BlackwaterDnD

Adam:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Sin Eater: Absolution is a miniseries using the Sin Eater system created by Anica Cihla. The Kickstarter for Sin Eater will be available on May 26th, 2025. Much of what you hear Adam say around the ritual of sin eating is read directly from the sourcebook. This series is proudly sponsored by Hero Forge & Hunter’s Entertainment. For this story, the Sin Eater will be played by the wonderfully talented Jess Lupini, and I, Adam Lucas, will be acting as her journal.

Content warnings include: themes of death // desecration of a corpse // gore // misophonia // religious undertones // mentions of blood // complex family dynamics // depictions of mental illness // depictions of vomiting // depictions of disease // disordered eating // class inequality // depictions of spirits & the undead // allusions to suicide // mutilation

Content warnings can also be found in the episode description. So, sit back, and enjoy. We hope you are ever so hungry.

Welcome to episode seven of Sin Eater. Joining me, as always, is Jess. Hello Jess.

Jess:
Hey Adam.

Adam:
The life of a sin eater is not always a pleasant one. Regularly confronted, as they are, with what crawls from the deepest pits of the human soul. Each episode may take us to a place that mirrors real world sources of pain and trauma. A list of the topics, themes, and subject matter featured has been included in the episode's description. It is important to know, if at any point this becomes too much, for you, our listener, and for the both of us, Jess, we can take a break. That is an important part of this, recognizing when we need to step away. After all, the meal that we prepare here will not spoil until we are ready to return.

Last we left off, Caradog of Barley and Bile had successfully administered to Robin Evagrius, the mother of the Evagrius house. You had allowed her to separate from the greed that had held her so tightly before, and to pass on to whatever unknowable fate is afforded to the spirits that are freed. Six visits. Six deaths. Six meals. The Evagrius manor rises ahead, its silhouette looming in the dim, colourless night. Mist clings low to the ground, curling around your steps, as you make your way up the winding path. The air is damp and cool, thick with the scent of stone and old growth, pressing close against your skin. Each branch, every shadow along the edge of the path, they all seem to reach, as if everything itself is waiting for you to come closer. Dares you to keep going. Out amongst the foliage, you see skeletal remains. They had listened to your instructions. Six visits, six deaths, six meals. At the wrought iron gate you pause, your hand brushing over the cold metal, before you slip through. Without even thinking, your eyes lift to the tall, narrow window above the entrance. There is nothing there. No figure watching, no flicker of movement beyond the glass, only the blank, empty dark. The absence unsettles you in a way that the gaze never did. Six visits, six deaths, six meals. You reach the servant's door, and find the cord, your fingers wrapping around it before you can second guess why you've come back this final time. You pull once, the bell answers. A low, distant toll that seems to roll through the very bones of the house. Six visits, six deaths, six meals. And then, without warning, the door swings open. No greeting, no footsteps, just the open threshold, and the silent waiting dark beyond. Six visits, six deaths, six meals. You wander, like in a dream, through the dim halls of the manor you have so frequently visited. Through the meandering corridors and narrow passageways, you sway, until finally you come upon a set of ornately carved doors.

Six visits. Six deaths. Six meals. You stand outside doors that are… Not like the ones you are used to. There is the sense of invitation. You are welcome to open.

Jess:
I shiver at the strange isolation. Carefully, I push the door open, gesturing in for Eidolon to lead me.

Adam:
The doors swing open, one on each hand, and you find yourself looking upon a grand dining hall. A long table set for many guests sits before you, and at the far end sits a figure. He is a
handsome, older man, tall and broad. You look upon the honourable Lord Evagrius.

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“Caradog of Barley and Bile, the one who's been cleaning up after us, after them. Tell me, sin eater, how many of my family have passed beneath your hands now? How many coins laid? How many prayers whispered? How many burdens tasted? And still, here you stand. Come at last before me. Fitting. I suppose I always knew that this was how it would end. You've seen what's left of them. Robin, the children. You know their sins better than I ever did. You have tasted their misery, self-wrought, as it was. But tell me, do you know why they rotted the way they did? Did they whisper that part to you as they went cold? No? Then allow me the honour.

I made a bargain. Yes, I chose this. There was a time I thought it was the only choice left to a man like myself. You do not gather a wealth like this without a blade sharper than your neighbours. You don't raise a name like Evagrius out of the mud without bleeding for it. So, when the offer came, I took it. Riches, power, influence. Everything the world could put in my hands, and the cost... I was too proud to consider the cost. Too headstrong. But the cost... The cost was them. Not all at once, no, no… It crept in slow, like ivy through cracks. Robin, my dear, lovely Robin. She felt at first, a little extra wanting. A little more hunger, harmless at the beginning. And the others followed. But you've seen that, haven't you? In each of them, how their edges dulled and sharpened all at once. How they were pulled apart by the very worst of themselves. But you cannot tell me they weren't already inclined toward it! My choices merely gave it room to bloom. And the children, you know them as well as I did. Each so eager to become what was worst in them. But what could I do? Break the deal? Starve the house? Send us to ruin? Watch it all crumble and leave nothing behind but my failure? No, better to keep the wheel turning. Better to pretend it wasn't my fault. I was doomed to watch the fruit of my family tree turn rotten and fall, until only I was left.

But now you are here. And here am I. You've carried their sins, so tell me, sin eater, will you carry mine as well? Or is this where you finally leave the burden where it belongs? Tell me, Caradog of Barley and Bile, do you think I deserve peace? Or will you damn me, like the others?”

Jess (as Caradog):
“If I may… For they say, that it cometh before the fall, but, what fall shall befall you? Why am I here? You yet live. I have no corpse to examine. I cannot do my work observed, I have to answer your question, voiced what feels like an eternity ago already. It has been six, six of your family.”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“Hmm.”

Jess (as Caradog):
“Twelve coins. Six souls. More than I… More than I would have liked. Lost, to a place I do not envy. But you, your soul still... Well, where does your soul sit? Where does it reside?”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“That is for you to determine. You say that you have administered to six of my family, yet only five bore my name. Livor. Livor was a foolish mistake. A slip of the tongue, I said in a moment of… Uncharacteristic kindness, that his service to me had been a great boon. That I looked at him like a father. And thus he began to twist.”

Jess (as Caradog):
“What evil is this that rips not only those owed, that you gave knowing, owing, but those who you would bring into your fold, even with simply throwaway words?”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“There are many evils in this world, Caradog of Barley and Bile. Some are unknowable. Some are self-made. I know not with whom I sealed this bargain. Only that I sealed it, and have watched… As all I have wrought, turn to rust and ruin. But they lived well. And the name Evagrius will live on.”

Jess (as Caradog):
“By what means?”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“By what we have made. What I have crafted. Many families have grown comfortable on the Evagrius pay. I have done much for this city. They will remember me.”

Adam:
You get the sense that this is a lie he is telling more to himself than to you.

Jess:
I begin to walk around the table towards him. I... As I do so, I reach down and pluck Eidolon off the ground, holding her in my arms, stroking her behind the ear as she begins to purr.

Jess (as Caradog):
“So, answer me this. For, if you'll pardon… If you'll pardon my lack of decorum, I have questions, and it is not often that those whose sins I consume are of sound enough mind and body to answer my questions direct. Firstly, why do you seek my counsel in this moment? Why not first that of... At the most cowardly, an assassin? And were you able to... Work up the courage, use simply your own blade and the instructions that I be summoned? I do not understand.”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“Consider it a final gesture of generosity. The mechanisms of my death have already been accounted for. That is not why you are here. You are here, as always, to absolve or condemn. The choice is yours.”

Adam:
You notice in front of him, an almost ridiculously ornate goblet.

Jess:
Is it the same one?

Adam:
It is the same one, that has been drained of its contents.

Jess (as Caradog):
“You speak as if it is my choice. You speak as if I do not know evil. You speak my name, my moniker, Barley and Bile, as if you do not know the reason those words follow me around. I cannot choose for you until… Hmm. When I encounter the dead, I must look deep within myself and within the soul before me, to try and understand enough about what has occurred, that I can make the right choice, the true choice, of whether to absolve or condemn. You have… Minutes, hours? I know not, but there are still choices that lie before you. You spoke a moment ago of a truth that, to my ears, rings hollow, and I cannot imagine a man as worldly as yourself would not also hear the hollow ring of falsehood in your own words. You leave behind nothing. You leave behind ripples that soon will be of a smaller amplitude than the waves created by the tiniest insect that lands in a droplet of oil floating on the pond. You know this, and yet you speak to me as if you have left something of true value behind, and as if that will affect your eternal soul, that which you lost everything, to create a path for in this life.”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“You will not even allow me to indulge in one last moment of pride?”

Jess (as Caradog):
“Do not misunderstand me. If you should drop dead this very moment, I shall make my choice. I shall complete the ritual. I shall knock. And your soul will find itself in one place or another. But given the time we have, I implore you, use what agency remains, and answer that question for me. What do you leave behind?”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“Hollow hopes and broken dreams. A bargain that proved too heavy.”

Jess (as Caradog):
“Before the bargain, who were you?”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“Just another man, hoping to make a name for himself.”

Jess (as Caradog):
“And now? Who are you now?”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“A shell. Replete with regret and sorrow.”

Jess (as Caradog):
“And tomorrow, when the clock strikes into the next day, and your blood runs hard and cold, who will you be then?”

Adam (as Lord Evagrius):
“That is not for me to decide.”

Jess (as Caradog):
“Ahhhh, this is the first moment where we enter my domain. You are right. That is for me to decide. Thank you. I believe I am ready.”

Adam:
The choice rests with you once more, to redeem or condemn. He sits before you, awaiting your judgment.

Jess:
This is a man whose sins, even now in his final moments, haunt him more than they ever could in death. It is folly to think that he could change, but greater folly still to seek punishment beyond that which has… To seek punishment beyond that which has ended the crime itself. Evagrius is done. This man's life is over. And so, I must absolve.

Adam:
After all this, seven sins faced. Seven meals, tasted. Well, not yet. But after all this… After hearing all that he has done, you choose to try and seek absolution. You carry with you ritual implements. Have they changed since last you were here?

Jess:
They are the same, except… It is time for me to unwrap the ocarina. As I withdraw it from my bag, I carefully peel back the sticky, saturated cloth. The fibers heavy under my fingers, to reveal the instrument beneath.

Adam:
A haunting somber sound sings out through the dining hall, and the Lord Evagrius convulses. As thick, sanguine ichor leaks from his eyes and ears, you are not sure if that is caused by the poison or by the sound of the ocarina itself. You yourself feel moisture on your cheeks, but you dare not see if they are tears or blood [Jess sighs]. You must also in this room find items extrinsic, and you must suture them to his still living flesh.

Jess: [quietly]
Oh…

Adam:
He looks at you, with foggy recognition.

Jess:
I walk towards him, and gingerly place Eidolon on the long table, where she begins to inspect the food, fruit, and bowls, as I continue towards the Lord Evagrius. Leaning over the shallow breathing man, I reach into his pocket and I look for keys. The keys to this home.

Adam:
You look through, patting him down. And in his delirium, he almost fights you. Like a drunk man who thinks he's being pickpocketed. You find a heavy set of keys, mundane for the most part. Except for one. Large, black wrought iron. It is suffused with an air of menace. Behind the lock which this key opens, you would find the many sins and crimes of the Lord Evagrius. The keys on this chain open parts of the house. But this key in particular opens a window to his past.

Jess:
I remove that black key from the ring. And I turn to him, and I say,

Jess (as Caradog):
“Have you still the energy to take off your shoes, my lord?”

Adam:
Your words seem to land. He is delirious and hallucinating, but almost with half a mind, he kicks free his shoes, and they clatter [tuts tongue mimicking tumbling shoes] under the table. You would have to crawl under to get them, but they are free from his feet.

Jess:
I kneel down and, taking the key in one hand, and his right foot in another, I carve a deep gash into the sole of his foot, and then another across. Dripping blood onto the floor. A relic of travels. The distance this man walked from where he began to where he is now, and where he will walk no more.

Adam:
As you carve into his foot, he jerks, but his movements are languid and halting. You sense the life leaving him. There is not long yet.

Jess:
I stand up. I look into his eyes. I take the ocarina, and I place it in his hands, and then put those hands at his chest. A piece of my heart. For it belongs to him now.

Adam:
The room is filled with an eldritch, polytonal hum. Your hairs have stood on end since unwrapping this ocarina. But they rest in his hand. They rest at his chest.

Jess:
And lastly, as I watch the last of the life leave his eyes, I draw mine close to his, staring deep into his soul, and I speak,

Jess (as Caradog):
“You came from nothing, and you have amounted to nothing. No one will remember you.”

Jess:
And as I say this with uncharacteristic speed, I jab my hand into the pit of his belly, as I capture that fear. His fear. But this gambit, this deal, has been all for nothing.

Adam:
As you jab him in his stomach, he slumps forward onto the table. The last words he heard were ones of hopelessness. Lord Evagrius is dead. As you finish setting up, I would like you to describe this tableau that you have created, in a duet with Lord Evagrius.

Jess:
At the head of this long table, Lord Evagrius sits, still imposing, in a strange, hollow way… But now slumped over. His shoes kicked off, his one bare foot, dripping with blood from the cross carved into it, by the dark black key that lies by his feet. His body seems coiled around his belly. The impact of my fist, as he consumed his final calories, processing the idea that his life had been for naught, and clutch to his chest, the ocarina. From the mantelpiece of my family home. A home destroyed, in such a different way from the way in which this one is. But, a family home destroyed by one means, is not so different from another.

Adam:
That low hum builds into a drone, filling the room. Filling your mind. The candle lights dim on their own. They burn low, as if hours have passed. There is no song to sing, the drone drowns it out. You may speak thrice aloud the sins before you, but beyond that, you are deafened. On the table before you is a cornucopia of food. Choices beyond anything you've ever had access to. A feast, as if set for a ball. It is for you to choose what amongst this wild extravagance you will pick, to sup over the body of the Lord Evagrius.

Jess:
I look to Eidolon, who still sits on the table, her tail flicking back and forth, with a quiet discontent, and something primal comes over me as I climb onto the table myself, and begin to shovel food into my mouth. I find myself first drawn to the palates of childhood. Simple, sweet, untainted. Milk, honey, applesauce. And then, I begin to search for, yearn for, more complicated tastes, flavours, spices, stews, soups. Curries from distant lands. Flavours that I've never tasted before in my life. Berries from vines I've never seen, tart and bursting with life, of worlds undiscovered. Of lives that have not yet been shaped by sin. I pour wine down my throat, spilling onto the lavish finery around me. An unquenchable thirst, and I know not if it is a thirst for sustenance, for liquid, or simply for ambition. The ambition of Lord Evagrius. I dive into cakes, soufflés. Rich meats. Salads, with colours that I cannot imagine occur naturally. I rip the tender meat off of bones. I shovel bread into my maw, some of it stale and dry, some of it rich, buttery. And lastly, as I find myself coming to, almost waking up from a dream, I reach for… The goblet. In front of Lord Evagrius. Which, if I'm not mistaken, contains whatever came back out of his mouth when he vomited. I stare at it. I gaze almost longingly into the portion of what was once in his stomach. So plentiful that, even without this, he was still poisoned. He still died. I ponder for a moment what that might be like. But then I dump out its contents. I throw it across the room, it smashes into the wall. Falls to the ground. I pick up a pitcher of clear water, and I pour it on top of my head, drenching myself. I shiver, take a breath, and close my eyes.

Adam:
The tone of the ocarina reaches a feverish pitch, as you gorge yourself on the food before you. As you ponder the goblet in your hands, the charm is broken, the song cut short, and you are brought back to sanity. Without thinking, you grab the pitcher of water. You pour it upon yourself, washing yourself clean of the sins of the family of Evagrius, but it may not be enough. You feel them vibrating. Shaking with anticipation, begging to be used, two coins. You will, as always, place two coins before you. The Baker's Coin and the Butcher's Coin. Please flip your first flip.

Jess:
I take the Baker's Coin in hand, and shaking, I flip it. Heads.

Adam:
Black bile.

Jess:
I flip it again. Heads.

Adam:
There is an imbalance. Black bile.

Jess:
Okay. I take the Butcher’s Coin. My entire body is vibrating with fear and anticipation. And I flip it. Heads.

Adam:
Phlegm.

Jess:
Once more. It's heads again. Heads every time.

Adam:
There is a discordance. And what an appropriate discordance it is. As you flip the coins, as you balance the humours, you see a vision. You are sitting at a table, replete with beautiful food, and a scruffy looking person stands before you, and whispers in your ear.

Jess (as the vision):
“You came from nothing, and you have amounted to nothing. No one will remember you.”

Adam:
In the last moments of your life you are awash with melancholy. Your soul makes the transition from living to dead, in the purest form of sadness possible. And it severs the ties of connection. It breaks any joy, or any ambition, and leaves only aloofness. Phlegm and black bile is all that remains in the soul of Lord Evagrius. A scream rings out, echoing in the dining hall. The crystals in the chandeliers above shake and clatter. You have doomed a soul. And you feel it. As your gorge rises, you have doomed yourself. For the job of a sin eater is to take upon themselves a piece of the sin of those that they administer to. And you have taken a large piece from the Lord Evagrius, and it overwhelms you. You see a monster appear in the dining hall of the Evagrius manor, [Jess exhales] chained and bleeding, its claws grasping at what it can never have, its eyes sunken and hollow. Around its neck, a branch of a family tree, rotten and broken. It looks at you, and for a brief moment of lucidity you see the Lord Evagrius in this monster. There is no recrimination in its eyes. There is understanding. He deserves this. But, in his doom, you have crafted your own. Once more a scream rings through the dining hall, and the horrid monster that is the soul of Evagrius disappears, sent out beyond the walls of Shura to roam, to hunt, to devour. You feel a weight. You feel the weight of every failure. And now explore this: you had three successes, you had two imbalances and you had two outright disasters. Your failures outweigh your successes. And, as you administer to the Evagrius family for a final time, you feel the weight of those failures clawing at your throat. You must write, perhaps hurriedly, of this failure you have experienced. What is it that you tell Gruffold of this moment?

Jess:
I open my journal, I scrawl, ‘Calamity. Six of the Evagrius family I tended to, and one drawn in through some strange verbal contract, I understand not, and this man, Livor, and his connection. The way he was brought into the fold of this curse. This deal with the devil. It is his link that in this moment I find my thoughts drifting to. For, if the Lord Evagrius simply told Livor that he was beginning to consider him akin to a father… How must he have thought of me? If Livor was the servant to their souls in life, surely I am that, at the threshold. And in excess of that, I too have inserted myself into this family, in my mind's eye, in my fantasies. I have dreamt that somehow I am one of them. I am equal to them. And I have been visited in my failures, by a monster. In incidents that, I first believed were isolated, and now I have come to understand are part of the same strange events that have now led me to the strangest meal I have yet consumed. I do not know what will happen to me, but, Gruffold, keep a close eye on my footsteps. For the rain, and tides will fill them until they are unrecognizable, and that will not do, because you, my child, you must walk in them sooner than I would like. I hope this book finds its way into your hands. I hope that my soul finds its way to freedom. I hope that you find your way into a life that I could not.’

Adam:
Your work is finally done. End this ritual. Unring the bell. Close all the doors and salt the threshold. You must try to sever the link if you can, and to do that, you must speak thrice. A word for the person that was, a word for the body that is, and a word for the soul that will be.

Jess:
Still shaking, I speak.

Jess (as Caradog):
“Regal. Ruined. Reckoned.”

Jess:
As I turn and walk away.

Adam:
As you speak that final word, and turn your back, you do not see it, but you hear the ocarina let loose one last, dull hum, as the body of Lord Evagrius turns to ash. You sway drunkenly down the halls, losing yourself. You don't even know how long it takes you. A house this big, so empty, feels unnatural. But eventually, after some time, you reach the front door. For the first time since you have come to this house, you use the main entrance to leave. As you step out onto the opulent promenade, with its fountains and columns, you stumble down the stairs. You fall to a knee. You feel your gorge rising. And you heave. A rancid effluvium pours forth from you. You have gorged yourself too deeply. Both on supper, and on soul. Bile and acid crawls forth from your pores. Your body is wracked with convulsions. You heave. Your stomach twists. You feel your bones creak and crack. Your vision tunnels. Sound becomes muddy. As you… As you kneel before the Evagrius manor, you consider all you have done, and all that you were. Your body heaving with sickness. You look up at the open doors of a manor whose hospitality you never truly knew, and tears come unbidden to your eyes. And that is where we will end the story of Caradog of Barley and Bile. Thank you for listening. Good night.

[dark string outro music]

Adam:
Sin Eater: Absolution is performed by Jess Lupini and Adam Lucas. Special thanks to our campaign artist, Cenzi, who you can find as @cenzi03 on Instagram. Music and effects by Epidemic Sound and Si Rutherford. For more stories, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. This show is made possible by our sponsors who support us and allow us to tell the stories we want to share. We are grateful to be sponsored by Hero Forge, who offer fully customizable miniatures made with their online 3D character creator! Head on over and design your own Sin Eater, and get them printed in a variety of materials, including colour printing options! With new content added each week, check out www.heroforge.com to start bringing your character to life! We would also like to thank our sponsor Hunter’s Entertainment. Hunter's Entertainment is a premier purveyor of tabletop RPGs and board games, providing amazing alternative systems for whatever setting or scenario you want to bring to the table. With titles like Kids on Bikes, Alice is Missing, God's of Metal: Ragnarok, and of course, Sin Eater, Hunter's brings beautifully written & designed books to dive into with your players. Check them out at huntersentertainment.com and sink your teeth into something new. Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our first adventure within Shura. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Sin Eater bonus content and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. Thank you for listening, stay hungry and be safe.