BlackwaterDnD

Em:
Welcome to BlackwaterDnD, where good friends tell better stories. This series, Wayward Autumnal, is a four part miniseries using Under the Autumn Strangely by Graham Gentz, now available at itch.io for purchase, and is produced in proud partnership with All My Friends are Stories. This series is sponsored by the Mycologist’s Primer from Double Proficiency and Hunter’s Entertainment. This tale sees us dive deep into all things agrarian as we find ourselves lost in the terrifying dreamscape of the Never Was. For this story, our traveller is played by myself, Em Carlson, our Arcadian is Anne Monteverdi, and our Terrors are played by Cameron Strittmater, Candace Marie, and Josephine King. As this game falls within a pastoral folk horror genre, it may contain themes and depictions that are triggering for some listeners. Please take care of yourself and access safe support as you see fit.

Content warnings for this episode include: The woods // getting lost // violence // misogyny // gaslighting // death of a parent // knives as weapons // substance use // taunting/teasing // blood // birth imagery // holes and pits // being watched // misophonia // religious overtones // animal death // allusions to cults

So sit back and relax, fellow travellers. And welcome to Wayward Autumnal.

Chapter 1, Part 1: Down the Red Brick Road

Anne:
Could you describe the music to start?

Em:
As we open on this chapter, amidst the sound of birds, and the crunch of fall leaves, we hear a solitary violin playing something quite mournful. It doesn't initially strike you as sad, but the longer you listen to it, the more pain you can hear coming through with every pull of the bow across the strings. It stops, and starts, and stops, and starts moving as Roslyn moves on her way.

Anne:
Our story starts at the edge of a wood, with Roslyn and her basket. Behind you there is fields of hay and flowers, gated by low fences made of wood, bleached gray with age. The sun is coming low gold over that wheat, and that scent of warm hay after a long day is something familiar and present, and then the wind twists, and the direction changes. And up ahead, you're taken in the scent of peat and moss, the cedar, hemlock, up ahead, the paper birches that peel like bones. You look ahead into the wood in front of you, and see that where the tended ends and the wilds begin, it's as though a path has been cleared for you. That the ferns are parting and inviting you in. And the canopy is knit together so tight above you that the little bits of sun that cut through make these dappled constellations on the forest floor. You hear the wind catch in the aspens and start to rustle in a cerceration, that's almost a whisper, and up ahead in the distance, you swear you hear a voice, or voices, and it's something familiar, but also not quite. And the question we need to answer is, who is it? And what are they saying?

Cameron:
As the voice catches your ears, you breathe in deeply, and the wind greets your lungs, cold and sweet like an apple. And, the sting is not just from the breath I see inside your lungs, or the anticipation of who's ahead of you, but the fresh reprimand from your own mother still weighing heavily on your mind as you set off today.

Em:
And then I catch myself. Because while I hear her reprimand, that I shouldn't go out in the woods alone to forage, that that is a two person job that should never be done by oneself, especially near daytime. I remember that… the last time she told me that was three and a half months ago. And it's her voice inside my head that keeps repeating over, and over, and over again. But, this is my job now. We need mushrooms, and berries, and foraging from the woods for the dinner I have to make, to start tonight, that will take me well into the evening, that I will have to continue tomorrow, to put on the table at a reasonable hour. So, from maybe one of the first times, I truly do not heed her warning, because she's dead, and I can't hold that anymore. Because that's not my life now. And I think I feel that air catch in my lungs, and try and exhale it forcefully as I gather my skirts, kneeling down on the ground, and I flick my long strawberry hair, strawberry blonde hair back behind me, tucking it into my bonnet, as I pull out a bone paring knife, and begin to start cutting mushrooms that I know we can eat from the floor of the forest.

Anne:
You find bright purple mushrooms that have grown right at the edge of the wood. Now, one thing you would know is that, like many mushrooms, these ones fruit when disturbed, that something has trodden here before you, and that it's those footsteps that you follow that have provided.

Em:
I know these mushrooms. While they are bright in colour, and might be perceived as poisonous, they are okay for us to eat. Amethyst deceivers. Deceiving in the way that they look poisonous, but are not. I fluff out my skirts around me so that I can fully get my hands deep in the dirt. And as I do so, I do everything I can to get my hands fully in the soil. They're stained red all the time, the beets do that, and I can't get it out, and if I can stop looking at them for a couple minutes, maybe, just maybe I can forget, and just be out here in the woods, and I take my paring knife and, I think I hear that rustle, that whisper on the wind again, and I am careless in a moment, and I cut my thumb.

Cameron:
As the blood flows ever so familiar, it's not uncommon to slice one's thumb while picking mushrooms near the edge of the wood. The work takes a backseat in your mind in its familiarity, and as you prick your thumb, bringing it to your lips to suck the small wound, the baleful wind of autumn carries the sound over to you, from somewhere up ahead. Not high and lilting, but low and masculine, the sound of a hymn that you can't quite place the words to, being sung not too far ahead.

Em:
I like church hymns. They sang some beautiful ones at my mother's funeral. And I think that was the last time I sang, at least in front of people. And, these woods are usually bereft of people. We're the only farm for miles around. And so, I think I suck the blood off of my thumb, seeing that they glow a bit lavender as the iron of the blood hits the air, and I know that that's what amethyst deceivers do. I grab a handful, less carefully than I would like, knowing I can clean them up later. I put them in my skirt, and stand up, shoving them in my basket, and I take my basket under one arm, and I don't even think about it. I should have every instinct to not go further into the woods, not alone. Mama would have never said to do that. She would say, go home, go… tend to your chores, and get ready. But there is so much to do at home. And so maybe I, maybe I really don't listen. I shove the mushrooms in my bag and… I am sixteen. I am a woman now. I am the woman of my household. And I start walking towards the path where the ferns have parted. And I think I call out.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Hello?”

Anne:
You walk forward, and the sound of your shoes on the dirt gives way to the sound, the clack of soles on stone, as you, as when you walk the soil beneath you is disturbed enough, and you see that there is a stonework path in bright red stone. Nothing you've seen in the quarry, or mountains around here, something that looks like the bark of the inside of the cedars instead, or that matches the glow red of the maple leaves above you. And it's something about the way the timing of your footsteps. It's like every step you take, you start to hear a response, and you can't hear it over your own feet. And then you stop, and it's quiet and you take another step, and you hear the words again.

Em:
I have to know what's being said. I… my mother always said I had curiosity like a cat. That was something that would have to be managed at some point. But this pathway is nothing. There is no, nothing that would colour wood, or stone, like this. And so I step forward.

Cameron:
The voice becomes familiar. And as you wander through this unassuming maw at the forest's edge, of trees curved to create this canopy, stepping onto a road you've never seen before, the voice meets your ears. And it's for such a strange setting, a really useful foothold for you to have something that feels right, that feels familiar. And coming around a corner, there you see him. The... pastor's son.

Em:
I immediately, I think there is a touch of frustration, and embarrassment that I have been now seen in work clothes, not done up in my Sunday best like I am at church. And I kind of pull down my skirts, and clean my hands off, and adjust my bonnet on my head.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Micah, what are you doing out here? You don't live here.”

Cameron:
The singing stops as snapping, fresh from whatever his reverie is. The relatively handsome, slightly older young man turns to look at you, his clerical black flapping in the light breeze. And it's surprising, his hands are as red as yours. He's holding a brace of coneys, of freshly slain rabbits, all on a string that sort of sway, and he goes,

Cameron (as Micah):
“Oh! Roslyn! Well. Well, shucks. I thought I was all alone out here. How do you do?”

Em:
I think I curtsy a little bit out of sheer sense of propriety.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Um… Fine, thank you, Micah. I'm preparing for, for Thanksgiving.”

Cameron (as Micah):
“Mmm, same.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“The rabbits. I've never seen you out here before. I didn't know you, you hunted in these woods.”

Cameron (as Micah):
“I suppose that makes two of us, doesn't it?”

Cameron:
He laughs easily. You see his gaze flick from you, to the path behind you, scanning to see that, is there anybody else? And it does not appear that there is. He returns his attention to you and says,

Cameron (as Micah):
“It sure would be nice to have some company. We're much more fearsome as two in these spooky old woods than just as one. Would you mind coming along with me, just a little while?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Ah, sure. Yes. We will... I mean, if you would be kind enough, potentially, even afterwards, to walk me back to my house, I've always... Mother's always said… My mother used to say that you shouldn't be out in the woods alone, so I am appreciative of the company.”

Cameron (as Micah):
“She sounds like she was a smart lady. I would be happy to be your escort this afternoon.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Thank you.”

Cameron (as Micah):
“Come along, we've got things to find, don't we?”

Cameron:
And he starts off.

Em:
Does he go deeper into the woods?

Cameron:
Oh, yes.

Anne:
As you see this, you look down and your basket has begun to glow, with, not that same lavender tinge of the spores, but almost something like a red glow, something warm, but bright enough that it seeps through the cracks of the willows that tie together in the basket, and covers the ground ahead of you in this warm amber tone. It's easier to see your footing this way.

Em:
I, um… I think I take a handkerchief from inside my apron, shake it out, and this must be a trick of my eyes. I must be getting tired. It's the forest. It's just the sun coming through. I open my basket, and I cover the mushrooms inside, knowing that I don't want them to brown, or to shrink or shrivel before I can get them home and prepare them with dinner. To be honest, I should be getting home sometime soon, but Micah is here, so, and he's caught many rabbits, so perhaps I can be helpful to him. I am… I think also too, I… take my paring knife from inside my basket, and I put it inside my apron.

Anne:
You take the knife, you reach into the basket, and cover it up with a nice linen cloth that you brought with you, to keep things safe. But it's like the light clings to you. That red cast on your fingertips gives way to an orange vibrance, not quite luminant, but so bright in tone that it catches every bit of light that it seems to glow the same way that the leaves go from the pale green, in that moment when they go to the yellow, and orange, that they almost seem like a neon, of that has taken to your skin as well, as you plant the knife.

Em:
I think there's a moment once my hands emerge from my apron that I stare at them, and I think then I hear Micah whistling up the trail and it's, I haven't been myself these last little bit. I have work to do, Micah is here, and I take off with a brisk walk down the trail.

Anne:
I think we get a shot as Roslyn advances, of just the trees behind you, catching in the wind going one way, catching in the wind going the other, until suddenly there is no more path back to the hay and wheat. Roslyn doesn't look back, but if she did, she would see that there was only the trees that seemed to continue forever in every direction.

Cameron:
Micah walks with purpose, several yards ahead of you at first until you catch up, and gives you an easy enough glance as you meet him at his side with your basket, and the unusual glowing, which doesn't seem to catch his interest or really draw his eye. He seems to be walking with purpose as he says,

Cameron (as Micah):
“Papa would have a conniption fit if he knew I was wandering this deep into the woods, but lucky for me, I found you. What are the odds? Do you… do you often find yourself wandering this deep into a place that doesn't seem fit for such a young lady such as yourself?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Oh, um, these woods are quite familiar to me, my, would, must spend most of my days if I wasn't preparing beets, or washing, or doing my chores out here, gathering, and learning about everything that grows here. I've always been fascinated with what can be made from the forest, whether that's tonics, or salves, or even what grows, what you can eat and what you, you can't, I know most things that are poisonous and dangerous in these woods, so, if you get hungry for a snack, I can help.”

Cameron (as Micah):
“Bully for that! Seems like we'll make a fine pair. And hey, I might just… offer an exchange. Perhaps a couple of these rabbits, a few mushrooms? This could be a good thing for both of us.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“I'm sure! My father and my brothers would love rabbit. I haven't made a rabbit stew in a very long time. But perhaps, perhaps yourself and the pastor would like to come for dinner sometime.”

Cameron (as Micah):
“Much obliged. I certainly think that would be appropriate. Just a few more snares for me to check, but nothing like an autumn constitutional, no?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Yes, I'm grateful to be of the company, Micah. I know we haven't had a lot of opportunities to speak after church, but I've really admired how you've been learning from your father. It’s admirable, It's very admirable to see.”

Cameron:
He laughs and looks at you and says,

Cameron (as Micah):
“You don't have to put on there, that man is a windbag and we both know it!”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Uhh, I don't know if it would be right for me to speak against the pastor, Micah.”

Cameron:
He gives you a wink, and that's when you hear an ear splitting shriek from deeper in the woods.

Em (as Roslyn):
“What was that?”

Anne:
You hear a little mewling caw and then,

Anne (as Raven):
“Windbag!”

Em:
I think Roslyn swirls around trying to pinpoint the sound of the noise.

Anne:
And there... It's almost an impossibly large raven that's staring down at you. And then a second next to it.

Cameron (as Micah):
“Well, how about that?”

Em:
I think I take a half step backward.

Anne:
One of them has one of those pointed chestnuts in its mouth. You know, the ones that look like morning stars, the top of them? Yeah. And the other one just repeats,

Anne (as Raven):
“A pair! Windbag! A pair!”

Cameron (as Micah):
“Roslyn, it seems there's an echo in this here forest.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“I've never seen birds quite that big! I didn't know that there were any roosts of ravens in these woods. I've never seen those before.”

Cameron (as Micah):
“Nor I, nor I…”

Cameron:
He says, watching them warily.

Anne:
And then the raven opens its mouth again, and just repeats the sound of the scream that you heard. But this time it's much closer. Like it's like clearly like right from him.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Oh, gosh, was that one of your snares? Was that a rabbit?”

Cameron:
He, equally unnerved looking at the birds, leans down and just, not with any sort of force, sort of like lightly takes a free hand of yours, as he is equally troubled by the sound of this. And he says,

Cameron (as Micah):
“Well, up until this moment, I assumed it was, but it seems we have some mischief afoot here.”

Cameron:
You would know that, yeah, it does sound like a rabbit shriek, but you watched it come out of this bird.

Em:
I think there is a moment where the second Micah touches Roslyn's hand, that she panics, and wonders about if this was set up. Her father knew she was out foraging, and he has not stopped talking about the prospects of marriage since mama died, and, I think there is just this burning, snaking suspicion that this wasn't just a happenstance in the woods, that this was a something that was set up to make her think that this was something that she stumbled into. And I think there is an uncharacteristic flash of anger that crosses Roslyn's face. And she doesn't turn to look at Micah. The anger would only be seen by the ravens. If they were looking at her as she gently, not forcefully, takes her hand out of his, and returns it to her skirts.

Cameron:
If Micah notices, it's hard to say. As he looks at the birds, then at you, saying,

Cameron (as Micah):
“Well, if these carrion crows have spotted something that stepped into one of my snares, then bigger, worse things can't be far behind. We should probably move. I think the next one's right over here.”

Cameron:
And without a second thought, just heads off deeper into the brush.

Em:
I stare at the ravens for a moment.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Get out of here! Go! Shoo!”

Anne (as Raven):
“Get out of here! Get out of here!”

Em:
I take… I take one of the mushrooms out of my bag, and I throw it to the raven.

Anne:
The raven just [whoosh] off the branch, and just [whoosh, whoosh] and the ravens have this uncanny way of flying without, with barely flapping their wings. So it just glides down and it, the mushroom in its mouth, and it's like a supernova, a starburst effect, just out from the raven as this mushroom, those little glowing spores just seem to, for a moment, blind you with how bright it gets. And then it's gone. And the raven is sitting at your feet. The light is gone. And the one raven is still up on the branch. The other one is sitting at your feet, looking up at you. It says,

Anne (as Raven):
“Shoo, shoo!”

Em:
I think Roslyn looks down, and there's that... That anger hasn't left yet. This bird is becoming annoying, and I've been set up. And I don't know why this bird is doing this. And I think Roslyn leans down and goes,

Em (as Roslyn):
“These are my woods. You shoo.”

Em:
And she turns, and walks after Micah.

Anne:
You turn around, and so you don't see it, but you hear it.

Anne (as The Voice):
“These are not your words.”

Anne:
But if you look back, the birds are gone.

Em:
Do I recognize the voice?

Anne:
Yes, you do. You recognize the voice with the kind, the way that you can't quite place. Like the way when your mind creates a person for a dream, that is somehow familiar, and yet once you wake you cannot say who it was, or even what they look like. It is a voice that is, it has the local accent, it has the cadence of the people you've heard, it feels authoritative. Like someone who has told you what to do, and someone who you've listened to. But in this moment, you're not able to quite affix that to a name, or even a specific situation, only the sensation of feeling small.

Em:
I've felt small my whole life. This isn't anything new, and I won't let it scare me. I turn around and I walk after Micah.

Cameron:
You push through the underbrush, the trees becoming less forgiving in their efforts to obstruct your path, as the thicket claws at your shawls, and your scarves, and nags at your skirts. And it's not easy going, you have to duck your head to press through the thicket, marvelling at how Micah did it. He stands a full two hands taller, hands? He's not a horse. Two, two feet taller than you. He's a big guy. And, you come into a clearing where you're pretty sure he'd went, but you don't see the pastor's son. You don't see his handsome face, or his flowing robes. You just see a very large hole. And on the lip of it, what appears to be an unlit lantern, and some rope tied to a stump that goes across the clearing and down into the hole.

Em:
I… He was just here, I... I think my hand… I think my hand instinctively goes to the paring knife, and I keep it inside my skirt, but my hand is clutched around. And though we don't see it, but if we were looking at the knife and Roslyn's hand, the sweat under her hands would be moving some of that beet stain onto the bone of the handle, staining it pink, much like everything else. And I walk forward, my basket still under my arm.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Micah? Micah, if… are you okay? If this is a trick… Look, we should be getting back. I know you were looking for your snares, maybe we can get them tomorrow? Why don't you come for dinner?”

Anne:
The smell of soil and the anticipation of rain is so strong here it's cloying. It clings to you like dew, and you hear the creaking of straining trees as though they are leaning in to listen.

Cameron:
There is no response.

Em:
Roslyn would never take the Lord's name in vain, but if there ever was a time, it would be now. And she walks forward, and I go, and I gingerly peek my face over the edge of the hole to see where the rope goes.

Cameron:
Deep and down, far past where the light can find it. It is a strangely profound hole. From the bottom, you hear, much dampened, the familiar sound of some sort of animal cry. No longer a shriek, something has lost its will to cry out, but it's the same mewling, of a factor, as the shriek from before, deep down inside the hole.

Em:
I set down my basket and… I… is there any oil in the lantern? If I go over to the lantern?

Cameron:
Yeah.

Em:
I don't have fire, I don't have a flint, or anything to light it, but this would be probably helpful. So I put it next to my basket, and I go over to the stump where the rope is tied and I give, I reach down to touch the rope, and I try and give it a slight pull to see if there is something heavy and weighted on the bottom, or am I just pulling up a rope that is meant to be used to climb down?

Cameron:
You pull on the rope and at the other end of the rope something pulls back.

Em:
I let it go, immediately.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Micah! Micah, this isn't funny. Please, I... I have to get home for dinner!”

Anne:
There is a rustle in the tree leaves above you, and you hear a chirping, a loud chattering as a chipmunk shouts down on you, shouts down on you. And then a second, and then a third. And then suddenly it is a chorus, a cacophony of shrieking animals, of beady eyes staring down at you from above. And that's when you hear the flutter of wings behind you.

Em:
I turn around.

Anne:
It's like there's nothing there. It's just the black feathers that seem to take your vision, that are catching in the light, the only source being from what leaks out of your basket, what can make it between the willow and twine. You can't even see a bird. It's as though a single wing seems to be taking up your field of vision. And those chirping sounds above you, they're violent and angry and loud and so high, they almost seem like they're forming words now. Like together, each one is just a point, but together they make a melody, and the melody makes a sound, and the sound makes a language, a language you don't speak, but one you can understand all the same.

Em:
I would like to spend a token. I do speak that. I do speak that language.

Cameron:
You know, nightmare bird language.

Anne:
I'm so glad you speak nightmare woodland creature language.

Em:
I think I… I think… How this plays out is that knowing that the first strange thing to happen was the mushrooms. Everything started with the mushrooms. And I have heard tell of that sometimes, sometimes when you eat mushrooms, the wrong ones, you feel strange. And I've never had problems with amethyst deceivers before, but granted they've never looked like this. So I take a mushroom out of my bag, I cut it in half, I press the spores to release them and I eat it. And I can understand what is being said. And not only that, but I can speak it back if I wish to. What do I hear?

Anne:
It's a lot. It's not… Like a jeering crowd at the gallows, you hear them. Some of them, rooting for you. Some of them, calling for your demise. Some of them just saying, you're lost, you're lost, you are lost. And some of them beckoning you forward, some of them wishing you home. And the raven, the raven you can hear now. In its strange croaking voice. It greets you [croaks in nightmare raven], says,

Anne (as Ravens):
“You have found your way to the Never Was. A place that isn't, and where you aren't, and yet you are. And you will likely perish here, or you won't. But don't trust them.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Well, who am I to trust then? You?”

Anne (as Ravens):
“I could say yes, but you'd be foolish to believe me. You strike me as foolish anyway, so perhaps you should.”

Em:
And there's that anger again.

Em (as Roslyn):
“I have been deceived and made a fool of. And I won't have a stupid bird, in a wood, look down on me.”

Em:
I turn my back to it. Maybe the most foolish thing I've done.

Anne:
Mmhmm.

Em:
And I call out one more time.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Micah, if you're here, I'm going home. I don't wish to speak to you anymore. Please do not… follow me after church. I will see you in service on Sunday.”

Anne:
You don't see the chestnut before it hits the back of your head, but you feel it. The sharp, impossible impact from a bird the size that you see in high above. And those spikes seem to lodge, tangle, cut through your bonnet, through your thick strawberry hair, and lodge right in the back of your head. And you feel impossibly dizzy all at once.

Anne (as Raven):
“Silly girl, silly girl, lost alone, lost her path.”

Em:
I pull the, did it bounce off or did it lodge itself in my head?

Anne:
Lodged itself in your head.

Em:
I think I reach my hand into where it is, and I pull backward. I instinctively go to pull it out. And I think I hold it in front of my hand, and I am bleeding. The blood is bright, and warm, and it's like I can taste it in my mouth. It's too much blood. And once again, my hands are red. A different red, but red still.

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“It's not safe here.”

Cameron:
You hear from the edge of the clearing.

Em:
The chestnut in my hand, a projectile that hit me, now could become a projectile to hit something else. I grip it in my hand as if I'm going to throw it, and I turn around and I put my hand back to where the sound was.

Cameron:
The bushes rustle, and you see a funny little shape. Two floppy ears, just a smallish sort of form, as stepping into the clearing is… a child? Some sort of little boy wearing a burlap sack with the corners gathered into two bunny-like floppits pulled over his head, little holes cut over his eyes. And he says,

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“Go on now!”

Cameron:
And throws a little rock at the bird. He's like,

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“Can't listen to them. They're the worst!”

Em:
This is a child, in the woods, very deep in the woods, and it's getting dark.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Have you lost your parents? Come, it's not safe here.”

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“It's not safe here, no, no, you don't need parents. You just need, you should come with me, it's not safe… Damn right.”

Cameron:
He cusses, he puts his hands over his, his mouth and he [stifled chuckle] whips another stone at a bird.

Anne:
Okay, as this happens, so all this entire time you've been in this like, colosseum of these little creatures jeering, and shouting at you. It's been so loud that you can barely hear yourself speak. And when this little boy says, it's not right, and goes to like lob a rock, all at once, it's silent. The animals go quiet and the eyes, their little glowing dots above, seem to disappear all at once. Even the leaves above you seem to hold still and quiet their rustle.

Em:
I notice that. And if these birds are speaking. I've never heard a little boy speak like that. Not in that accent. It doesn't sound like he's from around here, I... Maybe he is… maybe he's of these woods, I don't know. But I kind of straighten myself up.

Em (as Roslyn):
“Okay. If you know what's going on here… I would like to go home, please.”

Cameron:
He giggles at this, and bounces around, and says,

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“Oh, we'd all like to go home. Nobody knows what's going on around here. But me, I'm a big mama jammer, I'm a big wanger, schlanger. You follow me? [snaps fingers, whistles] We'll get you out of here.”

Cameron:
And he turns around and bounds off into the woods, even deeper.

Em:
I have never heard words like that. Must be blasphemy of some kind. A child speaking like this? But he's the only person who… he hasn't threatened me. And obviously there is no clear way back from whence I came that isn't going to be bombarded by birds who are trying to hurt me. And if they've gone silent, that means he's important. So I… I walk following him. I don't give the hole as wide of a berth as I should, I think. I think my curiosity again is getting the best of me. And I take one last look into the hole before I follow the little boy in the burlap sack.

Cameron:
It yawns dark and deep and in a manner… almost alluring. The rope, thick, sturdy, creaks just a little bit with audible tension as you look into the hole. Maybe something's pulling, maybe it's just your imagination.

Em:
Well, I'm not gonna test it now. And I follow the little boy.

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“Pretty girl, shouldn't be in the woods alone!”

Cameron:
He says as you walk into the woods, pops up behind you, grabs onto your skirt, gives it a tug, and then bounds ahead.

Em:
I smack his hand away as he tries to touch my skirts.

Cameron:
He cusses. It is foul. I won't even repeat it here. That's how bad it is.

Anne:
I wouldn't say it.

Cameron:
Yeah.

Anne:
He says it. This little shit.

Cameron:
It's the worst.

Em:
I think I look at him and I go,

Em (as Roslyn):
“Watch your language! You should know better!

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“You should, you… No, you!”

Cameron:
Says the child, as, freshly smacked, seems to spur him on, he says,

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“Young tart like you, scrambling around in the woods, running after boys!”

Cameron:
He giggles.

Em (as Roslyn):
“I wasn't running after a boy! Micah found me!”

Cameron (as Burlap Boy)[mockingly]:
“Micah found me!”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Oh, you're foul. I don't, your parents didn't raise you properly!”

Anne:
I think you kind of are, even as you're scolding him, you are following him.

Em:
Yes, I absolutely am.

Anne:
You are, and this wood, the trees take on a strange character, instead of, you know, the white bark of the paper birch and the aspen, and the red of the cedar, and the deep brown of the spruce. They have, they’re green, and almost slightly, like, velvety, as you move forward. And I think like, as we the audience are watching this conversation, we see the transformation, but you are so distracted by this strange vile child. And it's only after a moment that you realize that these are no longer trees at all. These are sunflowers, impossibly tall sunflowers, ten meters or more, with bright yellow petals that turn towards you, each one bowing its head.

Cameron:
What time of day is it? Like what's the vibe right now?

Em:
I think it was said it was sundown.

Anne:
I said it was like, we’re starting to lose light. So I was thinking like, you know, afternoon golden hour, going into sunset, kind of vibe.

Cameron:
The first glimmers of fireflies start to appear among these looming sunflowers, and you follow this cruddy little kid, with a voice slightly too adult for his tiny shape, and ragamuffin aesthetic, as he looks around, pleased with himself and glad that you're following, and then finds a little mossy boulder, and says,

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“All right, this will do.”

Cameron:
And hops up, and he says,

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“It's quite romantic out here. I’ll take you, I'll take you on home, but first you've got to give us a kiss.”

Em (as Roslyn):
[gasps] “No! No.”

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“You were gonna kiss the man? Just give, just give us a kiss!”

Em (as Roslyn):
“I would not kiss Micah? I don’t, I don't wish to marry.”

Cameron:
He scoffs.

Em (as Roslyn):
“I don't wish to marry!”

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“What girlses do in the woods is up to thems, but I'm not taking you a step further, much less into me own family, without us being kissed proper like.”

Cameron:
He puts his hands behind his back, and his mouth, which is the only thing that's showing under this burlap sack au rabbit, purses into a wet little smooch.

Em (as Roslyn):
“I don't wish to be a part of your family. I wish to return home to mine. And that is highly rude and highly presumptuous of you to assume that I would kiss you. We are not betrothed. We are not said to be married. No.”

[Burlap Boy making smooching sounds]

Em (as Roslyn):
“No!”

Cameron:
He opens his eyes, the sparkle of them showing in the shadow of the hood, and he frowns. And he goes,

Cameron (as Burlap Boy):
“Tart.”

Cameron:
And whips an acorn at you, and bounds off into the sunflowers vanishing from sight.

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Excuse me, could you keep it down please?”

Em:
I think I watch the little burlap boy run into the woods and it's, I think there's a… I think there's a heaviness to Roslyn's shoulders. It's just one thing after another, and I just came to get mushrooms, and I just want to go home. Even the home is the place that I don't want to be these days. I don't wish to be inside that house. I don't wish to be having to make all the meals, and do the laundry, and keep the house tidy, and parent my brothers. But I don't want to be here. And so… I turn around. And I look for the sound of this next voice.

Anne:
It’s not far. Once you're in a field of flowers nothing's really far. And it's a, it's a girl. A little girl. Well not that little. About your age. In fact dressed exactly like you. It's the same frock, and apron, and same bonnet, and amber hair, tucked, mostly beneath, but many tendrils falling out, a bit wild. And it's only when you try to consider her face. It's like, nothing shocking there. In fact, so profoundly unshocking that you can't hold the features in your mind, that they slip out of your memory as soon as they arrive, that you can look at her and it's fine, and then when you look away, it's, all that you remember is that it was just a girl.

Anne (as Flower Person):
“You're being very loud.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“I'm sorry. I don't mean to be, the... Micah, and then the boy. I'm very sorry.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Of course. I'm sorry you had to talk to boys. That sounds awful.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“I mean, they're just people like everyone else, I was just trying to be polite. But then Micah was strange.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Strange?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“He has such airs of confidence to him, usually, but this was more so unnerving, and then the young boy was rude.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Rude?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Had no sense of decency or… He swore, and it was very un… unkindly.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Oh, unkindly…”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Can you help me?”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“You're very pretty.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Thank you.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“You know, I think the flowers are pretty too, don't you?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Yes, the sunflowers were my mother's favourite.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Maybe you can stay with me a while. Join me, I praise the flowers.”

Cameron:
She's standing too close.

Anne (as Flower Person):
“They're beautiful, the flowers. They're so lovely, that even the sun follows their faces across the sky. She knows the flowers are so beautiful, she can't look away. And that's why we must tend them, and care for them, and love them, and appreciate them. They're so beautiful. And so I stay, and I praise the flowers. Do you want to praise them with me?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“I'm afraid I don't know how.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Oh, it's quite simple. All you must do is see that they are lovely, and know that they are lovely, and love them for being lovely.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“And if I do not love them?”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“If you do not love them? Well then you're a fool. They're so beautiful, what's not to love?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“They are beautiful, yes. Um… I can't stay. I have to keep going. Either… and try and find my way home.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Is home beautiful?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“It used to be.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Hmm, I think it's more lovely here, where I can care for these beautiful flowers, and tend them, and serve them, and love them, and they'll never have to worry about a thing except being lovely, and I think that sounds wonderful. You sh-”

Cameron (as Flower Person):
“She's right. It is wonderful.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
[laughs] “You should stay.”

Em:
She is right. It is wonderful. And it would be so easy to stay and be wonderful. And there is a part of Roslyn that hates that she has a guilt that says she has to go home, because she knows what awaits her at home. It's serving, and cleaning, and chores. It's putting dinner on the table every night. It's no thanks. It is expected. It would be easy just to stay because it would be wonderful. And I think Roslyn wishes that she could.

Anne:
It smells impossibly sweet here, like apples, or honey. It's warm. The wind has been cutting at the seams of your clothes, and catching in your hair. But here, it's like a hot spring, a little bit of solace and respite, a simple place. And it smells of soil and sunshine, and it is quiet, and it is nice.

Em (as Roslyn):
“What's your name?”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“What's your name?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Roslyn.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“That’s a beautiful name. You're so pretty.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Thank you.”

Cameron:
It was easy to miss when you were meeting your new friend, but she isn't alone. Off in the distance, not too far away, peeking out amongst the other colossal sunflowers are familiar, similar faces, happy, happy flower people. Soft giggles float on the wind towards you.

Anne (as Flower Person):
“You know, we think you're wonderful.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“I can't stay.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Aren't you tired? We can help. You don't have to work at all. We think you're so beautiful.”

Em (as Roslyn):
“But there’s… but there is more to life than just being beautiful.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“Why?”

Em (as Roslyn):
“Well, I am smart, and I am quick, and kind, and… There is more than just being pretty.”

Anne:
She keeps talking in that small doll-like sing-song voice, but you hear something else out of time with the lips, of the movement of her lips. You hear that same voice, that dream logic authority saying,

Anne (as The Voice):
“And how has that served you?”

Cameron:
As your stomach twists in one direction, the clean, crisp, metallic sound of a snare snapping shut in the opposite direction, cuts through the commotion in your mind, almost a welcome reprieve from the present conundrum, as you hear the now familiar shriek of a rabbit trap.

Em:
I think I take a couple steps backward.

Anne:
You step back immediately into one of flower people, who is standing just behind you.

Em:
I whirl around and...

Em (as Roslyn):
“Please step away from me. I need to go.”

Anne (as Flower Person):
“You'll make a lovely flower.”

Em:
I take the knife out of my apron.

Anne:
It glows.

Cameron:
And in the commotion, it slips so easily into that person whom you'd bumped into, as easy as a butter knife as it goes through some creamy butter to spread over bread, just right into the abdomen. The flower person looking down, and up at you, their expression full of bliss and equal measures of horror.

Anne:
The flower person grabs a tendril of your hair, and wraps it around their finger. And then with the other hand, reaches for the wound, and extends the bloodied hand towards you, but it is not blood. You know it, it's so familiar. It's beet juice that drips from their fingers.

Em:
I think, taking this moment, I summon every ounce of strength that I have to pull back the knife. I raise my hand up, I shove her to the side, and I run. I run in the direction of the trap. Hoping to find Micah, or some that red path again, or some sense of familiarity. A rabbit caught in a snare is easier than whatever this is, and I turn and I run.

[Wayward Autumnal Theme by Si Rutherford]

Em:
Wayward Autumnal is performed by Em Carlson as Roslyn, the Traveller, Anne Monteverdi as the Arcadian, and Cameron Strittmater, Candace Marie, and Josephine King as our Terrors. Our main theme for this episode, as well as character leitmotifs and folk horror ambiance by Si Rutherford. Additional music and effects by Epidemic Sound and Monument Studios. This series is in proud partnership with All My Friends are Stories. For more from us, come follow us everywhere at @blackwaterdnd, and make sure to check out our Main Campaign on Monday nights at 8pm PST at twitch.tv/blackwaterdnd. To get yourself lost in the Never Was, go support this game and it’s creator, Graham Gentz, by purchasing the ashcan over on itch.io. This show is made possible by our sponsors who graciously support us playing pretend and having feelings about it. We are grateful to be sponsored by The Mycologist’s Primer from Double Proficiency and Hunter’s Entertainment. Want to forage for mystical and magical mushrooms within your ttrpgs? The Mycologist’s Primer features over 100 fungi, lichens, and slime molds, complete with magical properties, based on real-world folklore and ready to be transplanted into your games, novels, and imagination! Check them out at their kickstarter page or on Drive Thru RPG. Finally, we’re thankful for our Patrons for joining us on our journey through the Never Was. You too can come join us on Patreon, where you can check out behind the scenes info, our talkback show Chatwater, as well as exclusive Wayward Autumnal bonus content, like our Session 0 and 0.5, and so much more. Head on over to patreon.com/blackwaterdnd for all the info. See you next time, and to all the travellers out there, don’t get lost!