BlackwaterDnD

Adam:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Sin Eater: Absolution is a miniseries using the Sin Eater system created by Anica Cihla. The Kickstarter for Sin Eater will be available on May 26th, 2025. Much of what you hear Adam say around the ritual of sin eating is read directly from the sourcebook. This series is proudly sponsored by Hero Forge & Hunter’s Entertainment. For this story, the Sin Eater will be played by the wonderfully talented Jess Lupini, and I, Adam Lucas, will be acting as her journal.

Content warnings include: themes of death // desecration of a corpse // gore // misophonia // religious undertones // mentions of blood // complex family dynamics // depictions of mental illness // depictions of vomiting // depictions of disease // disordered eating // class inequality // depictions of spirits & the undead // mutilation

Content warnings can also be found in the episode description. So, sit back, and enjoy. We hope you are ever so hungry.

[slow heartbeats]

The life of a Sin Eater is not always a pleasant one. Regularly confronted as they are with what crawls from the deepest pits of the human soul, each episode may take us to a place that mirrors real world sources of pain and trauma. A list of the topics, themes, and subject matter featured has been included in the episode description. It is important to know that if at any point it becomes too much for you, our listener, and for both of us, Jess, we can take a break - that is an important part of this. Recognizing when we need to step away. After all, the meal that we will prepare here will not spoil until we are ready to return.

[striking of a match, that is afterward blown out]

Episode VI: Greed

Adam:
Last we left off, Caradog of Barley and Bile had encountered the greatest of their failures to date. Administering to Tristitia Evagrius, whose sin was sloth, they had failed to balance the humours of Tristitia, and instead had left them discordant. Now, a creature of sloth, a spirit twisted, roams outside the walls of Shura.

The Evagrius manor rises ahead, it's silhouette softened by the haze of rain falling steadily through the spring night. The once familiar path glistens underfoot, slick with water and scattered petals, knocked loose from the orchard beyond. Cool droplets cling to your cloak and gather at your collar as you ascend slowly, the night alive with the muted patter of rain against stone and leaf. You sluggishly slip through the seldom used wrought iron gate, its hinges damp and silent, and glance upward. A figure stands, framed in one of the high, narrow windows, their shape blurred by the watery glass and the shifting shadows within. You cannot make out their face. But even through the curtain of rain, you feel the chill of their gaze lingering on you, following your approach.

By the time you reach the servant's door, your breath is heavy, and the air is thick with the scent of wet earth and budding green, and the manor grounds stir faintly, as though exhaling with you, after long dormancy. You pull the cord and the low toll of the knell resonates from within, a sound not lost to the rain, but carried through it, solemn and deliberate. You were greeted by Livor's son, all angles and somber propriety. He silently beckons you inward, in a ritual that has become second nature to you by now. Through the bowels of the Evagrius manor, you are led, but you move slower than before. Your previous failures here feel like a yoke at your neck, an anchor that drags at your every movement. Your last visit here ended in disaster. And since, you have not been able to shake the heavy shackles of melancholy, your days have been beshadowed by the looming presence of Tristitia's great sin of sloth. In failing to choke down that meal, you have been slowly suffocating by her misery. There is a desperate hope within you that you may absolve not just the dead here tonight.

Lost in your thoughts, you do not realize the stern young man has been standing silently still before a closed door for more than a few moments. He watches you with inscrutable eyes, taking measure of the weight of your thoughts. A soft, silent judgment, perhaps? Or perhaps an impassivity to your woes. What does Caradog think he is thinking?

Jess:
Caradog can think of nothing but the judgement others are imposing on them for their failings. They're consumed by it.

Adam:
As you glance at him, he gestures at the door, and he leaves immediately. He does not wait for you to enter, just turns heel and strides away. Does this change in routine upset Caradog?

Jess:
No. There's no reason to spend time with me. I have failed, and I may well fail again.

Adam:
The door is before you.

Jess:
[sighs] I sigh and hold a hand up in front of me, turning it forward and backward, feeling for the very slight breeze of air that still slithers around the space around me from when that door was opened. That spring air, it's just a little bit crisp. I look down at Eidolon, and… I smile for a moment, trying to forget everything else around me, and where I am, and the deed I'm about to do, and with a confidence that seems unearned, even to myself, I open the door and stride in.

Adam:
Within, Robin Evagrius, mother of the Evagrius family, rests with an uneasy poise, as though death itself were an arrangement that she has tolerated rather than embraced. Her hands, delicate and pale, are folded with care at her waist. There's a tension, though, faint in the fingers, as if they've only just been persuaded to lie still. A thin chain circles her throat, understated but precise, catching the low light in soft glints. There is a sense, standing near her, that something has been left unfinished. Her expression is composed, nearly serene, but there's a shadow at the corners of her mouth, a suggestion of a thought left unspoken or intentions half-kept. Even the air around her feels held, as though the room itself was waiting for her permission to exhale. Nothing about her display is lavish, and yet everything feels accounted for. The linen smooth, the candles trimmed, the silence perfectly maintained. Beneath the quiet dignity of it all, you can't help but feel as though Robin Evagrius has not quite let go. Here is where we come to a crossroads. For the choice rests with you, once more, to redeem or condemn. The folds of Robin's burial cloth seem to gather at her sides, like the corners of a purse drawn tight, guarding what little the grave allows. A cold reminder of her most prominent sin: greed. But it is in your hands, whether she is burdened with that mortal transgression eternally beyond the walls, or, whether she is put finally to rest in this ritual. What are you working towards?

Jess:
I think as Caradog takes stock of what's happening in this room, they would think about what they know of Robin. Has she come across their path in the past?

Adam:
I think… Robin was a woman of exceptional means. The sense you got from her was she was blind to those that did not share her wealth. Almost… Like two species, in her mind. Those that had, and those that did not. Any interaction you would have had with Robin would have been cold, and would have been dismissive.

Jess:
Despite the fact that Robin was likely someone who would have been, not disgusted by someone like Caradog, but simply dismissive of them, not giving them a second thought, despite this apathy or lack of empathy, Caradog sees something in her, and it's that this sin of greed, is a sin not acquired by Robin herself, but passed down through her family. This is… This is a second or third generational sin. And Caradog believes that the sins we are born with may well be the sins we die with, but if that is the case, we deserve absolution. And so they would choose to absolve.

Adam:
In this, Caradog creates a narrative for Robin Evagrius. Perhaps one of… Foolish ideology. Perhaps in the hope that we are all in some way worthy of absolution. You carry with you, as always, ritual implements. They have stayed the same for your previous five journeys here, have they changed?

Jess:
Not yet, but they might, very soon.

Adam:
Okay. You must also find those items extrinsic, found within the room, melded to the body. Components from around you. I'd like you to look at the list and choose at least three.

Jess:
I'd love to find it a utensil for her, something... Opulent, indulgent.

Adam:
You set about the room, and you look for a time. There are a few things that could work, but not perfectly. You find a chalice, gold, inlaid with gems. Almost ridiculous in its extravagance. It would be… Ostentatious, to say the least, to ever dare drink from a cup such as this. But if any would, it would be Robin.

Jess:
I take the chalice and turn it over in my hands like some artifact from another age. Some distant civilization that I can barely wrap my head around the customs of. And...

Adam:
This chalice would feed you and Gruffold for a year. Maybe more.

Jess:
I invert the chalice, I hold it upside down, and I place it over the lips of Robin Evagrius. So her mouth is entirely obscured by this upside down chalice sitting on top of her face. Caradog takes out their journal and flipping to a new page, they write the date at the top, and thinking to themselves, I believe for a moment, they began to sketch this opulent chalice that they were just holding, as they stare at it with almost confusion. Then they write, ‘I find myself before the body of Robin Evagrius. I seek the items extrinsic. The first, a utensil to consume, poised at her lips, this chalice. I believe I know what the third shall be, but the second eludes me. I do have one thought, but I fear… I fear that I must recall Livor's son, someone who I do not wish to speak to. But I must be brave. For if not now, then when?’ I close the journal and I open the door back to the hallway.

Adam:
You wait for a brief moment, and you hear the familiar steady footstep as Livor's son turns the corner, and looks at you with a question.

Jess:
I look down, I do not make eye contact. I stammer,

Jess (as Caradog):
“A ledger. I need her ledger. If it's locked, that is still suitable. Her records, her debts, her accounts.”

Adam:
He pauses for a moment. It occurs to you, the money Robin spent may not have been her own, and thus, she may not have been the one responsible for accounting it. He hesitates, as if pondering this predicament. And then he nods, and he leaves. And you wait for some time, and he returns. He doesn't quite have what you asked for. There is no accounting. There is a list. A list of wants, desires. A list handed to someone else, to go fulfill a gratification. Jewelry, dresses, paintings, art. Ornaments. [chuckles] Your eyes roll almost at this list of things that would change your life forever if you had but one, and she has asked for many, with a casualness like one asking for a roll of bread.

Jess:
From whom did she request these things? This excess?

Adam:
At the top is written, ‘My dearest husband’.

Jess:
And he gave her everything she wanted?

Adam:
Each item on the list is marked with a line through it. A task completed.

Jess:
[sighs deeply] Hm. There is a part of me that regrets my decision to seek absolution, as I pore over this information and I think about how this sin that first appeared from the face that I could see to be simple greed… That this sin was obscuring behind it, a more complex slurry of sins, minor and major, of a gluttony, of an overconsumption. Seeking things for which you are not responsible for paying. This… Sloth of a preoccupation with the trivialities of the material, and the envy, that I understand all too well, is necessary. The covetous rage required to seek something you've seen in the possession of another. And as I think these things, I pause for too long. I look up for a moment, self conscious of the time I've spent standing in the hallway in front of Livor's son.

Adam:
You are alone.

Jess:
I am accustomed to being so.

Adam:
As you lost yourself in these papers, Livor’s son, without you noticing, silently retreated. But you discovered a woman who needed for nothing, but wanted everything.

Jess:
I re-enter the room and close the door behind me and continue the entry in my journal, ‘This woman,’ I write, and I do not know from where the words come, ‘Needed for nothing and wanted for everything. And if I am being honest with myself,’ I write, ‘If I am being fully honest with myself, though I am loathe to do so… I suffer from but one of those things.’ I close the journal. I take the letter, the ledger of requests, and I carefully fold it in half lengthwise, then again, and once more. And I place it close to her chest, for while I had been searching for a fragment of fear, something that represented the outside observation of the sheer amount of wealth that she had accrued and spent, what I found was something that belongs much closer to the heart. For, her relationship with her husband clearly meant a lot to her, although not in the way that… I trail off my own thought as my mind is drawn to the piece of tree bark I keep on me at all times, with those initials carved into it. Writing in my journal one more time, I say, ‘Love should not be like this.’ And I step back. A wave of nausea comes over me. And I know what I must do for the final item extrinsic. I… I reach into my pocket and I withdraw a tarnished coin that has been with me for some time. I acquired it over a bet, over drinks with, not friends, not acquaintances, simply people, many moons ago. And I place it in Robin's left hand. In her right, I place nothing. Generosity, from me. A rare act of charity from someone so self-focused. And in the other hand, an indulgence. The indulgence of an opening, a space, the absence of something. For that, in a person of such means as Robin, with someone like her husband to provide anything she wanted for her, that emptiness, that vacuum, is limitless potential. Which to me, is the most indulgent thing there is.

Adam:
As you finish setting up, Busying yourself with the minutiae of the ritual, you turn back, and her fist is closed tight over the coin. Her fingers are rigid and grasping. Describe the tableau that you have created.

Jess:
This opulent, ridiculous chalice, inverted on the mouth of this corpse. Left hand closed around this coin of mine, this dirty, stained, rusted coin of unknown metal and unknown value. The other hand, open and limp. And then at her heart, folded neatly and carefully, the letter, of means, of access. The face of her greed

Adam:
We come to the time. Dim the lights, speak thrice aloud the sins before you. Write your final entry before embarking on the ritual itself. As you begin to prepare your meal, as always, there is a song you sing. In this moment, what song do you choose? What words do you sing? What tune do you hum? What dirge do you offer to the solitary dead?

Jess:
As I sit down, as I kneel before my items intrinsic, I notice that the cloth wrapping the ocarina is entirely… Entirely soaked through with blood. I hum, in a soft voice to test whether it will respond to me, [hums a single, held tone] but I hear nothing. Unsure of how to proceed, I look to Eidolon. When she was young, I used to speak to her and imagine that she would respond. And so I call out to her, as I speak,

Jess (as Caradog):
“What's been sold? What have you told?”

Jess:
And I listen, and I can almost imagine that I hear her respond, ‘Only gold.’ And so I ask again,

Jess (as Caradog):
“What's the price? What's Robin's vice?”

Jess:
And she looks at me, cocks her head to the side, and can almost imagine her soft voice in my head speaking to me, ‘Chains.’ And so I stand up, and breaking from my own tradition, my own habit, I take a step towards the body, that chain around her neck. I grasp it in one hand, and I pull.

Adam:
The chain, though thin, is difficult to break. Almost like… Robin still clutches to it, greedily. But she is dead. And you are not. And so eventually, with a little effort, you feel the clasp snap and come free. You stand over her body, a chain in your hand.

Jess:
I roll up one sleeve of my stained, worn shirt, and under where the cuff would sit, I wrap the chain and tie it in a loose, crude knot, unbecoming of a piece so fine. I fold my shirt back over the metal, and touch it with my other hand, and return to my seat. I must continue.

Adam:
That you must. It is time to prepare your feast now. What have you chosen? What do you find?

Jess:
So, I have asked for… I’ve asked for a small plate, like a side plate, that one might eat a… Appetizer or dessert from.Certainly nothing that I come across at most of the places I eat my meals. But I've asked it to be stacked as high as possible, overflowing with too much food. A little bit of everything. A little bit of bread. A bit of meat. Roast vegetables. Onions, garlic, herbs, so many that their flavours muddle together, undoing the spice that they would add to the meal. Honey drizzled on top of it all. Grains poured on top, many of which have not made it down to this room. It is a plate of excess. A plate nobody would want to eat all of. And even if they were able to, it would leave them feeling uncomfortable, with a rumbling in their stomach that had nothing to do with emptiness. I devour it all.

Adam:
Your hands shake, just a little, as you reach to place two coins before you. You face once more the part of the ritual that is so replete with failure. You are afraid of this step.

Jess:
Yeah.

Adam:
But it must be done. Place your coins. One for the Baker’s, one for the Butcher’s. Each side representing one of the four humours.

Jess:
Okay. First, I flip the Baker's Coin.

Adam:
Okay.

Jess:
I flipped the… I slide the Baker's Coin around in my hand and then, after a moment's thought, I flip it. And it comes up… Heads.

Adam:
Black bile. Flip it once more.

Jess:
[sharp exhale] I’m so afraid. It's tails.

Adam:
The Baker's Coin lies in balance. But what does the Butcher's Coin hold in store for us?

Jess:
I set the Baker's Coin to the side, and I pick up the Butcher's Coin, flipping it back and forth across my hand, along the backs of my fingers, leaving that cold feeling of metal against my knuckles, and I flip it. Heads.

Adam:
Phlegm.

Jess:
And once more. It's tails. [sighs] I sigh with relief.

Adam:
Black bile, yellow bile, phlegm and blood. You have found harmony in each of the humours. As you delve into this meal, delve into the balancing of the humours, you are visited, as always, by visions. What's interesting is, they start out of order. You start at blood. You see an enthusiastic young woman. She is not poor, but she is by no means wealthy. She's vibrant. She's happy. And she… Journeys through her life. She meets a man. He is handsome. He is proud. And they fall desperately in love. He promises her the sun and the stars. He promises her a life beyond her imagining. He promises her the world, and he intends to deliver it.

We move. The vision shifts. Takes a yellow tint. Ambition. She was promised everything, and something somewhere down the line changed. As she did not just hope for things, she desired them, grasped for them, needed them. Something in her changed. Something in her husband changed. Right around, it was strange, for he promised her everything, and not long after, soon was able to deliver. Almost overnight. The success rolled in, and at first they reveled and felt joy. And the vision shifts, as the joy turns to aloofness. Phlegm. Cold. Why would you find joy in such mundane things as wealth? There are other things to have. And their lives continued, and her hunger grew.

The vision shifts once more, grows darker and bilious. She looks at her family, at her children. Each one… Burdened. There are brief moments of lucidity in her life as she ponders. Would she and her family have been happier living the simple, comfortable life that she had grown up in? But, then a new art piece arrives, and those thoughts are quickly washed away with that next ever-present desire. It's almost like it's not her own. Like something feeds on her greed. You've felt this before, this… Unnatural proclivity to sin. There is a rot in the center of the Evagrius house. A rot that grows deeply. This is the first time you have seen scenes of the person they were before the fall. And there is one thing that comes before the fall, and he waits for you. As your vision clears, there is a calmness that settles over the room. Each simple ingredient that you have asked for, subtly complements the balancing of these humours. Your meal is made. You partake in its goodness. How do you consume the meal?

Jess:
Once the first bite touches my lips, I cannot stop. I eat and eat. But it feels like no matter how much I take, it never seems too empty. The taste sits on my tongue. Unpleasant, greasy, sticky, too many flavours. Cloying. A sweetness that does not belong, and yet, despite my revulsion at the combined overwhelming excess of this meal, I'm already sated. I have already succeeded. I feel it. And I know that whenever I do complete consuming everything on this tiny towering plate, I will have won.

Adam:
As you lose yourself in the consumption of this meal, you fail to notice as her clutched hand relaxes. You alleviate her of greed and death. The room's atmosphere changes. There's a welcome air. You feel a sigh, like a held breath kept for a lifetime. You see the faint figure of Robin Evagrius stand where her children have stood before her, for better or for worse, and then evaporate. She will not wander. She is free. And your work is done. For now. End the ritual. Unring the bell. Close the door and salt the threshold. To sever the link you must speak thrice. A word for the person that was. A word for the body that is. And a word for the soul that has been freed.

Jess:
I take a deep breath, I exhale, and I speak.

Jess (as Caradog):
“Tender. Tarnished. Transformed.”

Adam:
It is time to take out the trash. How will the remains of Robin Evagrius be handled?

Jess:
I write my instructions for her remains on a page, and leave it beside the body. On that page it says, ‘Strip her naked. Remove all that she owned. All that she once desired. Leave her with nothing, but what was hers in the eyes of the gods, and allow nature to take her. To return her to the soil. To consume her, as she is freed.’

Adam:
You break the tether of the ritual, successful as it was. Shake yourself free of the tension. And though the meal is heavy, you feel lighter. You leave. You wander out. The soft rain is cooling, and you welcome it. It is only when you are half way down the path that you pause. You look back at the window. There stands a figure. Looming. Waiting. And though you cannot see their face, you know that they are smiling. For they will see you soon. And that is where we are going to end. Thank you for listening.

Adam:
Sin Eater: Absolution is performed by Jess Lupini and Adam Lucas. Special thanks to our campaign artist, Cenzi, who you can find as @cenzi03 on Instagram. Music and effects by Epidemic Sound and Si Rutherford. For more stories, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. This show is made possible by our sponsors who support us and allow us to tell the stories we want to share. We are grateful to be sponsored by Hero Forge, who offer fully customizable miniatures made with their online 3D character creator! Head on over and design your own Sin Eater, and get them printed in a variety of materials, including colour printing options! With new content added each week, check out www.heroforge.com to start bringing your character to life! We would also like to thank our sponsor Hunter’s Entertainment. Hunter's Entertainment is a premier purveyor of tabletop RPGs and board games, providing amazing alternative systems for whatever setting or scenario you want to bring to the table. With titles like Kids on Bikes, Alice is Missing, God's of Metal: Ragnarok, and of course, Sin Eater, Hunter's brings beautifully written & designed books to dive into with your players. Check them out at huntersentertainment.com and sink your teeth into something new. Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our first adventure within Shura. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Sin Eater bonus content and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. Thank you for listening, stay hungry and be safe.