BlackwaterDnD

Adam:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Sin Eater: Absolution is a miniseries using the Sin Eater system created by Anica Cihla. The Kickstarter for Sin Eater will be available on May 26th, 2025. Much of what you hear Adam say around the ritual of sin eating is read directly from the sourcebook. This series is proudly sponsored by Hero Forge & Hunter’s Entertainment. For this story, the Sin Eater will be played by the wonderfully talented Jess Lupini, and I, Adam Lucas, will be acting as her journal.

Content warnings include: themes of death // desecration of a corpse // gore // misophonia // religious undertones // mentions of blood // complex family dynamics // depictions of mental illness // depictions of vomiting // depictions of disease // disordered eating // class inequality // depictions of spirits & the undead // mutilation

Content warnings can also be found in the episode description. So, sit back, and enjoy. We hope you are ever so hungry.

[slow heartbeats]

The life of a Sin Eater is not always a pleasant one. Regularly confronted as they are with what crawls from the deepest pits of the human soul, each episode may take us to a place that mirrors real world sources of pain and trauma. A list of the topics, themes, and subject matter featured has been included in the episode description. It is important to know that if at any point it becomes too much for you, our listener, and for both of us, Jess, we can take a break - that is an important part of this. Recognizing when we need to step away. After all, the meal that we will prepare here will not spoil until we are ready to return.

[striking of a match, that is afterward blown out]

Episode III: Wrath

Adam:
The last we left off, you had tended to the body of your one friend in the Evagrius family, Ira Evagrius. Ira, who was known for his wrath, had also somehow become your friend. But despite this, you decided to condemn his soul in this ritual, and condemn it you did, though not in the way that you had anticipated. Failing to balance his humours, you condemned his spirit to walk endlessly outside the walls of Shura.

There is a lump in your throat, as the night breathes softly around the Evagrius manor. The chill of months past not yet fully gone, but softened by the promise of warmth. A gentle mist clings to the earth, rising from the damp soil like a ghostly veil, carrying the scent of petrichor and budding greenery. The trees, that once stood skeletal, now bear the first whispers of a new life. Delicate leaves unfurling, pale blossoms trembling on their branches. The manor looms, as it always has, its stone facade dark and unyielding. Though tonight, the ivy that clings to its walls is touched with the first hints of green. Lanterns glow faintly in a few high windows, their light refracted in the lingering haze, casting shifting halos that dance in the night air. From the gardens beyond, the first crickets sing tentatively, their soft song, seemingly a dirge, weaving with the distant murmur of water trickling through the estate's old fountains. A warm breeze stirs through the courtyards and hidden walkways, carrying with it the perfume of damp earth and faintly blooming lilacs. Yet, beneath the season's renewal, the hush near the manor remains, that same quiet weight that has lingered since your first visit, as if the house itself refuses to wake.

Once more, you have been called to the manor. Once more, you make the solemn walk through the wrought iron gate. What is Caradog thinking as they trudge up this hill?

Jess:
Caradog is trying to still themselves. The air is warming around them, but they still feel cold, a chill that hasn't left, that has not abandoned them since this failure that occurred these months past. They've been taking it a little too personally, a little too close to home, and… It feels like something has changed. They've felt flashes of anger at inappropriate times, and each one feels like the ghost of a friend doomed to wander.

Adam:
You reach the door and you ring the bell, and the door opens with a low creak. And for a brief moment, you expect to see the withered retainer from before, his papery skin, his frail but knowing presence. Instead, however, a different man stands in his place. He looks no older than thirty, his sharp features set in an expression of quiet authority. His gloved hand gestures inward, the motion precise, controlled. He does not speak, nor does he linger. Turning on his heel, he moves forward with purposeful strides, leading you through the winding, hidden passages of the manor. These corridors, once familiar under the guidance of the elder servant, now feel different, colder, more… Deliberate. He does not glance back, but his silence carries the weight of expectations. You are meant to follow.

Jess:
Do I recognize this person from... Do they look like the person who was watching me?

Adam:
No.

Jess:
Okay. I follow.

Adam:
You come to a halt before a door, that weight of expectation settling over you. The stern man beside you, broad-shouldered, impeccably composed, and no less silent than his predecessor, regards you with an unreadable expression. His posture is rigid, his presence commanding, yet he does not speak. Perhaps, he must not speak. Instead, he lifts a gloved hand and gestures towards the door with deliberate finality. This is your destination. And once more, you must enter, Eidolon at your side.

Jess:
I linger my gaze on his eyes for a moment, and gesture with my gaze to the hallway that I know he will walk down as I leave. And I wait.

Adam:
For how long?

Jess:
Long enough to make… Long enough to make someone accustomed to social norms uncomfortable.

Adam:
There is an uneasy stillness between the two of you. A battle of silence as you stand and regard each other. For a moment you fear that you have doomed yourself to a life eternal, standing and waiting, until his arm moves and he reaches for the door handle, cracks it just slightly, and looks back at you expectantly.

Jess:
I smile and look down at Eidolon, who I usher through the crack in the door with the side of my boot. Gently, lovingly, but clearly.

Adam:
Eidolon slips through the small crack. Eidolon is now in the room alone.

[Eidolon meows]

Jess:
I take a deep breath in, and maintaining eye contact as long as I can, I slip into the dark room myself.

Adam:
A familiar body lays before you. And you now know why someone new greeted you at the door.

Jess:
Oh, no…

Adam:
Livor Verde, servant to the Evagrius household, is dead. His presence in death is as heavy as it was in life. Quiet, cloying weight lingers in the air, pressing against your skin, seeping into the marrow of this room. Even now, there is something grasping, something unsatisfied, like a hand reaching for what it can never hold. Though, whether it comes from the body or from within, you can't be certain. You need not be told what this man's sin was, for you have known that same envy. As always, not all sins are worthy of absolution, and that choice lies entirely with you. Whether you grant him passage to peace, or condemn his soul to wander beyond the walls of Shura, the judgment will be yours alone to bear. What are you striving for?

Jess:
I… I must absolve this man.

Adam:
As always, you carry with you ritual implements. Items that are touched by the spirit. Essential to your work here. Have those changed since last you were here?

Jess:
No they have not.

Adam:
You must also find within this room, items extrinsic, found in the home, sutured to flesh.

Jess:
I search the room for a utensil of some kind. What can I find?

Adam:
You search the room, and it is on his body that you find an old silver spoon, tarnished, used for years, but obviously deeply treasured. On the end, the tip of the handle, is the seal of the Evagrius house. A gift from the benefactor of this house, to a lifelong servant. A humble teaspoon.

Jess:
Before I can continue, I need to find a broom as well. Is there any such thing in the room, or would I need to look elsewhere?

Adam:
For the first time, you cannot find what you need within this room. And so, with a flicker of trepidation in your heart, you must venture out.

Jess:
Normally I would let Eidolon move ahead of me, but, I fear for her safety outside of this room, so I carefully open the door and slip out, giving her a look, and hoping that she understands that I will be back soon.

Adam:
As the door creaks open, you hear as if they were waiting for this. Footsteps. Sharp clacks against the hard floor. And by the time the door is fully open and you are outside of it, that same servant is standing where he had stood before you'd entered, [Jess chuckles] silent, but with a question in his eyes.

Jess (as Caradog):
“I need a broom. I need his broom. The one he would have used.”

Adam:
A small smile breaks the mask, and for a moment you are confused. For nothing you have said, in all of your attempts, ever got a whisper of emotion from this man's predecessor. And then it hits you, within this house, as affluent and influential as this family is… Even the servants have hierarchy. Despite being a servant, Livor Verde likely hadn't touched a broom in years. He ran things. You now understand that the servant you deal with is the most influential of them all.

Jess:
And I, I can glean all of this from that reaction?

Adam:
Yeah.

Jess:
Hmm.

Adam:
You put together, from all of your interactions with Livor and this reaction from this man.

Jess:
This is humiliating for me. Caradog is visibly upset that that's not something that they were able to come into this interaction already knowing.

Adam:
How does that manifest? Is it sorrowful, or wrathful?

Jess:
Closer to wrath, it's a defensiveness. And so, Caradog would, with a little bit too much emotion behind it, speak again.

Jess (as Caradog):
“When he started. In the early days. He swept, did he not?”

Adam:
There's a nod.

Jess (as Caradog):
“Yeah. Then that's what I need.”

Adam:
Once more, a small smile, almost… Almost like he is entertaining you, entertaining this strange request of a broom years, decades old. But he nods and walks away.

Jess:
I wait and I listen. As close as I can, and I close my eyes.

Adam:
As you stand with your eyes closed, you know you are watched.

Jess:
From where?

Adam:
It is hard to tell. It's not a direction, just a sense of… Being observed, you sense that you were allowed in this manor in the most limited of senses, and that you are never left alone fully to explore at your own whim. Should you try, you feel it likely you would be intercepted.

Jess:
Caradog, as they wait, they take out their journal from a pocket and… Despite there being almost no light, scrawl on a page, and if anyone were to look at the journal, not that they would for a long time, but if they were, they would notice that in the pages since the last time Caradog was in the Evagrius manor, there are many, blank pages. Smudges and bits of ink. Caradog has not been taking careful notes in the last few months, despite having carried out more rituals than they have in such a short time, for a while. And so they write on one page, ‘I feel at this moment, in knowledge that I am being watched, the excitement of the mouse that knows the cat observes them. Is that real? Perhaps I've entirely created this idea, but… I feel this excitement. I feel as if I want to be caught. As if… The prison or cell that my captors may take me to, would provide some new experience, some sight as yet unseen. I don't know why I want this. And perhaps I don't really. But something about it feels exciting.’

Adam:
Your journaling is cut short as you hear, clack, clack, clack, the rhythmic footsteps as the servant approaches with an ancient splintery broom, its bristles worn from decades of use. Whether this was used by Livor, or not, is anybody's guess. But, this is the oldest broom the servant could find, and that's the best suited for your uses.

Jess (as Caradog):
“This will do.”

Jess:
I say.

Adam:
He nods, and waits.

Jess (as Caradog):
“This is also all I need.”

Adam:
He nods and looks to the door.

Jess (as Caradog):
“You have nothing better to do.”

Jess:
That's maybe a question, maybe a statement.

Adam:
You see a smile that never reaches his lips. But that same light of amusement glitters in his eyes for a moment.

Jess:
I turn around. I quickly slip into the room, closing the door behind me.

Adam:
Eidolon paces impatiently.

Jess:
I pat her on the head. I take the broom, and I lay it on top of Livor, so the end of the handle sits on his forehead, and the very bottom of the broom, covered in dust, cobwebs, and god knows what else, sits nestled between his feet.

Adam:
Which item does this fulfill?

Jess:
This is penitence.

Adam:
I see.

Jess:
The spoon, I place on his chest. Now, I need to find one more. And, I fear that I'm giving too much of myself to this family already, but… That's what happens when I spend so much time in one place. And so, I flip back again through my journal, and I find a page where I wrote about Livor the first time I met him. Met, being a generous description for that particular interaction. And rather than rip it out this time, I transcribe it. I transcribe it twice, onto two new pages, the first time carefully, delicately, ensuring that every mote of ink is in precisely the place it was when I initially took those notes. And then the second time I rush, I scrawl. It's chaotic and… Represents a fun house mirror’s reflection of that first page I wrote. I carefully remove those two pages from my journal, having desecrated this book that is so important to me for yet another time, for the sake of this family, and if not the family, for the residents of this house. And I place one page in each of his hands. Generosity in one. Indulgence in the other.

Adam:
Which is which? Is the generosity in the time you took to be perfect, or was that an indulgence?

Jess:
I know that depending on your perspective, you could consider it generous of time, or indulgent to spend that much time, and vice versa, to rush to be able to… Complete something quickly, haphazardly, and without care, and to not face judgment for it, is a privilege that most do not have. An indulgence even. Whereas, can also be considered generous to not waste so much of someone's time, as to assume that the presentation is more important than the content. And I know that these things, these details that seem pedantic and pointless, even silly to an outside observer, are what the life of a servant is often built around.

Adam:
Well, it is time. As you finish setting up, I would have you describe the tableau that you have created, including the items intrinsic and extrinsic.

Jess:
I step back from the body, a broom, laying down the length. This silver spoon gifted to him, lying at his chest, and carefully placed in each hand two pages from the journal of the Sin Eater who had the misfortune to cross paths with this dedicated man.

Adam:
How do you… How do you include your items, intrinsic, those that you carry with you?

Jess:
There may be a time in which I will unwrap my ocarina, my ocarina, as if it belongs to me. Today is not that day. This piece of bark I have before me, it too is… Not mine, in any sense. I am renting these from history. And so, I must take care to use them as they came to me. Raw and plain. I place them before me as I always do.

Adam:
It is time to dim the lights, to speak thrice aloud the sins before you. To write the final entry before embarking on the ritual itself. And while you prepare your meal, as always, there is a song to sing. Whether that song has lyrics, whether that song is in your native tongue, or a language long dead, is up to you.

Jess:
Do you know the sound when you are searching for, perhaps a fork, that has disappeared in with the spoons or the knives, in a two-fold drawer of cutlery?

Adam:
Hmm.

Jess:
A twinkling, metallic symphony. It begins like that, a sound that, strangely enough, seems to come from the ocarina. A wind instrument. Perhaps these are wind chimes of some kind. And, as Caradog lights the candles, the flames dance in whatever wind chimes against these hanging forks and knives and spoons, that are nowhere to be found. And tCaradog begins to hum and then to sing.

Jess (as Caradog): [sung]
“Polish the silver, sweep the halls, you bow your head as duty calls. Another dines, another feasts, but, Livor, you take scraps for peace. So set the table, pour the wine, watch them toast what's never mine. You stand behind, unseen, unheard, their faithful dog without a word.”

Adam:
As you sing, you prepare a feast. Describe it.

Jess:
How much time did I have, Adam, in between when I was summoned, and when, and now? How long has it been since I was told to come here, and had the opportunity to ask them to prepare something?

Adam:
Quite some time.

Jess:
Excellent.

Adam:
When last you were here, it was the dead of a long winter. Now it is the early days of a hopeful spring. So, perhaps some hundred, hundred and ten days.

Jess:
And how long has it been since Livor passed?

Adam:
You know that you are called almost immediately.

Jess:
Mhmm.

Adam:
Perhaps a day, maybe two at a stretch.

Jess:
I have asked that they prepare the seven meals most commonly consumed in this house. The meals that over a lifetime of servitude, Livor would have most frequently smelled the aromas of. Perhaps plated, or carried the scraps back to the kitchen, in his early days before he rose to the status that he found himself at at death. And I asked that for each of these meals, all but one bite, a single forkful, be discarded and fed to the dogs. And whatever is left, one bite, one forkful, from each meal, from each item, these be placed in a circle on a plate.

Adam:
Your feasts is prepared. It is now time to balance the humours. I would have you place two coins before you. One the Baker’s, the other the Butcher’s.

Jess:
Okay, I'm ready.

Adam:
I will have you flip the Baker's Coin first.

Jess:
Okay, first time for the Baker's Coin is tails.

Adam:
Yellow bile.

Jess:
And then heads.

Adam:
Okay, the Baker's Coin is in balance.

Jess:
Now the Butcher's Coin. The Butcher's Coin comes up tails.

Adam:
Blood.

Jess:
And tails again.

Adam:
Blood once more. As you eat this meal, in an attempt to balance the humours, in an attempt to absolve this soul. The Baker's Coin is balanced. And as always, you have a vision. What is strange, though, is that the vision represents… Not Livor, but those that he has served. As you delve into the black bile, melancholy, depression… You see a face you don't recognize. A young, pretty woman, clearly an Evagrius. You see as Livor tends to her. Helps her out of bed. Helps her get dressed. Ushers her downstairs, encourages her to eat, all the while she bemoans the pointlessness of it all. Then your vision shifts. You see a familiar face in yellow bile. Ira, screaming into the face of Livor. Some small slight, some meaningless affront, has sent Ira over the edge once again. And he has taken his rage out on an easy target. Livor stands, calmly, passively, and allows a wave of rage to wash over him like a rock on the shore. And then the Butcher's Coin. Blood. Twice. Blood, for enthusiasm. Openness. You see Laute hosting one of his extravagant parties. You see Livor, serving guests. You see him instructing, conducting, almost, a symphony of service, as all the cooks and the servants and the maids move in perfect synchronicity, to serve Laute’s needs. It is a thing of beauty, how seamless Livor has made this. And yet, never a word of thanks from Laute. And the vision darkens, as Laute, regaling Livor of yet another tale of his victory in entertainment, not once acknowledging Livor's part, laughs with a grape in his mouth. [Jess chuckles] And it gets stuck. And his face goes red. And then it goes blue. And he reaches for Livor, and Livor watches. And leaves.

Jess:
Oh!

Adam:
And then blood again. Another figure, another face you've not yet met. Older. Beautiful. And the vision is unclear. Almost… Like it isn't your time to see it yet. But you get a sense of overwhelming avarice. You get a sense of Livor looking upon a woman who has it all and wants more. And the vision ends. In this moment, you know you have failed. Not catastrophically. There is not a discordance. But, like last time, there is an imbalance. The food is overpowering. It is… Woefully decadent. And you see in these visions, despite his actions towards Laute, you see there was a kindness that was kept hidden for so long that it turned stale. Allowing his… Disdain. It was Livor that started this all. It was Livor's inaction that brought you to this house for the first time. Perhaps, if not for this man before you, the death would have been later, and a different Sin Eater would have been chosen. As this happens, what goes wrong? Why is there too much blood?

Jess:
‘There is too much blood for the simplest, stupidest reason, and that is the blood is not only his, but mine. As I suspected, I'm in too deep with this family. Not just in the ways that I already understand, but in ways that I have yet to fully comprehend. Someone is watching. Someone brought me here. Someone wants me here. And I know this is not the final time I will walk these halls. I failed to account for this rogue element, that is myself.’ And these are the words I write in my journal, as I come to terms with the failure before me.

Adam:
For better or for worse, your meal is made and partaken upon. You place your two coins upon the eyes of the dead. Your work is done. And, as you place your coins, for the second time in a row, a figure apparates in the corner. [Jess sighs] There is no… There is no blame in his eyes. Just a tired understanding that you tried your best. And he dissolves. End the ritual. Unring the bell. Close the door. Salt the threshold. As always, you must speak thrice. A word for the person that was, a word for the body that is, and a word for the soul that will be.

Jess:
I clutch my journal to my chest and I speak,

Jess (as Caradog):
“Hollow. Weightless. Wandering.”

Jess:
As I close my eyes.

Adam:
As you sit in this failure, you know that there is one last task. [Jess sighs] One last duty assigned to you. Is that duty heavier today?

Jess:
That duty weighs heavily upon me. However… Caradog takes a particular, perhaps inappropriate enjoyment, at what will come next. They open the door. Is the servant there?

Adam:
As the door opens, the hinges creaking almost like it was intentional, like a bell, rung for the attention. And he is there.

Jess:
I speak,

Jess (as Caradog):
“Before I explain, you must understand this is not a final mockery, but an important piece of what is required. He… He is to be left where the masters dine. Place his body at the head of the dining table where he never sat. The house must decide what to do with what is left of this man. They must acknowledge him, in a way that they never did in life. That is a choice for them to make, for my work stops here.”

Adam:
As you say this, there are a few emotions that you catch. Brief confusion, and then an understanding, and then the shadow of gratitude. And as his eyes settle on yours, you see the familiarity. He steps into the room with the body of his father, and prepares to do as you told him. The son of Livor Verde, the successor of Livor Verde, goes to his sorrowful task. The solemnity of a man who knows that his lot in life is set in iron. He is looking upon his future. And you wonder for a moment… Why bring a Sin Eater for a humble servant? And the answer is simple. It's the same reason you bring a Sin Eater at all. For, who is best versed in the secrets of a house than the head of its service? You watch as a son carries the remains of his father out and up, towards where the main house exists.

Jess:
Before he disappears, while he's still in earshot, I say,

Jess (as Caradog):
“Did he ever speak to you about Laute?”

Adam:
He pauses for but a moment. His back to you. And he strides away.

Jess:
[sighs heavily] I feel the weight of this night heavy on my shoulders.

Adam:
There is already a lump in your throat. And now, the sins of this dead have not gone down easily. What has carried over from their life into your own?

Jess:
I’ve absorbed too much from what has gone on in this house. I know too much. I am supposed to only manage that threshold. And yet, somehow I found myself too deep in the living world, too deep in this family. And, I fear for what this entanglement will bring me in the coming months.

Adam:
You look back within the room. There is one last thing you must do. You must blow out the candle. Knock three times on the surface around it. To the left for what was, to the right for what will be. And on your final knock, you knock once below the candle. For you have sealed this man's fate, however inelegantly. Breathe. Take a moment.

The walk back to the door you use feels longer. You feel burdened. As you step out, there's a hill outside the walls. I can look upon the Evagrius manor. And you were used to the view of the moving of the spirits outside the walls, those wards and rituals keeping them outside. But upon that hill, with its view of the manor, you see a figure. Still. Unmoving. Looking down. You cannot see it, but you know that that spirit will stay there, locked in its envy, looking upon a house it spent its life in, yet never lived in. And that is where we are going to end tonight.

Adam:
Sin Eater: Absolution is performed by Jess Lupini and Adam Lucas. Special thanks to our campaign artist, Cenzi, who you can find as @cenzi03 on Instagram. Music and effects by Epidemic Sound and Si Rutherford. For more stories, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. This show is made possible by our sponsors who support us and allow us to tell the stories we want to share. We are grateful to be sponsored by Hero Forge, who offer fully customizable miniatures made with their online 3D character creator! Head on over and design your own Sin Eater, and get them printed in a variety of materials, including colour printing options! With new content added each week, check out www.heroforge.com to start bringing your character to life! We would also like to thank our sponsor Hunter’s Entertainment. Hunter's Entertainment is a premier purveyor of tabletop RPGs and board games, providing amazing alternative systems for whatever setting or scenario you want to bring to the table. With titles like Kids on Bikes, Alice is Missing, God's of Metal: Ragnarok, and of course, Sin Eater, Hunter's brings beautifully written & designed books to dive into with your players. Check them out at huntersentertainment.com and sink your teeth into something new. Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our first adventure within Shura. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Sin Eater bonus content and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. Thank you for listening, stay hungry and be safe.