There's not a lot of space here in the vestibule. You've moved over to where the banquet is and, Rake, as you've come to, it's almost like your foot has stepped through and you've completed the movement. Avaris stays still in front of you and you see this cruelness across his face, the horn still raised, the sharp of it. You almost have a duck out of the way to move from it. Your hand was up and you are now free to control your faculties.

Jannes (as Rake):
“We have to go.”

Jannes:
And Rake's eyes would dart to the door.

Gina (as Ever):
“I don't think, I don’t think we can.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Then how? Then how, how do we get out?”

Gina (as Ever):
“Can you see him?”

Gina:
And I reach for your arm, and just pull you so that you can look into the glass, into the mirror.

Gina (as Ever):
“Can you see him?”

Jannes:
I look into the mirror.

Em:
Rake, as you move next to Ever, you try and catch what she's talking about. And it takes you a moment, but you find it. You find them. This form sunk into the shadows, as I've described it. Staring at the two of you. Their eyes darting back and forth, between you two and the banquet in the mirror.

Jannes (as Rake):
“I see him. Is this our way out? Is he our way out?”

Gina (as Ever):
“I think so.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“How, how? What do we do?”

Gina:
I looked down on the banquet table. Is there some sort of, uh, I look for a, a serving utensil or something?

Em:
You find a long two pronged fork that would be used probably for serving or carving meat. It still has some of the juice of the roast, that it was sitting next to you on it. But yes, there is one there.

Gina:
I pick it up.

Em:
Rake, as she does so you see that grin come.

Jannes (as Rake):
“What are you gonna do?”

Gina (as Ever):
“He's trapped in there, I think. He says he needs something from me, he wants to make… He can help, if we help.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Okay.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Do you trust me?”

Jannes:
And Rake smiles.

Jannes (as Rake):
“Of course. But, I need you to promise me one thing. I saw you, jerk, when he raised the horn… If something like that happens again, I need you to make sure that you don't hurt yourself to protect me.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Are you willing to make that same promise to me?”

Jannes (as Rake):
“If it's the only way to protect you, then yes, I will make that same promise. Let's get out of here.”

Gina:
I think my eyes linger on his for another moment, before I reach out and stab into the mirror, shattering the glass.

Em:
As the prong touches the glass, it cracks, spider webbing out from the point of impact, the sound echoing so much louder than it should. And while you expect the glass to fall down on top of the banquet below, it falls into itself, with a space of bright white expanse, with a sickly green glow appearing behind it. A smell immediately rushes out, it smells of decay. But, not like wasting sickness. It's a mustiness, akin to the bookshop. It smells old. Very, very old. But you do have space to climb inside it if you wish.

Jannes (as Rake):
“I’ll, I'll go first.”

Gina (as Ever):
“He wants something from me.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“Then I should go first.”

Gina (as Ever):
“I think it's alright. I hope.”

Jannes (as Rake):
“I trust you.”

Gina (as Ever):
“Let me.”

Gina:
I will climb in.

Em:
Rake, do you climb in behind her?

Jannes:
I do.

Em:
You climb in to the glass, almost as if you're climbing into a new space, a pocket room. And the second the both of you step through, you feel yourself begin to be pulled through what seems to be like a tunnel. Whirling wind surrounds you as you begin to rocket forward, falling, hurtling sideways through this space. You try and get your bearings as you're whipped around. And I'm gonna have you make some rolls for me here. If you could each roll 2d6 for me, please.

Jannes:
I rolled a seven.

Gina:
I rolled two sixes.

Em:
Okay, a seven and a twelve. Would you like to start with the higher or the lower number first?

Jannes:
After you.

Em:
Okay, we will start with the twelve. You are pulled through this space, whirling around each other. You're maybe no more than a foot or two from each other at any point. Whipping around, you feel the fabric of your clothes, your hair, your belongings, which you all carry with you, moving with you. But you have no control where you're going. And there's this moment where you realize you need to let go. And you do. Ever, you think back to that question. When you try to recognize who this person was. There is a moment where you think, is this the Weave? Is this magic itself pulling me somewhere? But no, this is purposeful, intentioned. Maybe an interweaving of the both. This being wants you to come to them. But the Weave needs to show you something first. You continue to rocket. And then you start to slow down, finding yourself and Rake suspended in a moment.

It is almost as if you're able to peer in on this time, this moment, this space. There's an opulence to it. It reeks of divinity, almost nauseously so. And first you see a being in a crisp charcoal gray sherwani coat and matching dhoti pants striding down a long hallway. Sharp features, a sly smile, salt and pepper hair coiffed neatly, longer on the top and slicked back, well short and cropped on the sides. You hear the rhythmic clicking of his shoes on the reflective tile floor, that sounds like a metronome keeping time, or a ticking clock. Even, paced, continuous. You see this cocky, self assured smile. This is the visage of a man with a plan and the tools and the resources to get it done. You watch his face as he nods to whom you assume are other people that you cannot see, as you are focused on him. And your eyes drift down to a pocket watch inside his front pocket that he grasps absently. It glows a slight green. Corrupted. This man, this god, has told a lie so great that even he has begun to believe it. It's bigger than him. And somehow, even if he can't accept it, he knows that it will be his undoing. And in this moment that you are witnessing here. You may ask me one question, and I will answer it, but the answer will most certainly be a lie.

Gina:
What was the lie that he told?

Em:
Hmm. The lie that he told was that he was in control, and acted solely over his domain. With no outside help. As you sit here, you begin to slip from this moment, feeling the pull towards another ripple in the timeline. You are traversing the space where the Weave, time, and the rest of the cosmos intersect. Time. Time. You thought you'd had more time.

Rake, as you move through this space, tell me a moment where you wish you could return to. Not change in any way, but return to look at it again.

Jannes:
I think for Rake there aren't many moments that he holds fondly. His mind would drift to a moment shared with his father. But there is one that burns brightest. And he would, if he could, return to that moment in the staircase.

Em:
Hmm. You continue to move. And you find yourself slowing again. Your vantage point is different in this second vision. You see the same man in the suit, except you are looking up at him, lying prone on the floor. He stands above you, looking gaunter and sickly, different than we saw him previously. He holds a knife that looks like a Eutochan blade, the one that you carry but not. Looks like your corrupted blade, but different. This one is jagged, and drips with a green oil, that same sickly green. You feel a sucking wound in your chest as you both suffer a strain here. The pain deeply evident as you feel yourself bleeding out. You are so deep within this vision that you are embodying the pain of the person that you're inhabiting. Your body is that of a statuesque femme-presenting person with long dark brown hair, and silver blood is pouring from your chest. This man above you, you know he created you. He was your keeper. He tended to you while you played the universe into existence. You kept the universe in harmony. You feel a hatred, an emotion so desperately foreign to you that it wells up inside you as you do something that no other divine entity, god or otherwise, has ever done up until this point. You curse him. With your dying breath, hearing a raspy voice escape you,

Em (as Lavinia, The Harmonic Keeper):
“Thou shalt never live in harmony, and will spend an eternity in discord.”

Em:
A cracking sound as this curse impacts him, and you watch with a righteousness to you as he shatters into untold pieces that are then whisked away from this place, this amphitheater that you're in, lying, dying on a stage. As it begins to crumble around you, you hear screaming, you start screaming, but it doesn't matter. The harp is gone, taken for safekeeping. The universe will play onward. There will be another Harmonic Keeper. The show must go on. And in this vision, you may ask me one question here, and I will answer, but it is unclear whether the answer will be truth or a lie.

Jannes:
Did the man who killed this person laying here, did he love her?

Em:
He did. As a parent would love a child. You feel yourself now loosening from this time, leaving the body of this entity. Were they a god? Or someone created by the gods for the purpose of tending the Weave and the universe? You feel the pull of one final thread of this tapestry, popping in and out of a fractured life. A cursed life.

Ever, tell me a moment that you wish lasted longer. What moment ended too quickly?

Gina:
I think she thinks about all the times she spent with Davos, when he was sick and fading. But one morning, one morning when he woke up and remembered who she was.

Em:
Mm.

Gina:
So clearly. It was like he was back, and it only lasted for a few minutes. She thinks about that moment often. Then he knew her. And then it was gone. And that was the last time.

Em:
Time is fleeting. Time marches onward. Ever forward. Ever onward. You move through this space, this tunnel through time, this liminal space. And you come to a last vision. You both find yourself looking in on a desolate scene, almost suspended in midair or on a cliffside nearby. You're looking down at a cove, a bay with a large craggy beach, with black sand and tar pools. The water laps on the shoreline, and you can smell the radiation. Something has died here. A god has died here. Your eyes draw further up the beach and you see a massive corpse of a god, completely skeletal, half submerged in the depths. Its bones are riddled with lightning scorch marks and its hands are extended up, a failed attempt to pull itself out of the water and away. There is no flesh nor clothing, no markings of which god this was. But you know this was a very long time ago or very far away.

There are no oceans or seas in the Cradle anymore. As you zoom in, you see something scurrying in and out of the ribs, down into the partially open chest cavity. Your eyes wander and you see a humanoid figure moving about, and, Ever, this is a more whole version of the figure that spoke to you in the mirror. As if not as far along in its decay, you see him attempting to crack a bone in half, wedging his hand into the sliver created by one of those lightning marks, no doubt, and attempting to scoop something out. His hand emerges with some small amount of a shining, viscous substance as he begins to devour it. And as he does, the skin on his body seems to brighten and revitalize ever so slightly. It's not much, but it's something. He must consume to survive now, a fraction of his former power.

Suddenly he shifts, his eyes darting to some noise from outside. From your vantage, you can see a small femme presenting person, petite in stature with a pixie-like face. She has iridescent freckles across the bridge of her nose and rosy cheeks, with long white hair braided intricately with ribbons of sage green. She wears a jacket and pants of opalescent white, trimmed with silver and platinum underneath a cornflower blue cloak. She pulls the hood off, looking around. A small gray bird flies overhead chirping down at her. The sound is barely audible amongst the crashing of the waves.

Em (as Allseia):
“Do you see him? Allegro? I wish... I was almost sure he was here. But what do I know? Just as soon as I find one, there is another, and another, and another.”

Em:
The bird lands down on her shoulder and she looks around, raising a hand to her mouth to call.

Em (as Allseia):
“Brother, brother, where are you? Please come home. Mother and I can help you. Hope is not lost, brother. You don't have to live like this. Please, in the name of our father who loved you so much, please. I beg of you, let me help you. The Fate can help you, the Weave can help you. I can help you. Mother's light will pull you forward, please. We will get you back on your meter.”

Em:
There is no response from the ghoul-like figure inside the rib cage. He stays still. His metronome stopped. Even this being searching for him knows better than to climb inside the dead body of another god. She doesn't stay long. Talking to the bird once more.

Em (as Allseia):
“Perhaps I read the Weave incorrectly. Maybe things were too early again. I have to find him, before Mother does something drastic, and stupid, and we lose more of the Cradle than we already have.”

Em:
Our gaze draws back once more to the man inside. Still. Except he cannot help himself as he reaches into the bones, and bringing another scoop of that shining substance up to his mouth once more, returning to devour the marrow within these divine bones. Anything to sustain him. Anything to feel a shred of the life and the power he once had. Now you may ask me one question here and I will answer. And it will most certainly be the truth.

Jannes:
I would ask, is this creature still capable of love?

Em:
Not anymore. At one point, he held a love so deep for the cosmos, and especially his sister, with whom he created most of the universe. But that has been stripped from him, and the farther and farther he goes, the further and further he comes from his capacity to love.

You feel a pull once more, whisked away through this channel towards what you hope is your final destination. You are unclear where, or now when, you are being taken, but someone long lost has seen fit to draw you to him. All of a sudden, you come to a screeching halt as you land on solid ground. You are both present, together, and alive. And I need each of you to roll 2d6 for me, and you're gonna give me the numbers one at a time. So we'll go with Ever first.

Gina:
I rolled a four and a two.

Jannes:
I rolled a three and a four, for a seven.

Em:
Ever, as you look at Rake, trying to come to your senses and catch your bearings, he looks older. If he was in his early twenties when you first knew him, he has aged. He is now in his mid to late twenties. Rake, as you look at Ever, you see any last vestiges of girlhood, any last trace of being a young woman, gone. If she was barely twenty when you knew her, she is now no younger than twenty-three. It is dark around you, and you hear a voice echo out from the shadows.

Matt (as Ungal):
“Welcome, children. I’m so very glad to have you amongst my presence.”

[Light & Dark: Series Theme by Sean McRoberts]
Em:
Godkiller: Balance is performed by Em Carlson, Gina Susanna & Jannes Wessels. The voice of Avaris Kerschel, The Scion of Perdition is Brennan Lee Mulligan. The voice of Ungal, The Undying is Matthew Mercer. This season’s dramaturge is Tim Carlson. Special thanks to our campaign artist, Mischi, who you can find @Mischiart on twitter! Our main theme for this episode, Light & Dark, was composed by Sean McRoberts. Character and location leitmotifs composed by Si Rutherford of Sounds of Adventure. Music and effects by Epidemic Sound. For more stories, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. To play your own campaign of Godkiller and dive into your own divinity, go support Godkiller by purchasing the ashcan on itch.io today, with the print version published soon by Evil Hat Productions. This show is made possible by our sponsors who graciously support us playing pretend and having feelings about it. We are grateful to be sponsored by Heroforge, who offer fully customizable miniatures made with their online 3D character creator! Head on over and design your own Godkiller, and get them printed in a variety of materials, including colour printing options! With new content added each week, check out www.heroforge.com to start bringing your character to life! This show is also proudly sponsored by Moonbeam, a better and safer way to stream! Dive into Realms for vibrant community hubs where creators keep 100% of what they earn while protected by Pyxis, a revolutionary moderation tool that learns and adapts to your boundaries. So check them out and join Moonbeam today! Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our second journey through the Cradle. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Godkiller bonus content and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. See you next time, heretics, and to all the gods out there, be safe!